fossilised | Jotunheimr

Loki smiled, razor sharp, and raised his own voice to match hers in the All-Speak so that they could be heard clearly. His tone of voice was carefully light, not angry or bitter, but making a clear point.

"You must forgive me, All-Mother, I fear our customs are different. Where I come from, a child is taught not to steal, and to apologise for the wrongs they have done, so that forgiveness may come and the incident forgotten. Not to pretend that something stolen can be gifted back with conditions, as though the one who rightfully owns it does not have claim to it, and not offer a word of apology."

He held her gaze with his own, blood red eyes firm and proud, though not twisted with the bitter anger that other versions of himself had possessed. Here he was just refusing to bend to what he knew was wrong.

"I tell you this now, not because I desire revenge, but because I desire peace. There will never be peace if Asgard does not own what it has done. Jotunheim has suffered wrongly, been harmed wrongly, and been maligned to the other realms wrongly for far too long. We deserve justice. Laufey-King may be ruler of a broken realm, but he is still a King, and he will not grovel for scraps. If there is ever to be a chance of peace, Odin All-Father must acknowledge before all the realms his crimes, beg forgiveness, and return what has been stolen. No conditions, no skirting around such things. There are those who will want revenge, yes, but many of us just long for peace and a return to prosperity in our realm. We can have that, and a friendship between our peoples, but it must be done right."

“I will say this kindly because you are young and because you have lived only in a world wanting of hope. You have yet to learn the art of politics and that is what this is. I say this not to be unkind but to help you understand that nothing is fair. It is impossible for there to be genuine balance.”

She did not care for Loki’s tone and she did not feel much fondness for him other than her dreams portraying those feelings and for her desire to connect to others who could tap into the blood of the world tree.

“The price your people paid will never be apologised for. Your dam understands this. He also understands that the Casket is a price that will be paid not for you and not for your people, but for the fealty Jotunheim will show to Asgard as all Realms do. Do not be cross at this. Or school your face not to show it.”

She was very stern, but also kind in her way.

“Retribution will come not through Odin but by his son.”

Loki had been training to be a King for a long time, and he knew that he was not ready, because he did not have it in him to bow and give fealty to a man that had destroyed so much and refused to apologise for it. Why would he not do that, and why would the All-Mother look at him as though he had asked for the moon?

Some small words, some measure taken to show that they knew that there had been fault and there was regret. Was that so much to ask?

"It is a shame," he said, much more quietly but with great feeling. "That the lessons you are teaching the Odinson, is that if he sits atop the golden dias, all owe him fealty and his mistakes will go unchallenged. I will school my face, if it brings back to my people what will save our land, but I had hoped to be friends. It seems that was a childish hope."

It partially amused and partially saddened Frigga that Loki could not see the larger picture. She was not Aesir, she was not of Asgard, but her people had bent their knees in supplication many, many moons before the bloodshed started because they understood the importance of a centralized ruling class and because their pride laid more in their lives being maintained than in being free. There had been freedom under Asgard reign and Odin had ushered in the most prosperity and stability that any had seen before. His father had been more a monster than the young Borson has been.

“Do not dangle friendship as though it is worth more than your life and the lives of your people. As you will surely come to know, there is no such thing as a ruler without temperance or without the ability to bend to his people. Odin does not wield power. And Thor will not wield power either. It is the will of the collective that keep them in charge. It would take a very small fraction of Asgard to make a change in leadership. But that said, offer your friendship to Thor. He, as all Aesir, think with their hearts. A change to his heart can lead to much. I’m sure you have seen this. In a small span of time, he has come to see your people for what they are and not for what he had been taught.”

Frigga‘s smile was almost sweet, but also manipulative.

“As was my intention when I suggested his banishment.” Thor was the gift, not the Casket. Thor was the means to all of Jotunheim’s end if Loki ceased feeling the need for apology and saw what Frigga had done for what it truly was. After all, Asgard itself would need to be changed. And that would start with one headstrong Prince.

Loki might not have noted that Frigga meant her son for a gift yet, but he would realise it when he had a few moments of silence to order his thoughts. He was too much on the back foot as it was now, he had not expected to find himself in Asgard surrounded by the enemy of his people, and he found it unfortunately hard to think with this heat pressing on him from all sides.

How did they handle it?

At least he did not continue to argue, though neither did he bend his neck in supplication to her words. He only stood beside her and tilted his head to hear better what was happening in the throne room. Odin stood before his son, feeling weary and heartsore and ashamed, though he didn't show it, he only stood implacable and proud.

