fossilised | it's a new plot!

James wasn't going to force Tony to give up drinking, or not to take up another substance in its place; choice was such an important thing to him, that he would be a massive hypocrite if he took that choice away from someone else even if they were self destructing in doing it.

"I'd be here for the withdrawals, and I can help when it gets too loud."

The offer was tentatively made. He knew that he didn't exactly have a reputation of being reliably around, and that he was asking Tony to do something incredibly hard in stopping drinking altogether and put a hell of a lot of trust into James to be able to help in a healthier way.

"I want to. I care about you, I don't want you lose you."

At least one of the benefits of the Soldier, if there could be called any benefits to it, was that he didn't have an emotional filter. Nothing that told him to be ashamed about just spilling his sentiment everywhere.

Pepper had cared about him too but look where that got him. He’d gotten sober for her and instead, taken to constantly building new and more complex suits of armor. She left him for that, in the end, and much more quickly than she would have done with the drinking. She could be around him when he drank. He was pleasant. Frisky. Affectionate. The alcohol was actually doable in the end where the other options were not. And Tony wondered if James was just going to find that out too and go.

There were no whispers now to correct or confirm his theories. They had died away, little buzzes like the radio connected to a loudspeaker left on. Easily ignored.

Tony reached up to wrap his finger two fingers around Bucky’s metal wrist before his hand, with gravity’s help, moved those fingers downward to stop at the junction of his elbow, where they rested.

“All right. No drinking. But only if you’re here to stop it when it’s too loud. All promises are null and void if you skip out on me,” Tony said.

That seemed like a fair arrangement to him, he couldn't expect Tony to be strong and hold up his end of the agreement if James didn't hold up his end too. So he nodded, and then leaned forwards and, perfectly naturally without any self consciousness, kissed Tony on the forehead.

"I'm going to stay in the locked levels, I don't want anyone else to know that I'm here."

"Those levels are the top six floors of the Tower," FRIDAY put in helpfully, deciding that her master might need her input in order to not wreck this. "Might I suggest, Boss, setting aside a room for Sergeant Barnes--"

"--James."

"--for James' personal use, as well as a budget to decorate and acquire new clothing?"

Closed eyes opened immediately, not because Tony was uncomfortable or confused, but because the Soldier used to kiss his forehead sometimes, and then pull back stiffly as if confused for what he’d done. There was not any of that herky-jerky movement today. James had kissed him and then moved back again to continue to rub his scalp. The whole moment had come and gone in a second and Tony wasn’t sure it had happened when it ended.

He watched James for a moment, one eyebrow lifted, until he spoke again.

“Good. Me and you upstairs. Insanity downstairs.” And luckily, Banner’s room was on the ninth floor where the rest of the Avengers used to live before they all transferred to the compound upstate. That would keep everyone separated nicely. “Uh-- No budget, give him access to the guest account. No WMDs, all right? Restrict all weapons purchase-- Not that I don’t trust you, Jim…but I’m out of the weapons business and I don’t need old contacts popping up because you’re window shopping.”

There were some things about his old life that he really didn’t like, after all.

He stayed snuggled up to his old Nanny for another hour or so before he went to shower and change for dinner. He picked up the order himself, smirking at the delivery boy who was freaking out, gave him a large tip, and shut the door in his face. He had all of Bruce’s favorites, spiced the way he liked them, when he knocked on Banner’s (fortunately) opaque door. “Yo Banner. Or Hulk. Hopefully Banner. I didn’t bring enough to eat for the other guy.”

James made sure to make Tony aware that he was to be James and not Jim, he had chosen that name specifically and he had enough troubles with his own identity to accept nicknames at the moment. Maybe it went against what Tony's natural instincts were regarding naming other people random things, but he asked that this was respected.

Only after Tony had left did he let FRIDAY direct him to the suite of rooms that was to be his and begin, with her help, to work out how to customise them. Make them personal, make them his.

Bruce was still reeling from the oddness of the last few days when Tony arrived, but at least he was dressed in his own clothes again and had damp curls around his face when he answered the door.

"Hey-- wow, that smells good, I feel like I haven't eaten in months. Come in, sit down, let's talk."

“This is going to be incredibly one sided since you don’t remember anything,” Tony said, moving around Bruce with the practice of a master who was used to avoiding having to touch people. That was nothing against Banner, Tony just did it naturally. He knew the way to the kitchenette, most of the rooms on this level were laid out exactly the same and though it might seem like the Avengers ate all together in a big room, they were all loners, all of different schedules, and so they all had their own kitchens even if they could access Tony’s when he didn’t lock them out of the penthouse. “I don’t think that’s a very fair exchange.”

