fossilised | Jotunheimr

"Jotnar who have children outside of their pair bond are not looked on kindly."

It was one of the reasons that he had told Thor to potentially avoid rutting with him in that way, though there were herbs and tonics that could be taken to avoid pregnancy among Jotnar youth who simply wished to enjoy one another's company.

He allowed himself to go limp in Thor's arms, as if the motion of that odd stroking was comforting him, words barely above a whisper now.

"You are a fool to think you can put off your wedding. If you do not find a suitable match, the All-Father will surely choose for you."

“It may change,” Thor said, because it was easier for him to believe that. “It may change,” Thor said, because it was easier for him to believe that welcoming Jotunheim back into the fold would automatically grant them freedoms they had not previously had or change their long held customs and beliefs. As good hearted as Thor was, and as much as he had learned and seen, he hadn’t immediately matured or come to understand the natures that dictated all of the sentient beings in the universe. “Would it even be safe for you to carry a Jotun child? There must be magic for that.”

It was probably an insensitive thing to say but he couldn’t help himself. Nor could he help frowning at the thought of Odin taking away his choice of queen.

The All-Mother, when his parents passed, would not be chosen for him. He felt the need to state that plainly. “I intend to have many sons with many women. As my father had done. And his before him. Nothing will be chosen for me.”

No.

No, that despicable pattern could not be allowed to continue. He might be wanting to sell himself for the good of his realm into a political marriage, but he would make sure that he would not be shamed for it. If word came back to Jotunheim that Loki-Fyri's pair bonded mate had conceived with another dam, he would be utterly disgraced and it could even cause war for his honour.

He opened his eyes a little more, as if waking just a touch from the slumber he had started to go into. He knew that the words he was about to say would likely cause anger and offence, but he had to trust that when Thor's explosive temper cooled that he would think of the wisdom of the words as he had done before.

"Is that so? I had thought you wished now to be a different kind of King to your father and his before him. You wish to also have many sons who may be set aside or sent away or chosen by turns, and force your All-Mother to give up her own barns and raise another's? Thought Frigga All-Mother loves you dearly, surely you are not blind to the cruelty of that? What need have you for many sons and many lovers, if you choose that one All-Mother wisely and raise those few sons with proper care?"

Thor was by all rights taken aback. It wasn’t the way Loki said it or how completely inappropriate it might be to talk about future marriages while he softened inside of the other prince, but how it made him feel to hear that.

“My Queen would be free to take other warriors to her bed if she wished,” Thor said in justification. “But I will not banish my sons nor my daughters from my house. And I do not believe the All-Father has been cruel to...”

But that was where it all fell apart, didn’t it?

Odin was cruel to Frigga’s children. He allowed but one child in the palace and the others lived elsewhere. Had Hela still been around, he might not even know who his father was.

Thor turned his head.

“I have no interest in sons or in marriage and I did not need this release to be another excuse for a lesson.”

Loki pulled himself away from Thor, only a short distance to begin actually washing himself since that was why they were here. Supposedly.

"The future will come, Odinson, whether you have interest in it or not. It is up to you to seek out the future that you want, and to be mindful of the sort of man you wish to be. Not just as a King, but as a consort."

He would leave the lesson there.

These words and his absence once Thor returned to Asgard would hopefully be his greatest weapon. If he had anticipated things correctly, Thor would miss him and that would engender feelings that would only grow more passionate as they continued to be apart. And he might consider other aspects of his life that he could not so blindly walk into.

"Come, I will cease lecturing you, I do not want to spoil what has been a pleasant time together."

Thankful for the cease of chatter at the moment, Thor dunked himself into the water and left it again chilled and thoughtful. He did not speak much to Loki as they dried and dressed and found himself looking towards the fyri as the feast went on, lacking though it was compared to a millennial feast on Asgard, and made note of those who came to spend time with him and offer him small trinkets.

Thor had purchased for him gowns and texts, all gifts far exceeding anything these others gave him, but it annoyed him how Loki took each gift just the same and praised it.

It was only proper that he do so but thor was still feeling inadequate. He had nothing left to give to Loki as all had already been given. He wondered if all gathered thought he was slighting the prince.

He huffed into his cups until Farbauti came to sit beside him, long figure made more graceful by the gown she had put on from the Free Markets. Thor made sure to compliment her but she shushed him with a few long fingers dancing about as if testing the water.

“Do not sit here, Odinson. Speak to Loki if that is what you desire.”

“He is busy,” Thor dismissed.

“But never too busy for you.” She gave him a little nudge and sent Thor to seek Loki’s company rather than just watch and brood.

