fossilised | Jotunheimr

Loki was beginning to wonder if he had made a terrible mistake in coming here, Stark seemed touched in the mind and unaware of the gravity of this situation, as if this were all a game instead of lives at stake. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, trying not to let this get under his skin too much.

"I do not know the last time Aesir walked here, though I believe no less than eight centuries ago. Jotnar have not been here for a millennia, the last time we walked on this realm was in the year of my birth."

Obviously he didn't remember it.

"We did not expect much to have changed, and yet we find your skylines and even air altered beyond recognition. We are here seeking the source of a great pulse of magic, something which should not exist on Midgard."

Just about everything that Loki said made exactly zero sense. “I’ve heard conspiracies about aliens landing in Area 51 in the 40s, but no Acers and Yojimbos walking around,” Tony said, setting down his glass before he gestured for Loki to follow him into another room. “I can explain the air quality change though. Industrialization will do that. We’re working to reverse it but green energy isn’t as cheap as you’d hope and I might have been trying to corner the market on getting it to the people that need it, but the red tape is ridiculous.”

See? Tony can speak in tongues too.

“Okay, J. I need you to do a mass scan on this whole aliens walking the Earth thing. And I need the results broken down into like... four paragraphs. I think I have the attention span for that. Dig deep into anything relevant. Same with this source of magic thingie.” He made a little rotating wrist gesture and then shrugged and moved on. JARVIS knew what he was looking for and Tony had a really limited capacity for attention. He was already onto the next thing.

Namely:

“What’s it like living so long? Don’t you get bored? I’m bored after ten minutes.” Tony was easily charming, manic, and interested. He couldn’t help it. Loki was the most interesting person he’d ever met.

There was so much that this mortal said which made no sense to Loki, even with his gift of All-Speak. The words made sense in that they were translated, but put together they were baffling and nonsensical. And yet he found himself invigorated, these humans moved at such a pace that it was almost dizzying, a necessity of their short lives, and it sang to him and the chaos in his soul.

"A matter of perspective, I expect," he responded with a smile. "Does a mayfly bemoan the few weeks of life it has, or a direwolf become bored for living a hundred times as long as that mayfly? It is all they know. I am Jotnar, I only became of age on my millennia and I shall live many millennia yet, but this is not unusual for my people, so why should I be bored?"

Yet wasn't he? Is this not part of the reason why he wanted to ensnare the Odinson as his own and travel other realms?

"If you are amenable to acting as guide for my companions and I, I should take you to meet with them."

Tony loved adding onto his prestige. Time Magazine would probably want to do another piece on him for being a diplomat for the people of earth when this all came out. He knew he should probably get in touch with Pepper. He should probably discuss what he was about to agree to with someone more level headed and less periodically ambitious than he was, but impulse won against reason as always.

“I have some time,” Tony said as if this wasn’t a massive deal to the whole of his species.

And in a way, it kind of wasn’t. Not if aliens had been coming for years. Damn. He really hated that the guy with the huge hair was probably right.

“Are we talking the usual touristy stuff or do you want to go native?”

"We merely need a liaison to ensure we are undetectable as not mortal, we do not wish to cause panic, and we will likely need assistance and guiding once I have properly located the source of the magic we have come to see to."

He rose from the seat that he had sunk down into when they had begun drinking and discussing things in earnest, only to offer a hand to Stark.

"Hold fast to me and do not let go, or I cannot guarantee where you may finish your journey."

It would simply be faster to slip through the fabric on the edges of this realm to get them where they needed to go, rather than walk or take a transport the thousands of miles it was back to London.

Common sense told Stark not to take that hand but curiosity outweighed the worry of some infectious space virus and without any further complaint or even a smart assed comment, Tony took the cooler than he expected hand with his own and immediately felt himself torn from his Tower and into the dark. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust and a moment more for JARVIS to reconnect him to his homebase servers and make sure he was all right. The AI was soothing, to say the least. “Sir, somehow we have managed to be transported to London.”

