fossilised | Jotunheimr

Jotunheimr

Thor Odinson was not ready to be King.

That much had become suddenly and sharply clear to Odin All-Father, a sharp pain that he would rather not have had. He had been blinded too long by love for his only heir, seeing only his affable way of gaining friends and his strength on the battlefield, but ignoring how he had become spoiled and arrogant. He had glossed over the reports from Thor's tutors that his son had not studied the other realms or the duties of a King as he should, and had instead spent much of his youth carousing with his favoured companions, hunting or getting into trouble together.

But this... this was beyond a childish scrape.

Egged on by his friends, or so it had come out since the act, Thor had decided to go to Jotunheim - a forbidden act - for the sole purpose of finding one of its inhabitants and slaying it. A proof of his mettle as a warrior, to kill one of the fearsome giants, the monsters of the icy realm. He felt ashamed, sick at heart that his only son could be so ignorant as to think that any race were just monsters. He might have hoped these were just rantings, but he saw preparations begin to take place and he knew that they meant to commit treason by disobeying his orders of no contact with Jotunheim and perhaps start another war.

Arrangements were hastily made, pushed through Frigga who had more goodwill remaining to her among the Giants, and when Thor arrived at the Bifrost, he would find Odin standing by the great sword rather than Heimdall, his one eye forbidding.

"Why are you so eager to seek out war, my son?"

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Loki would have preferred to travel by the more expedient method, he didn't quite understand why the mortals insisted on using their crafts when it added so much time. A tiny amount of time for him, but for a species so short lived as humans, he would have thought that efficiency would be everything.

"There will be much that other versions of you know that you do not, and much that you know that they do not. Some will be so close as to seem indistinguishable, the changes as small as the choice of clothing, and some will be worlds apart from anything you have known."

He would be fascinated to explore it himself, though he was slightly more wary of the risks.

"I would assume that this message came from one not too different from our own, or else such a warning would likely be pointless."

“But then why be vague?” Tony would have done so much better if Bruce penned himself a letter that made sense. As much as he liked puzzles, and he really did like them, this was borderline crazy. “Why not just spell out exactly what I’m supposed to do?”

Tony’s eyes turned towards Bruce as if he could come up with the answer on his own. The guy was as confused as he was, but he’d made the journey here instead of dismissing the warning out of hand. Dark eyes searched Bruce’s face as if he was looking for confiscared drugs, vission narrowed in a squint. It was all together uncomfortable.

Bruce was a hider. He was a runner. He wasn’t good at being a bug under glass. The voice in the back of his head told him that, but Tony listened to no one. Not even himself.

"Perhaps he was unable to, though for what reason I do not know."

Loki also turned her eyes to Bruce, sharp and green and penetrating, making the smaller man shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. He did want the help of the people here, and meeting an actual god or alien was amazing, but this was really not good for his stress levels.

"Reminder," he said, voice still light and easy. "This isn't actually me, I'm the one as confused as you. I'd appreciate if you could ask on, uh, Vanaheim, though. Is that somewhere we could come with you?"

Loki raised an eyebrow at the tamed monster. "Midgardians do not have free travel rights across the realms yet, to take you to Vanaheim would be unwise."

“So... do we need some intergalactic passports? Background checks? You can’t say that your fiancé is going to protect the world and then not let us visit alien planets. That’s cruel.” Tony wasn’t going to let this go. Not after Banner mentioned it. “And aren’t I your Guide? Doesn’t that mean something?”

Tony could pout and be petulant like the best of them. And often was.

He put the flight plan in, set JARVIS up for autopilot and turned around so that he could give Loki his best impression of his mother. The woman could guilt him in a second. It was a true skill.

Loki was not so easily guilted, he had long ago perfected the art of lying to even those who were the closest to him and not feeling even a twinge of regret. He did what he needed to in order to further his goals, and taking mortals to Vanaheim would likely not do that.

"It means that you guide me in matters relating to Midgard and its culture, you would be useless as a guide on Vanaheim. I will not risk the wrath of the All-Father for such a thing, it would be folly."

Bruce nodded, regret in his eyes even as he backed up Loki. "He... She's right. I don't think me going to a whole other world is a good idea, it sounds kind of stressful."