Loki thanked all for the gifts they brought equally, because they were all the best of what could be afforded. Thor's many gifts of books and dresses, though magnificent, were no more worthy than the Jarl of a minor homestead offering him a woven basket to keep his spell ingredients in, because nothing better could be afforded.

He glanced up from accepting a hair ornament from Bylestir, who had commissioned it himself from sea pearls that he had found diving for them himself, and only hesitated long enough to press his forehead to his youngest sibb's before turning his attention to the Odinson.

"You have a sour look, do the celebrations not agree with you?"

He wondered what magnificence must have been given at Thor's millennial. This was opulent for Jotunheim, and he was touched by the efforts, but he had seen how poor their realm was in comparison to others now.

“it depends upon the celebration. This one is worthy enough and yet—“ Thor glanced up at the two hovering dignitaries and though they did not care for the glower offered to them, they did at least take the hint and left Loki to Thor alone. “I am out of place and without a gift of any worth at all. We have spent night and day with one another and I did not know it was your naming day. I did not know that you were nearly killed before the feast this eve. And that I was the one to put you in danger.”

He left out a low sigh that was followed by s nod of his head before he put his hands on either side of the great belt buckle.

“You have taught me many things and have treated me as a friend. And I sit here with nothing to offer you.” Other than much of the meat at the feast itself but that was hardly a gift. Thor’s voice boomed, causing the glance of most of those gathered to shift in his direction. He couldn’t help it if everything was watching them.

And watching they were as Thor pulled a dagger from his boot and, gripping the single bead he wore under the wild mane of hair on his head, sliced the braid off near the scalp and laid it upon the table.

“I was given this by the one that birthed me before she was killed in the battle that brought ruin to your home. This is a tear of a Valkyrie. It has protected me and I would have you keep it so that you may always be safe.”

Thor was embarrassing and endearing all at once. He was like an over-exuberant puppy with how loudly and clearly he proclaimed every thought that went through his head, and with how generously he gave of himself without considering the consequences. Loki should quietly pull him aside and tell Thor that cutting off his braid would be seen as an act of severe submission, and such a personal gift, with emotional rather than physical value, would be seen potentially as a courting gift.

But he didn't.

He was touched by the gravity of such a thing, and so he allowed it to fall into the palm of his blue-skinned hand, observing it with interest and reverence.

"Thank you, Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard. Such a gift does you much credit and I will wear it with pride."

He fastened it to the end of his own long tail of hair, making the murmurs of the court increase and Helblindi growl in anger like cracking snow.

"Such a selfless sacrifice to one you recently saw as an enemy is proof that you no longer need consider yourself unworthy, I feel the ice of Mjolnir will yield to you when you approach her."

Impulsive and brash, yes those were by far the very best words to use when it came to Thor. He had no idea that he basically asked Loki to court him, and that Loki had accepted. He just knew that he felt better now, for having given something of real worth to Loki, and he knew he meant his own sentiment behind it. Thor had become indebted to Loki very quickly. He’d taught him to be a better person and s better ruler, to care about other people and about the larger picture.

And to gift him that tear turned gem felt right. Like Loki always should have had it.

It did not end would not matter to him that the others thought he had subjugated himself. He had not. Loki taught him that one’s cultural outlook did not hold to be true for those not raised in that culture and he felt no shame for what he had done. And he would not feel shame if anyone explained it either. Aesir also had ideas about what it meant to remove hair.

He was, in essence, offering his strength to Loki. It was a little piece of that storm he tasted on him.

To hear Loki say he believed he might be ready to regain his worth, however, caused Thor to grin. He wanted to leave immediately for the ridge but that would not do. Not during this celebration feast. He pressed a hand to his heart and bowed slightly. “Do not fall too deeply into your cups then. Tomorrow we have much to do.”

Loki was not a fool, he knew that Thor did not intend this to be a courtship gift, but it was important that the Jotnar saw him accept it as if it were. It would give them time to get used to the idea in the months or perhaps years before Thor actually came to care for Loki that way, it would allow them to settle and not see this as the Aesir trying to steal their last Fyri.

It was well that he would be gone in the morning, and Loki would remain, it would reinforce that this was a courtship and not a kidnapping. Even if it was a one-sided courtship at the moment.

"I am not afraid of falling into my own cups."

It was the only mild reproof he gave Thor before he went back to accepting his gifts. He would not truly get drunk, he kept his mind sharp so that he could win the flyting competition held in his honour, and retired to his furs before the night grew too long.

Bylestir followed Thor towards his own rooms, looking oddly tentative for such a large creature. "Odinson-Heir, I would speak with you in private about my eldsibb."