Maybe this wasn’t so soothing afterall.

Tony pressed the hand that was now no longer touching the alien’s against the wall to steady himself. He didn’t care for feeling dizzy unless he knew the reason why. G-forces? Fine. Random teleportation? Not quite.

“London-- England? Why are we in England?”

"I told you that we would be coming to meet my companions, they are in a hostelry in this city."

At least, he assumed they were. He had told them to find one and await him there, but he didn't know how obedient the Odinson would be when he was in the company of the friends who enabled him in his arrogant and foolish behaviours. At least he could feel Mjolnir, here under the guise of something less conspicuous than the star hammer, and so he could navigate towards their small group.

"Come, we do not have far to go. Be warned, the others are more-- effusive than I, and much much stupider."

He liked Thor, might even come to love him, but the man was a fool sometimes.

Much stupider? Tony didn’t find Loki to be remotely stupid. Unskilled, perhaps, but he did just say that his race hadn’t walked around down on Earth in a few thousand years and humanity had come really far in that time. Look at where they were, after all! Computers, robots, motor vehicles? What did they have back then? Dirt? A lot more unextinct species? Tony thought it was a toss up on which he liked better, though he did staunchly believe in being Green and environmentally sound going forward.

“Your friends, the stupid ones,” he said, falling into step with Loki as they exited a seedy looking (and smelling) alley, “I’m guessing they know even less how to behave? You pretty much gave yourself away immediately. I’m pretty sure that they’re going to stick out even more.”

And that was the truth. Thor and Voldstagg were currently downing their weight in alcoholic beverages in the hotel bar of a very upscale joint in Covent Gardens without any way to pay for it.

Not only were Thor and Volstagg drinking at an alarming rate in ever more rowdy displays of merriment, Fandral had already been slapped by six women around the bar and was displaying his red cheek to Sif in some measure of pride. The owners were already considering if they wanted to try and find a way to evict these people when Loki and Tony goddamn Stark walked through the door.

Loki slipped over to Thor, a smile at his lips, and touched a hand to his shoulder. "I have returned with a guide, as promised. One of the leaders of Midgard, and sympathetic to our needs. Come, introduce yourself to Tony Stark."

He said it almost at the same time as the owner, a middle aged woman in an immaculate suit. But she said it with a breathy sort of reverence and was immediately at his side, ready and eager to please. "Mr. Stark, welcome. Welcome. We didn't know you were in London, sir, but we're so pleased to host you here at our humble hotel. Can we get you anything? Anything at all?"

Now this was the sort of thing that Tony often expected and despite wanting to get a good look at the others, he needed to act as damage control. His name helped, but his money did better than that. As Thor scrutinized him with Loki at his side and his friends watched on, taking all sorts of odd bets, Tony bought out the hotel bar, asked for the best available suite, handed over his credit card, and tried to speed the process up as much as he could without letting himself get stopped for selfies or autographs.

Not this time. His adoring fanbase could wait, and since this was England, they more or less kept their disappointment to themselves.

Thor added his latest glass (which he did not smash as the barkeep here seemed angry when he did it the first few times) to the collection on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “This ruler seems both weak and small. Are you correct on his status on this planet? They seem lawless and without many rules. Perhaps they are neither warriors nor seidr users.”

"They are neither, they place their value on trinkets and wealth, as Alfheim."

At least Midgard's commercialised way of thinking and running a realm was not so unusual to the Nine. Alfheim had many lauded warriors, but it chose its leaders based on master craftsmen, or those who had risen to make a lot of wealth through their business sense, theirs was a realm of commerce and creation.

"This is one of their craftsmen, a leader in one right, even if Midgard is split into many small freeholds and princedoms." At least that was what he believed. "Must we begin your lessons anew? A King does not look on a foreign dignitary and immediately question his worth, he should instead seek to learn about the place he comes from and why he is in the position he is in. Perhaps he too thinks you are a poor choice for an heir, puffed up like a bull ox in heat with just as little between your ears."