“Neither of you are any fun.” And now Tony was going to have to devise a way to spy on the things Loki does to try and figure out a way to do it himself. He could so easily set up a series of scans to test for all sorts of data. Plus, he already had the equipment in place already for it. When Loki decided to pop out of existence again, he’d see what changes to the atmosphere happened, if any laws of physics were broken and what particles were emitted. It could take him years to replicate but that was a pretty good way to spend them.

Maybe Banner would even stick around and help? It might be fun to have another smart guy to bounce ideas off of.

Tony leaned back against the panel, elbow perilously close to the joystick. He wasn’t going to crash them, of course, but he was also careless.

“Could you let us know what you find out? If some version of Banner went to a lot of trouble to do this, it’s gotta be pretty big”

"Naturally, I would not offer to go to Vanaheim if my intention was not to discover more about your plight and return to you with that information."

But now that this involves magic and other dimensions, Loki definitely wants to be at the front and centre of it. He probably could risk taking at least one of the mortals with him, because this concerned him and his life, but he wants to be the one holding all the cards.

"I may have time to stop at the Free Markets while I await an audience with the seidr users, is there anything you wish for me to buy?"

Hopefully Tony wouldn't come up with something too outlandish.

Carte blanch was a very dangerous thing to give to Tony. Eyes as wide as saucers, he couldn’t help but grin at Loki as if he was moments from catching the canary out of its cage. “You know what I’d like? Something I can tinker with. A piece of metal not found on Earth, some piece of technology-- Your choice.” See? He wasn’t too crazy, right? Even if giving an inventor like Tony a piece of alien technology was Not A Good Idea.

Not at all.

“Not some child’s toy either, just because you’d think I’d be amusing to watch play with. We might not live as long as you, but I’m still smarter than your fifth graders.”

Potentially.

Of all the wonders in the universe, Tony Stark chose to ask for something technological. It was endearing and it made him think, once again, how akin to the dwarves that mortals were. They valued progress and the intricacy of the designs they made over all else, the pursuit of wealth was a large factor in their society, perhaps it would be well to introduce the two cultures when more solid agreements had been put in place.

"Your idea of intelligence is limited, my friend, but I shall bring you what you desire as well as the answers you seek, if such answers can be found on Vanaheim."

He reached out and lightly brushed Tony's forearm with his fingertips, a gesture of affection.

"While I am gone, your tame beast and you can find a creature worth hunting and presenting to Thor."

The idea of Bruce being his tamed beast should not be so amusing, but Tony couldn’t help but not, an odd little smile on his lips. “You’ve got it.” He was expecting the princess to pop out of existance right in front of him, and wo while Bruce had his little outburst of surprise, Tony just turned back to the control panel as if everything was normal and good.

Trying to find some sort of creature for Loki to bag for her future husband, though, was going to take some time. He could always clone a mammoth-- But regulatory boards were getting harder and harder to bypass these days.

Better not risk it.

He hadn’t forgotten that Bruce was there, exactly, but his mind had moved onto other things. Banner could have his little what even is my life moment and that could be that for now. They’d reconvene in a moment.

“Blue whales are a proected species, aren’t they?” Tony mused.

“They are, sir,” JARVIS responded. “Do not suggest that Princess Loki hunt a whale, please. The red tape would give Ms. Potts endless headaches.”

“And we don’t want that…” Tony murmured, as if he wasn’t so sure.

A tiny part of Bruce couldn't help but wonder if he had somehow hit his head and this was all one long fever dream brought on by the resulting traumatic wound. Aliens, gods, and teleporting... not to mention other realities and a man who seemed like he didn't think any of this was weird.

"No."

He looked up, surprised at even his own voice, apparently joining in the conversation before his brain even caught up to what he had been listening to.

"Hunting animals for sport isn't right, and we shouldn't be encouraging anyone, even a foreign ruler, to engage in that sort of thing here. We can look for other types of gifts, more traditional and less destructive types."

“Excuse you and your white privilege,” Tony said, though he knew he was misusing the term here. He mostly just wanted to feel the other man’s annoyed disapproval. That excited him. Banner was a little like Rhodey and a little like Pepper. He would follow along, but still keep his own mind and be willing to stick his hand in the fire to pull Tony back from it.