"You have questions, my son. Ask now, or keep them to yourself for good. I will not ask your friends to leave, they may hear this so they don't attempt any further foolish 'rescue' attempts, and so that they may reflect on it while they conduct their punishment."

Oh, Thor had many questions, all of which came pouring out as accusations, rousing and so very angry. Frigga had been right to predict that they would hear all that happened within the main hall, though they stood on the balcony beyond it and out of earshot themselves.

“I have a sister, an older sister, who was banished after my birth but I do not remember. I can remember nearly nothing from my childhood other than a cave and a woman and a winged horse— You said you brought me to the palace soon after my birth for my mother had fallen in battle. Another lie. I was not brought to the palace until you were in need again of an heir, just as you choose to have my brothers live elsewhere—”

Beside Loki, Frigga arched her eyebrows. She’d never heard Thor speak much of his half brothers. He’d adored Vidar as a boy, though his brother went to farm in the mountains, uninterested in court life. He despired her eldest, Tyr, mostly out of jealousy, for his closeness with Sif. Hermod was reclusive. And Baldur…Baldur was still a boy himself, living with her parents and Hermod on Vanaheim. Thor rarely asked after either. To hear him speak now about her own brood did touch her heart. She loved Thor as her own, though he did displace her offspring as heir, but she knew he was not hers and that could not help but cloud their relationship ever so slightly.

“Should I anger you, will you cast me out and birng in the next?” Odin did not get a chance to answer, and did not even try to. Thor moved closer with every sentence and he would let his son get it all out. “Why have you covered this all up? Why gift me a hammer that I am supposedly worthy to weild and yet my blood thirsty sister was also found worthy? What am I worthy of? Causing death? Destruction? This is not a glorious battle, Father, this is murder! We are actively murdering children for a slight that was untrue. And not only have you allowed this, but all the Realms know Jotnar as monsters! They have hated me with every breath and have still kept me comfortable and offered me a Guide and guestrights when by all means, I should have been killed for my transgressions. You kept much from us all, Father, and now we all suffer!”

Loki was well pleased with Thor's words. He spoke with passion and conviction, finally challenging the truths that he had been taught all of his life, and he did it with a surprising eloquence that proved he was perhaps not so slow or dull-witted as Loki might have believed, just one who needed to be guided to proper learning. That should be Loki's role, perhaps it still would be if he could keep a handle on his own temper and passions. It was difficult, he was a creature of chaos and fire and mischief at his core, a hard thing to control.

Odin waited until his son had finished his tirade, a mixture of sorrow and pride rising to take its place on his face. Only then did he speak, his voice quiet in comparison to the roar of Thor.

"I was a foolish youth, and I saw in conquest and battle a way to better Asgard's station and wealth. Hela encouraged this, and her power grew along with our atrocities. It was almost too late when I realised how far we had gone, and how little I wanted this to be my legacy. You were my second chance, I wanted to raise you to be a wise king. What was worthy once, was no longer worthy."

He knew that he had made mistakes, but he tried to rectify them.

"I want you to be the King that I have tried to be these last centuries, and better. It is why I have been so hard on you when I see you valuing nothing but might and bloodshed. War is not what our Kingdom should be, and you should not repeat my mistakes."

“Would it not have been better to change me by changing the perception of Jotunheim a millennia ago? Would it not have benefited us all for you to have taught me as a child that the stories of the Jotnar are beasts and feral monsters were untrue?” Thor was trying hard to wrap his head around this. “To keep me from becoming my sister, should you have not taught me of her and of why she was banished?”

“You are wise despite your youth. I should have. Pride kept me from these things. It was the All-Mother that suggested your punishment, Thor, for I was again ready to banish my kin for their mistakes lest they grow up to become insatiable for power and blood.”

Odin’s words struck Thor hard across the mouth and the Thunderer stepped back, footfalls softer than they had been weeks before when he was at full power.

“I have spent my whole life doing nothing but attempting to please you. And you would dismiss me so quickly?” Silly. He knew that already. Why else were Frigga’s children and his brothers kept from Asgard? Odin was wise, no one said otherwise, but he was stupid as well. “I have spent my life as a fool.”

"Hela attempted to please me, you should look to a greater goal and attempt to better Asgard. A King should be a servant to all of his people, and protect those weaker than himself, so that everyone may prosper, not just his own wealth."

Odin leaned forward on Gungnir, looking old and tired. He had put off the Odin-Sleep for too long now, and he should take measures to rest. He could not, though, while this was going on, he needed to make sure that his son was on a better path.