“But he remains soft!” The dwarven craftsmen at least looked the part. This man, in his strange clothing and his flamboyant carryings on looked like a child with a strange, incongruous beard, as if he could not grow it out properly. Loki had a point about being less judgmental, but Thor could not help himself. “He seems much like the initial guide brought to assist in my imprisonment,” he noted, nodding slowly, as if talking himself into warming up to this man called Stark. “You have yet to steer me into an incorrect pact and so you have my trust. If you say this man has worth and is a diplomat for his people, he must be.”

Thor let it go for now and strode to the man once he was left alone. He held out his hand to grap a forearm, but the Midgardian pressed their palms together after a small sigh and an eyeroll. Thor noted the hesitation, but was unsure if it was part of the strange gesture. Stark pulled back and Thor glanced at his palm, as if expecting to see something left behind.

“Let me guess-- Thor?”

The Asgardian Prince frowned. “Aye,” he said, giving the man a sort of side-eye. “And you are Stark. I need not guess. Prince Loki-fyri of Jotunheim has informed me of your name. What proper title should I address you?” See, Loki, he learns!

Tony smirked. “Just Stark is fine. Mr. if you’re nasty.”

“I assure you,” Thor said, “I am not ‘nasty.’ Nor are any of my companions.”

Loki was actually proud of Thor in that moment. Perhaps he did not have the swift wit that Loki himself had, but he was not as stupid as Loki made him out to be either, and he was willing to learn even in the face of looking absurd which was a huge mark in his favour and something not many rulers could do.

"None of us here wish to be 'nasty', we only wish to investigate the readings of seidr that have come from your realm."

"Aye," Fandral piped up with a grin. "And perhaps seduce some of your women if there's time."

"Please ignore him, he is a fool who thinks only with his genitals."

“You’re in good company here,” Tony said, hands in his pockets so that he didn’t have to do any more shaking. “An entire generation doesn’t have brains anywhere else.”

It made Fandral laugh and raise a glass to toast. In Tony’s head, he counted up the costs of the shots, of the beer, of the mess, and was glad that he didn’t have a limit to his credit card. This hotel might name a wing after him by the time this little meeting was over.

“How about we go somewhere a little less public?” A glance to Loki was accompanied by a smirk. “And we’ll walk this time.” He pulled out his phone, tapped on the screen with his thumb to start toe sequence to get one of his armors to him as quick as J could fly it out here, and strolled towards where the signage for the elevator directed him.

Voldstagg grabbed one of the tapped in kegs from under the bar, causing the whole thing to fizz and hiss under pressure, foam going everywhere.

He added a few thousand to his mental bill and thought about going back for the scotch before he saw the sole woman of the group take several bottles. It was a good thing he preferred blondes.

“So you guys are here sight seeing and magic hunting? Sounds exhausting. Try not to get the attention of the media, will you?”

Thor lightly nudged Loki aside. “He speaks gibberish.”

"I believe all Midgardians do, they have evolved their language to a state where even the All-Speak struggles to translate, do you not find it fascinating?" The scholar in Loki was greatly fascinated by this, he had never before had an issue understanding or being understood, even in the short time that he had been allowed to leave Jotunheim and travel to other realms again. "I fear that he might have a memory impairment, as I have explained to him why we have come here several times now."

It was worrying, and would be shaming, if the guide that he had found turned out to be mentally unsound. Had he not been clear enough that they sought something that emitted seidr in this realm?

"Humour him and come away from prying eyes, we may question him more then."

Loki allowed his hand to rest briefly but possessively on Thor's arm, just a light reminder of his presence and hopefully a way to keep the object of his plans thinking of him as a potential mate.