He set the bags down on the table and pulled out the to-go containers one by one, popping open the lids to lay out a mini buffet across the center of the table.

“Nine spoons. And plates and forks,” Tony directed, since technically this was all his space, and set the tin foil wrapped naan closer to Bruce since he knew, somehow, that the other man preferred bread to rice with his dishes. Tony was the opposite.

When they sat together, Tony was at least looking better. The little whispers were still tucked away, not even buzzing, and the alcohol’s effects had diminished. He piled his plate high with biryani and tikka masala before he tipped the serving spoon in the paneer towards Bruce. It was his favorite, after all.

“Where do you want to start? Don’t say the beginning. We’ve done that already. You fell asleep.”

"We've been through that, I had just come off a really long flight and it wasn't that I was disinterested, I was just-- sleepy. But no, maybe not the beginning, that's probably a little bit too far back."

He immediately dug in there, scooping out huge amounts of curry onto soft and fragrant naan bread, before shoving it into his mouth. He at least waited until he wouldn't be spitting food at Tony before he spoke again.

"I want to know what's happened here in the last few years. Why you say you're retired, what are the Accords, why the team is just now getting back together, and if you're planning on joining in?"

Tony didn’t look up. He was too busy keeping his food separated with walls of rice. He actually didn’t need to do that, it wasn’t one of his many flukes of character, but the telling of his actions over the last few years was difficult. It started off so well intentioned, but Ultron had too. “We saved the world after I almost destroyed it, but we killed a lot of people doing it. As usual, I didn’t take the blame. I put it on everyone’s shoulders. The world was angry. Not really America, we saved America, and I put a relief fund in place to help out whenever the Avengers went on a crusade, but Jesus, Banner. Sometimes I was pretty sure it wasn’t worth it. So when the world called for regulation, called out for someone to protect them from people like us, I jumped on board. The Accords were supposed to put oversight on the group, with a way to expand legislation to eventually call for registering everyone conducting vigilante justice. Like having people get gun permits and drivers licenses, you know? It just went too far. Rogers refused to join. His old best pal came out of the woodworks and was immediately blamed for being a terrorist… Real long story short, we stopped getting along, me and my dad’s favorite son. He changed my mind, and then something came up and… I wasn’t in a good place. He tried to protect his friend. I tried to kill his friend. And then for a few minutes I was pretty sure we were trying to kill each other. So he left with half of the gang. I came home. Pep came back for a little while-- Did I tell you she left me? No? Okay, well she left me. But then she came back. I figured that if I put a ring on it, she’d stay. Beyonce did me wrong, Banner. So wrong.”

He finally took a bite, fork loaded with cream sauce and rice. He chewed on a forkful of chicken after that, delicately, letting Banner absorb everything he said.

“Uh, what else? Well you know the part about me looking for you. But when you’re not on the planet I guess that’s less of a blow to my ego. Uh… I thought pretty hard about getting rid of the Tower and moving into HQ, but after Pepper left, I decided that wasn’t worth it anymore. Uh.. Oh, Rhodey’s crippled. Vision did it accidentally. I mean, I really Jesus’d him up, he’s walking pretty good now, but his spine is pretty much toast. Not a fun few weeks. Clint had another kid because evidently that’s what people in Iowa do. Oh, and I found out that my dad was HYDRA. I think that covers everything.”

Except for James. But James was an off limit topic.

Wow.

Okay, that was a lot to take in, and Tony told it in a surprisingly coherent way. He could see how something like legislation could easily get out of hand, and he doesn't think that it would be helpful to say that he probably would have sided with Steve and refused to sign. He would never give the Hulk's power over to someone else to control, it was far too dangerous for that.

He sat in silence for a few minutes and chewed as he processed, before deciding which bit of that to address first. Maybe the most personal, since it was obviously what would be hurting Tony the most.

"I'm sorry about your Dad," he said. Surprised, too, though he didn't say that. "I know that you looked up to him, despite the relationship that you had, and it can't have been easy finding out that he was HYDRA. Is that another reason that you've stayed away? Have people been giving you a hard time about your father's loyalties?"

“I’d like you to keep it between us, actually.” He did not worry about his reputation so much as he did about the state of his company. He employed thousands of people and while he might be able to work Stark Industries off of his own funds for awhile, people would have to go. He’d likely never be trusted again and the audits people might do on him could turn up the Soldier’s role in his growing up, and he wanted that a secret too. “I haven’t told anyone.”