"I am pleased that you have heeded the lessons your mother thought you would learn on Jotunheim, but here is another. We cannot give back the Casket of Ancient Winters without insurance that they will not rise up against us, the Jotnar are powerful and implacable enemies, and a war would bring ruin. It is why I have kept it for so long, I could not risk Laufey turning his mind to revenge."

"Laufey-King," that was Loki, stepping back in from the balcony to address Odin. "My dam, for all he resents you, never fails to give you the respect due to you by speaking your titles. At least remember that he is also a King, All-Father."

“If they were to begin a war, the only people that would lose would be them,” Thor said with anger in his voice. “And they are very well aware of that fact, Father.” Thor was speaking the words that Loki had told him, yes, but he had also seen it for himself. Unless the vast underground of Jotunheim was filled with war machines, there would be little a few units of Asgard couldn’t conquer.

Of course, Loki had to interject as he was making his point and Odin turned his single eye towards the creature he had not accounted for in Thor’s punishment. He held a hand for his son to cease speaking, and Thor fell silent. A good subject, no matter how angry, and a good son, did as they were told.

He stepped forward, his stance spread as he used Gungnir as a third leg to keep him majestic and tall. “Laufey-King has used many titles when referencing me. Odin One-Eye. Odin Kynslayer. Odin Realmshaker. Odin Spearthumper. Odin Oathbreaker-- I do not forget that he is King of Jotunheim. Nor that Farbauti-Consort is his mate. I do not forget his three children, Loki Silvertongue, Helbindi Mountainside or Bylister the Wise. All titles are earned. I did mispeak to use his name in familiarity as if we two still dwelled in drinking halls upon occasion and for that, I apologise.”

Odin placed his hand to his chest but he did not bow nor nod.

Loki felt unnerved by being the sole focus of Odin's one-eyed gaze, though he had enough presence of mind to accept that apology with a bow of his own head. Not quite supplication, he was careful about that, but respect and acknowledgement of what had been said.

"Your son speaks truly, there are those who wish for war on Jotunheim, who wish to avenge the deaths that have come both to our land and our people, but they are a minority and Laufey-King does not stand among them. He, and most of our people, know that it will take many millennia of peace, even with the Casket restored to us, to heal what has been broken. We would not survive a war, we do not want a war."

He thought for a moment on whether to say more, but perhaps it would be a show of good faith.

"As for those who might be King when Laufey-King returns to the ice... Bylestir is gentle and seeks peace with all, he would be a friend to all realms that would have him. I am less gentle, but I see the wisdom in peace. I want my people to prosper and take their rightful place among the Nine, not live as outcasts, and that cannot be done through war. Helblindi is the one among us who desires war, but I do not think he would get enough of the vote to become King."

Odin did not state that he was aware of the political climate of all of the Realms he ruled over, but instead, he thanked Loki for the information. Helblindi could not, and Odin doubted that Laufey-King would ever give his blessing to his middle child on his death bed, be allowed to win kingship. He would likely remove his brothers from their Realm to lay in rest with their father and bring a war that would cause Odin (or Thor) to have to wipe Yggdrasil’s branches clean of Jotunheim.

“You are by far the favoured, though Laufey-King is not as old as I and it will be many, many years before any vote needs to be cast.”

Odin turned his eye back towards his son and to the four behind him who knelt reverently, their bodies stiff under their armour in fright and confusion.

“Thor, you have not yet proven your worth nor have you fully understood your punishment. From what happened at the site of Utgard to your disregard for the royal family that has played host to you, you must rectify your actions. I will be returning you and Loki Silvertongue to Jotunheim immediately.” He could see that his son was not angered by this. “Do well to make this Realm proud. Learn to be a better man and a better All-Father than your father is. When your Guide tells you he believes you have done all you can to cherish life, travel to Mjolnir and banish the ice around it. If the hammer finds you worthy, you will once more regain it’s power and may return home. I will give you until the end of this day, at sunset, to make preparations and convince your cohorts to cease your rescue.”

Loki should feel a greater triumph at this, but his head was so fuzzy that he barely registered what the All-Father said. This damnable heat had seeped into his bones and begun to leech the chill from his marrow; if any had told him that this was only a mild spring day here on Asgard, he might not believe them, for this felt hotter than anything even in his wildest imaginations.

He was determined, however, not to show weakness in front of the Aesir and so he simply took a step back with a murmured and polite nonsense to thank the All-Mother and All-Father for their hospitality.

Odin gestured with a rap of Gungnir to the floor that this audience was over. He relied on his son to get through to his companions the validity of this trip and, perhaps, the presence of the Jotnar Fyri would help. He was not so large or convincingly monstrous as the outer appearance of some of his brethren, after all.