It wasn’t often that Tony made friends, but when he did, he latched on. He really needed to latch onto Bruce too. The guy was literally famous for disappearing.

“Technically, Loki doesn’t want already dead things. But I’ve got a feeling that Asgard and the Vikings are pretty similar. Didn’t they use to make a lot of crap out of bones and tusks? I’ll buy some dinosaurs. JARVIS, see what we can offer the National History Museum for the T-Rex.”

"Sir, it's usually illegal to procure artifacts of that type of historical significance, and I doubt they would be for sale even if it weren't."

That was JARVIS, subtly siding with Dr. Banner. As an AI he wasn't supposed to have emotions or independent thought, that was technically impossible, but it didn't stop it from happening. Perhaps it was just sophisticated programming, but JARVIS liked Dr. Banner already and had a feeling he might be a steadying influence on an otherwise incredibly unsteady master.

Bruce nodded along, twisting his hands into knots on his lap, working on deep breathing to keep this situation from getting the better of him.

"I was thinking more like a rare book, or a piece of art, something not so illegal or bloodthirsty."

“A piece of art. For Thor.” Now it was Tony’s turn to laugh because the idea of Thor and a book was laughable. “Think hammer, think luxurious hair, think marauding and raiding villages. Don’t think of yourself.” Note that Tony did not put himself in that boat either. Books were fine. Very good as arm rests or to keep a hot plate from your crotch if eating on the couch.

He really wanted to do Loki a solid here. He liked the princess, she was an amusingly colorful part of his existence lately and though Tony would never consider himself a collector of anything, the guy had anything he wanted.

It made the rest of life a little boring.

Hence blue princesses and sometimes green scientists were in his expanded social circles.

"Well you can't just go about hunting animals for sport."

Bruce might turn into a big green killer sometimes, but he was passionately opposed to that sort of thing usually. Perhaps more so than he would have been otherwise, almost like a desperate need to make up for his violent nature however he could.

"What about a piece of tanned hide? People who kill and butcher animals for the meat trade sometimes keep the hides and have them tanned."

That, at least, would be more ethical.

“You can never be my date for a wedding,” Tony complained. Honestly. A tanned hide? He didn’t think Loki would go for it unless she killed it herself. “Are there dinosaur skin hides I don’t know about?” Actually, he really didn’t know. His pop culture might be spot on but the collection of dinosaur skins wasn’t exactly up there with the rest.

He leaned back and turned the seat around to face Banner before he really looked at him.

“How have you been doing this? It’s been... what? Seven years since Harlem?” Tony wasn’t known for tiptoeing. “Massive bag of weed? Giant bongo drums? Do you juice cleans?”

Bruce folded his arms and gave Tony an unimpressed sort of look, he really didn't enjoy talking about the Other Guy and he was only here because he thought it was truly necessary to solve the mystery of the note. Nothing to do with the Hulk, and he hoped to never let him out again.

"I'm careful."

That wasn't the exact truth, but they didn't know each other nearly well enough for him to be more specific about the relationship between him and the Other Guy.

"Can we not talk about Harlem? It's not exactly a topic that I enjoy."

“I think it’s a good idea to at least discuss your meditation techniques or something. The last person we knew that messed with time turned to dust. I’m not saying it’s where we’re headed, but I have to know that you’re all right with the potential.” If Tony wanted knowledge, he usually took it. He didn’t ask permission. He didn’t need the details about what the Hulk was or what he could do. He just needed the Banner side of the equation. And he needed to make sure that there stayed a Banner side for this.

True. There was no doubt that meeting the Hulk would be super awesome.

He just wasn’t prepared at the moment for that to happen.

“And I want to make sure Loki doesn’t intend to hint you. Green’s her color.” The easy mirth, the shine of his eyes, everything said that Tony was trying to make friends.

Bruce had no problem with making friends... actually, that was a total lie, he had every problem with making friends. He liked to be amiable and polite, but also to be forgettable and leave no real impression behind. Actual friends cared, they got too close, and people that got too close to him got hurt.

It was why he gave Tony a polite smile in return, perfectly pleasant but without that earnest mirth behind it, more of a sadness instead. Tony seemed nice, intelligent, but he just couldn't have friends.

"I'll make sure to remember that, no Hulk where the alien goddess can see. Wow... is that a sentence I just said?"

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