Thor was in a good mood and he whistled as he took himself back to the last night in the guest room. He thought about perhaps seeing if Loki might like another tumble (it was his millennial after all and he ought to have a decent partner to share it with) but he remembered the fyri speak of the way the court would talk. And it might not be the best time to go showing off his bond with the other for the moment.

He glanced up at the tall youngster and nodded at him to tag along.

“You are a constant source of wealth about your brother. What now do you wish to warn me against?” He was just teasing of course.

"I do not wish to warn, I only wish to ask if you really do care for my eldsibb."

Bylestir's crimson eyes held hope and consternation, nothing like the bloodthirsty monsters of legend. He was a child worried about his older brother, for he knew that Loki had a heart and pride that were easily bruised despite pretending otherwise and denying that he would have either.

"That regard gift was well done, but you will shame him before the court if it was not meant truly."

“It was a congratulatory gift,” Thor said, eyebrows shooting up as he all but came to a stop in the middle of the hallway. “Passing the millennial mark is important and needs an important gift to match—. Regard gift—. Bylestir, no.”

The young Jotun looked distraught. “Odinson, you may have done a terrible thing.”

Thor put his hand on the other’s shoulder. “No. Stop fretting. Loki and I are friends and will continue to enjoy a long friendship. As will you and I! You’re reading too deeply into a gift. Tomorrow I shall retrieve Mjolnir and return to Asgard. I will visit, I assure you, if that is what is worrying you.”

"It is not what I read into the gift, it is what Jotunheim reads into the gift. All of the Jarls have travelled for my eldsibb's millennial celebration and they have all seen you give him a regard-gift, and they saw him accept it."

Bylestir was truly upset. If Thor disgraced his elder sibling, Loki would take it so hard and he would be damaged in the eyes of everyone in the court.

"He must have accepted it to save your pride by not refusing in front of all, but think what it will do to his reputation!"

Could that be why? Loki was intelligent, he must know that Thor hadn’t been seeking to court him. And yet... they had laid down together. Enjoyed each other. Could Loki have thought Thor’s intent was true? And had he accepted it as true?

Odin’s beard! They had discussed marriage straight after the act!

Thor wasn’t sure how he felt. He looked at Bylestir as if everything terrible that might have happene was truly happening now. He needed to explain his intent to Loki but now he was in danger of offending everyone!

“Do not worry. Hearts will repair once I am gone,” Thor said quickly and retreated to his room.

He did not sleep. He could not. And the morning showed as much on his face.

Loki had not spent a particularly restful night either. Bylestir had come to see him after he had left Odinson, come to warn him that Thor's heart may not be true and attempt to comfort him. Though Loki loved his youngest sibb tenderly, he had been tempted to rip his throat out for potentially ruining his plans.

He had assured Bylestir that his heart was in no danger and he had accepted merely to save face for Thor, and that he would pass a rumour around in a few months that he had been the one to break off the courtship so that his standing in court would not be too greatly affected. But now he had to worry over what Thor would say.

Loki did not show the lack of sleep on his face, he looked as put together as ever when he approached Thor and bade him follow to the ridge where Mjolnir rested. "You must be eager to return to your home."

“Uh…Aye,” Thor said with his hands on his hips, nodding as if he had been asked too many questions all at once. “Yes, yes I suppose I am. It will be good to sleep in my own…uh…bed. And to try to put my lessons to good use. On Asgard.” He scratched at his beard as if he wanted to be doing anything other than having this ridiculous conversation, but here they were. He couldn’t escape it.

Loki would be accompanying him back to the craggy mountain, back through the place where he’d first realized how ill equipped he was to go on this journey, but Thor did not dread riding back up that way so much as the company he would be attending.

How did he manage this without offending anyone? And why did it suddenly matter to him that he didn’t hurt Loki? Thor assumed it was attached to being a good prince.

“Sooo… Heard you did well in the flyting competition?”

Loki rolled his eyes at this blatant awkwardness, Thor was not a master at conversation and it was unlikely that he ever would be. He would need to learn, however, that he had to have some skill at hiding his feelings if he were ever to be an effective King in the future.

"I did, yes, thank you."

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if he should be cruel and allow Thor to try and find the words himself, or if he should be kind and put him out of his misery. In the end, he decided to be cruel and simply smiled, gesturing for Thor to follow him towards the ridge.

Breakfast was awkward. Thor’s farewells to the royal family were awkward. Their departure from the tower was awkward. Riding with Loki was awkward-- Thor was mostly quiet or boasting, making a terrible arse of himself the entire morning and afternoon until they paused just north of where he’d first been attacked for a meal.