Sif was the first to rise, following Thor out of the chambers and turning to him with a pale face. "How can this be?" She sounded almost lost. "How is it that we have been lied to for so long? Tell me truly, Thor, you really do not mind being sent back to that frozen hell?"

“I have a formidable snowball throwing opponent there,” Thor boasted as Loki took up the rear. The others were looking at him, unsure what to make of the tall blue creature with the crimson eyes and white markings over his mostly bare body. None could tell immediately that he was ill and while Frigga could, she did not say a word nor offer advice to alleviate the pain.

She knew Loki to be a shapeshifter and a shapeshifter could and often did fully adjust themselves to the new form they took on. This was not mere illusion. Loki had been the creature wrapped around Thor’s waist, he did not walk beside him and make him and all believe that he was transformed.

So far, Loki had only become creatures found in cold climes. He would come to terms with himself eventually, before this day was out she hoped, that he needed to shift himself to something that could thrive here.

And if not? Well, she imagined her son would flee to her skirts and beg for help. Thor was a good boy. Silly and slow at times, but he had all the makings of a fine All-Father. And that included compassion and willingness to ask for help when needed.

Loki would not admit to any that he suffered just for the climate, if Thor could handle the colds of Jotunheim then he would damn well endure the heat of Asgard and not disgrace himself by swooning, though he felt horrendously close to it. He turned his gaze to Thor's four companions, noting that they still called his home a hell despite all they had just heard.

"This is no joke," Fandral muttered, though he tried to put a spin on it. "Still, the blue skin is quite pleasing once you become used to it. Perhaps you have found some Jotnar maids to dandle on your knee?"

"Always thinking of women," said Volstagg, smiling, for he was the most good natured and wisest of the three.

Loki snorted at the idea that there were any Jotnar maids, but his tongue seemed too clumsy to actually give the retort that he normally would. He had to content himself with rolling his eyes and wondering why the world around him was swaying.

Thor laughed. “There are no maids, my friend! Jotnar come in many shapes and sizes, most all tall and thick, but do not have a dual gender. All are fair game if they favour you but none have favoured me yet. I dare say I would do little to please them for they wish to couple with those of their own size.”

“And yet you have one here of your own size—“

“Whom you are speaking about as if he does not walk right with you,” Sif muttered under her breath. She didn’t want Thor to say he was interested in Loki. Especially because he could become a snake. And Thor just adored snakes, as did most with kind hearts. They were known as the best creatures for hugging after all.

Volstagg roared with laughed. “I could never be with someone who does not have rosy skin.”

Wisely, Thor stayed out of this conversation. He did actually find Loki to be exotically lovely, though he appeared more masculine than feminine. He glanced over his shoulder to smile at Loki, and watched him reach out to grip the wall. Could Hogun’s Blade have done more damage? Did the rock thrown harm him more? “Leave us,” he told his friends. “I will show the prince a place to change. I am dressed as the Jotnar dress. He should dress as the Asgsrdians.” Protests fell on deaf ears and when they were suitably alone, Thor reached to take Loki’s hand. “We have healers. My mother is the best and will be discrete.”

Where there had been moments before that Thor had proven himself to be pleasant company, this was the first time that Loki had thought of the Odinson as possessing any part of wisdom. Yet it took wisdom to see that Loki suffered and to send his friends away so that fewer eyes could see his shame.

The problem might be self evident when Thor reached out to take Loki's hand. Skin that would normally cause intense and fierce frostbite even to Aesir hands just on contact, only felt mildly chilly, which was the Jotnar equivalent of dangerously overheating.

"I do not need a healer, I just wish to know how it is that you bear such a summer heat."

Or a mild spring day, whatever.

"I feel that I may burst into flame at any moment."

“It is mild, Loki, and some may say that there is a chill in the air.” This worried Thor. “It must be for you here as it had been for me on Jotunheim. My mother granted me a charm to ward off the chill from my skin. We must to Hiemdall. There is no need to tarry here long. I was given until the sunsets to remain here but I have no need for it. My friends were need to come to understanding on their own.”

For a moment, Thor lifted his hand as if to call the hammer, but Mjolnir did not come. There was no tug of it nearby and he felt nothing strike within him as it answered his call. Thor ignored the sadness he felt, the embarrasment of it, and instead tried to coax Loki into becoming small again, so that he might carry him quickly to the Guardian of the bifrost.