There was one method of truth seeking that Loki, growing up as he did, probably had never had to employ. Ask the same question and see what sorts of answers you get. He didn’t doubt that at least one of them had come looking for some magical item, but for all that Tony knew, magic was just another name for advanced technology. They could have teleported with a Star Trek like device and it could all have a very good, very scientific explanation. He wasn’t really to go all pagan on this. Having them all connected by basic electrical energy? Fine. That’s how electrons and therefore atoms and everything else worked. But magic? Big space trees? No. That, he was sure, was all a metaphor. And he needed them to focus here. And drill down.

Besides, even if Loki was looking for some big source of energy, whatever the form, the rest of these people looked like they were out of some late 90s or early 2000s band. They were more like frat boys (even the woman) than followers of mystical arts.

And he wanted to get their takes on the whole god and magic thing.

And that’s why he exclusively focused his chatter on Fandral until they reached the penthouse suite. Fandral managed to disappoint, though. His mind was double tracked between accompanying Thor, his prince, and having fun. Tony liked him, but he wasn’t interesting. As they explored the rooms and he tried to get Hogun alone, even was even more disappointed. The guy didn’t talk at all.

And that was why, when everyone was crowded in the bathroom around the rain shower, Tony smirked at L:oki and leaned towards him. “Your friends really are stupid. And I think you alone are on your quest. They all are here to get their party on.”

"You are mistaken."

Loki had watched as Stark made his way around the others in their little group, observing someone else like him who preferred to get the lay of the land and figure out everyone around them so that they could have the upper hand. That was interesting, he hadn't met many people like him in his life.

"The Warriors Three and Lady Sif are here only as protection for Prince Thor, they will go where he follows and do not have his share of the responsibility. He does not have the skill with finding seidr that I do, that is why I am here, they will show you that they have discipline when the time comes."

He hoped.

"I have felt this seidr once in the land where I found you, I believe that should be our first place to search."

Bemused, Tony didn’t ask Loki why he hadn’t just brought his friends with him the first time. He thought it best not to antagonize people who acted like kids and had bigger and better technology than he had. As much as he was amused about sassing Loki, too, he also really liked the guy. They barely knew each other but Tony believed himself a good enough judge of character to tell if he could trust someone or not.

Technically, he had a pretty shitty track record with that but he didn’t like to judge himself as much as he liked to judge others.

“Water from all sides! Midgard is glorious!” one of the idiots called out and Tony arched his eyebrows upwards at Loki.

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one. The blond looks like he can handle himself but what do I know? All foreign princes like to have an entourage.”

Tony scratched the back of his neck and headed down towards the mini bar. Pepper would be yelling at him, kindly, right now but he needed his scotch.

“Is this some quest for the holy grail or are you still interested in sight seeing before we have to fight over you wanting to take something that you probably won’t be allowed to? I feel like we should go out. Enjoy ourselves. You know, before one of them accidental drowns in the bathroom and sparks an intergalactic war that we probably aren’t quite capable of winning.”

Humans were tenacious, though. Hardy. And they did love their revenge.

"I am interested in seeing all you have to offer."

Loki's reply was innocent enough and delivered in a tone that suggested he was merely curious about this new realm, but his eyes were hungry and intense. He intended to learn all he could about every realm and then use that knowledge to create a more unified Nine where Jotunheim held its rightful place. When he was Loki-King of Jotunheim and All-Mother of Asgard, he would make sure his was a time remembered for generations as wondrous.

"I would greatly like to see as much as we can before we must leave, though I am afraid that the removal of the object that creates so much power is not a negotiation. Midgard is not a realm designed for the containment of such objects."

But Jotunheim was.

“Let’s not ruin our friendship just yet,” Tony said, putting a pin in it. Maybe aliens just really liked chocolate. Maybe they would want to take the Hope Diamond or blast a pyramid. It didn’t have to be a big loss to the world, but Tony had already been sworn to defend Earth and he was going to keep his word. Even if one guy against six aliens might get a little dicey.

He just kept drinking. That made everything better.

“How about we discuss strip clubs—“ He was interrupted by Thor, soaking wet, striding over to their little gathering.