Thor did not care to bring anything up, but he was brimming with concern over a lost friendship and a missed opporunity and so he simply had to clear the air.

“Your brother tells me that my gift yesterday was a traditional courtship gift.” At least when he decided to jump into it, it was feet first. “I am afraid that I have managed to derail our Realms by gifting you my birth mother’s tear.”

Loki almost felt sorry for Thor and the way that he suffered so; it was good that he suffered, at least, it meant that he was concerned for Loki and at least held some care for him even if he did not think of them as a good match yet. That would come in time, and Bylestir's foolish words could be mitigated now.

"You think too much of your own abilities," Loki chided, though with a small smile. "I was aware that the gift was no regard gift. You have made your feelings clear, you intend only to marry when you have taken the throne, and to get your barns on many women, you and I would not make a good match. When I take a consort, he will be mine and no other's. I did not wish for you to lose face before the court, your position is precarious, and so I accepted your gift."

One he did not intend to give back even if it might be more appropriate.

"I shall allow a rumour to circulate that the courtship has failed in a few weeks, I will lose only a small amount of standing and I am more than capable of recouping that sort of loss. I have shamed myself more with childish jests, do not be afraid for that."

Relief came over Thor’s face all too quickly and a smile replaced the careful frown he had been wearing. “Good.. Your brother seemed to think that I might have cause an undo slight to you and that was not my intention at all. The gift was and is meant to remind you of me, and when we meet again, I hope our friendship will remain…?”

Bylestir had absolutely derailed part of what Loki had been hoping to do, and Thor was not aware enough of himself to know that Loki was mocking his ways. He still did believe that he would have many children, and since the talk in the pool, he wasn’t sure he wanted to have a queen at all. He could keep all of his children close, or with their mothers. Romantic liasons were a weakness anyway. One that Thor did not intend to let rule him.

He ate heartily, moving onto other topics that did not include relationships of any sort. He told Loki of what he intended to do when he was home, of the hunting he would do and the relief he planned to send to the people of this Realm. It was all very relaxed, thankfully.

No beasts came to tempt themselves on Thor’s flesh and by the evening, they arrived at the hammer, half buried in the snow and ice. Thor’s eyes lit up and he strode forward, intent to pull Mjolnir free.

Bylestir may have set his plans back, but Loki trusted that they would not be ruined. This next part of the plan would be the most dangerous, for he had to place his trust in Thor's nature and the way that Loki believed it would go. He thought that absence would provide a greater affection, that Thor would find none on Asgard could fill that same place, and would think on their liaison together as one he wished to repeat.

It may take months, or even years, but he had hope that Thor would return to him with amorous intent. He need only be patient, and he intended to make good on exploring other realms in the meantime.

"I trust we will see each other again, Thor Odinson, but I have a request. You cannot return the Casket, I know you do not have that authority, but you must have the Ways unblocked for us. We need to trade, and we must have a presence in the other realms to undo the damage that these stories have spread. Will you see to it?"

Lucky for Thor, Mjolnir would heed his grip, thanks to the words of Odin who had said that when Loki deemed him worthy of trying once more, then the hammer would yield to his grip once more.

“We will see to the opening of trade together,” Thor promised, for while he did long for his home, he would not abandon his friendship here. He might revel in the warmth for a time but then he would be right back to work. Thor did well with a purpose. It gave him a greater quality of life instead of just being a marauding prince traveling around Asgard doing whatever he liked.

The moment Thor touched the hammer, lightning arced from his body to ground itself in the snow around him. A long, purple streak reached from sky to the top of the hammer and Thor’s full battle regalia materialized across his body. The smug smirk he’d carried when he first came was replaced with a smile as he stepped away from the crater left by the regaining of his power.

He held his hand out to Loki, to take his forearm in his hand. “We will see one another shortly.” When enough time had lapsed so that their ‘courtship’ might be ended. “Thank you for all you have done, my friend.”

The storm was bright and brilliant, if only for the moment or two it lasted, and Loki felt it shudder through him as though he were riding the tails of that lightning. Oh, how he wanted so much to unleash Thor's true power and harness it for himself, how he deeply desired to use that magic himself.

He nearly reached out to taste, to see if he could feel the electricity on his lips, but he restrained himself and instead gripped Thor's forearm in return with a sudden and brilliant smile.

Very little time passed after that before the Bifrost opened and Thor would find himself home once more, Frigga in the Observatory with Heimdall to see her son returning, a fond smile on her lips as she drew him into an embrace. "Thor, you look well, I knew that you would find the worth inside you again. Come, you must tell me all."

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