It was an embarrassment to Loki to have admitted his weakness to Thor, so perhaps they could both bear the shame of their shortcomings for once. He allowed himself to be persuaded to change, back into the slinky and fur covered snake creature that he had been before, but he lacked the strength to hold himself on as a belt as he did before.

He had to hang limply in Thor's arms or around his neck like a scarf, and rely on the Odinson to get them to the Bifrost. This would be an issue should he truly pursue the Odinson as a consort, he would need to find a way to exist comfortably in this realm as well as his own.

Carrying a snake around in front of him would be childish and silly and so Thor draped Loki around his shoulders and ran to the stables, past the Warriors Three and Sif. “What’s the rush, Thor? Oy! Thor!” Fandral called out, but Thor more or less ignored him save to say that he would see them all again as soon as he was deemed worthy. He’d ridden fast before, but this was almost too fast, the horse straining beneath him though it did relish being released at such a pace. He called ahead to clear the way, muttering that Mjolnir made for a better ride when haste was needed, and swung off of his sweating mount as Heimdall rose with interest on his brows.

“My Prince? I was told that you were not due back to Jotunheim for many hours.”

“And plans have changed. Please open the Bifrost for us, my friend, we have little time.” Poor Loki was barely moving now, not even to hiss a little or flick his tongue at the air. What a sad state for a snake to be in, even one covered in the less-cute fur that this one was. Thankfully, Heimdall did not hesitate. The sword was thrust home and Thor stepped through the portal quickly to bring the other prince relief.

Loki flopped into the snow when they found themselves back on Jotunheim and felt the freeze of his homeland sink into his bones again, but it was still at least an hour of almost nothing before he had the strength to change back to his natural form and sit up, and even then he still looked tired and weakened.

"...thank you."

It was pointless to pretend that he had not been suffering, that would be taking pride too far into arrogant stupidity.

"I had not thought Asgard would be so warm, I have never even seen a sun like that in my wildest dreams."

“I did not think to have you craft a charm for your protection immediately upon our arrival,” Thor said, sat upon a rock looking as morose and brooding as he had after Utgard each evening. He was worried, and being worried gave him great valleys between his eyebrows. “The All-Mother gave me an infusion before I was cast out. She would have been able to create one for you as well. Should you ever wish to visit Asgard again, I will be sure to not accidentally almost kill you.”

He did offer Loki the smallest of smiles.

“I apologise for my father,” he said, almost too abruptly, finally giving Loki the satisfaction he’d been hoping from Frigga. “He did not answer the questions as well as I might have wished, but I now know the truth. It is painful to know that my family harmed your people, covered it up and… And that I have been bereft of all siblings. I envy the closeness you have with yours.”

"The fault does not lie with you, I did not think either that I would require protection against your realm and, though I do not agree with how ignorant you have allowed yourself to become, I admire your will to discover the truth and ability to change your views when presented with the evidence."

Those were likely the kindest words that Loki had spoken to Thor since they had met, but they were no less sincere than his biting wit. He truly was impressed, it took a great hearted person to truly turn their back on everything they had learned and stand up for what they had been taught were the monsters.

"Perhaps in time you could make overtures of friendship to your Kyn. I admit that it is strange for me, for Kyn is all to Jotnar, it is writ on our very bodies who shares our blood and we hold strong to those lines our whole lives."

‘I would like to, when this task is completed and Jotunheim no longer suffers so much.” Thor was not under the impression that it would be completely possible to save this Realm and all of her people, for a person’s life and deeds were for themselves to bear witness to. However, he could ease the underlying cause of suffering and he had every intention to. “For now, I believe we must speak with Laufey-King if he will grant us audience.”

He assumed that Laufey would always see his child but Thor was another matter.

“I wish his advice on how to work towards saving your people. I have been stripped of my strength,” and so much else, “but there must be something more than learning history and touring affected cities to assist with.” Bringing the Jotnar back into favour with Asgard would mean that Thor would need to make each Jotun hate his own race a little less.

And that would take time.

"I think it would be a good idea to speak to my father, but I also think you should not limit yourself to Jotunheim. Your father has exiled you from Asgard until your lesson has learned, but that is just one realm of the Nine. If you have failed to learn sufficiently about Jotunheim, perhaps your knowledge of other realms that should be under your protection is also lacking."

That was the truth, and he did think that Thor likely could use some tutoring on all realms, but it was selfish. Jotnar were not permitted travel from their realm, to do so was an act of war generally. But if he were acting in an official capacity as the Odinson's guide, then he might be free to go to other realms too. And how he longed to see them all.

"Come, we are far from Laufey-King's palace and you have much to think on, I'm sure."

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