He looked like a well intentioned, fun loving idiot. The kind of guy that usually stuffed him into lockers and then apologized back when he was at Grantchester Academy.

“Loki! Join us! Midgard holds wonders!”

“It’s a shower,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have them? Probably not, judging by the smell.” Thor lifted an arm to sniff at it.

Loki rippled where he sat and his form changed to that of a woman, still unmistakable as Loki, but more slender with distinctive curves and a softer jawline. She did not seem to notice the shift, mostly because she hadn't intended it. She still struggled with the two genders and in seeing herself only in one, so it was only natural that she might shift at some point.

Thor would likely understand, the others might not.

"You have seen bathing pools before, what is so magical about the ones here on Midgard? Is this some jest that you are attempting on me, Odinson?"

Thor paid little attention to Loki’s shift. He wasn’t surprised at all, acting as if he hadn’t even noticed, but Tony Stark absolutely noticed. He blinked at Loki, leaned in close, narrowed his eyes and then crossed his arms over his chest. “You could have led with this,” he said. “Your slip is showing.”

The Asgardian prince ignored him. As far as Thor was concerned, he had but one Guide. And though Loki’s obligation to him had ended years ago, simply being around him was enough for him to fall back into those patterns. “Their bathing chambers are far different from any I have seen.”

He offered his hand to Loki, eyes earnest and amused and perhaps a tad jealous of the yappy, small leader that Loki had chosen to show them around.

Thor was not often possessive but Loki had done much, wearing still the tear of the Valkyrie in her hair, to foster this out of character feeling.

Loki wanted to foster that small flame of jealousy. Thor was so generous and open to all, that it made it seem natural for him to share all he had with the people around him - other friends, wealth, strength. Loki wanted him to be possessive enough not to want to share, or be shared in return, he would not suffer the indignity of an open marriage of the sort that Aesir enjoyed.

So she deliberately offered a smile to Stark even as she took hold of Thor's hand and let herself be hauled up and towards the bathrooms.

"Pray tell, what should I have led with?"

She still hadn't noticed her own change, it was so insignificant to her.

As Stark made a vague gesture to Loki’s upper body and Fandral, who had peeked out to see where Thor went, gawked, the prince continued to seem nonplussed. “You have become more fair. I believe the Guide approves.” Which was very narrow of the Midgardian. And Fandral, but Thor had already set out to dislike Stark and Fandral was a very close friend of his. It went against his lessons to treat others differently, but he decided not to speak to it so he would not be reprimanded.

“You did say you were a shapeshifter,” Stark said, drink in hand and following along where Thor did not want him, “and I like this shape.”

“Loki-fyri has many pleasing shapes,” Thor said, giving Stark a stare that led the mortal to throwing up one hand, palm out, in a half-hearted form of supplication. Thor did not agree with the way Stark seemed to make everything a joke. Did Midgardians all feel such a way? It seemed to be true, save for Strange, who mostly seemed annoyed.

“Aye, Thor,” Fandral grinned, “but this one is better than most.” He offered Loki his hand, even if Thor looked like he might claw at him for a moment until the prince reigned himself in.

Loki looked down at herself as she considered what move to take next. She could make Thor more jealous by flirting with both Stark and Fandral, by accentuating the feminine that they clearly saw and liked. But it felt wrong. She had lit the spark of jealousy, but she also wanted to reward Thor for behaviour that was pleasing to her, and so she curled her fingers tighter around his and ignored Fandral's outstretched hand.

"You are both fools if you think this form more pleasing than my other, it is the same in my eyes and it seems only Thor has the wisdom to see that."

She offered him a smile that was genuine. She imagined it must be harder to see past the gender line in a species that had separate genders, but he was doing admirably and she wanted to be pleasing no matter the skin she wore.

"Come, show me these Midgardian wonders of bathing, hopefully when we return there will be less leering over the meaningless shape of flesh."

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