And that wasn’t a lie. James told him. Banner was the first person he’d come clean to since finding out about that little gem.

“It’s all right if you don’t trust me. HYDRA stopped trusting dad along the way too. They had him killed. My mom too. The Winter Soldier did it so… Well I got pissed off at that before I understood the whys and the hows. But that’s over now. I got Rogers pulled off of the traitor list so… He’s probably back. Or will be. I uh… Things aren’t really great between us. Worse than they usually are. Were.” He set his fork down and looked up, the sadness there something he had trouble controlling. If he knew my dad was… I don’t think that I want him to ever find out. How’s the paneer and the curry?”

"I trust you."

That was the first thing that needed to be said, before anything else. Bruce wasn't exactly a shining example of emotional maturity sometimes, but he was more mature than Tony and it was odd how such an intelligent man could come across like such a child sometimes. So desperate for approval, and so transparently attached to people he claimed not to be.

Bruce always saw through him.

"I never stopped trusting you, even after Ultron, that's not why I left. And I bet it's why Steve wants you back. Because you tried to do the right thing, and I'll always trust a man who wants to try and do that. Even if the execution went wrong, the intention was good."

Now, that said, he could move onto the other points.

"I won't tell anyone about your father, but I would wager that the others would be understanding if you trusted them with it. As for the Winter Soldier, if he was a victim and you were mistaken, well... that's an easy mistake to make considering what you found out. I bet he and Steve would both forgive you."

Two people in one night said that they trusted him. To anyone else, it would be a given and something to shrug off. So, outwardly, Tony did. Inside, it settled warmly in his chest. Dinner turned into something that felt real, like more than just Indian take-out between two friends at a tiny table.

Gotta run back real quick or they’ll catch you. Christ. It had been so quiet that Tony forgot about the peanut gallery. Kiss him in the stairwell.

Well that made Tony pick up his fork again real fast and he noisily shoveled too much food into his mouth, eyes downcast. Bruce would probably think he was embarrassed. And he was. But for a very different reason. Unfortunately, silence wasn’t really a sustainable thing between them and after another shrug and some water, Tony continued. “Of course he’ll forgive me.” Steve, he meant. James was a different story, they had history. “That’s what he does. If there’s any way to respond to a situation perfectly, Rogers’ got it in hand. I don’t need him to forgive him. I’m not sorry about what I did… But I didn’t want him to have to go. I don’t really want anyone to go, but you’re all adults. You have your own choices to make.”

Tony tapped the back of his fork against his plate.

“Why did you leave anyway?”

"It's complicated."

Bruce's expression shifted into something guiltier, something sadder, and he set down his fork for now. He was still hungry, but it felt disrespectful to be talking about Natasha and the wrong that he had done to her while stuffing food into his mouth.

"Natasha and I-- I cared for her and I think she started to care for me too, it was too dangerous. I saw what I could do again in Sokovia, and I had to go. I didn't exactly mean for it to be for two years or into space, I just wanted to get my head together before we spoke again."

And they'd have to speak now that he was back. God only knew what he'd say to her, it tore him up inside to know how much he must have hurt her.

Tony didn’t have that small piece of information about how Natasha had chosen the Hulk over Banner, so he could just shake his head at Bruce, judging him just a little. “It’s always about a girl,” he said, feeling a pang of jealous that he venomously pushed away. He was not jealous. He didn’t like where the whispers were goading him into feeling right now either, and he told them internally to shut the hell up because he was having a nice night out with another adult, not some childish, taunting whispers that seemed poised to ruin his evening.

Tony wiped his mouth and shrugged.

“Told Rogers I’d meet him back at HQ tomorrow. So you have a few hours to figure out what to say to Romanoff. Can’t help you with that one, buddy. I’m stepping back from relationship advice. I’m bad at it myself.” Not that Bruce asked him. And not that Tony wouldn’t give him advice anyway. “Maybe you’ll be in luck and she aged really horribly since the last time you saw her?” That was pretty telling, wasn’t it? Tony had kept away from the team for a long time.

Bruce didn't want to hand over that small, but crucial, piece of the puzzle to anyone. Not even Tony. He did trust the other man, but Tony was a man of impetuous emotion and he would likely make an enemy of Natasha for that perceived betrayal. It still hurt him to think about, though he understood why she had done it, but he had known then that they couldn't ever be together the way they had talked about.

He swallowed hard, eyes sad, before he forced a small smile to his lips and started to eat once more. He would focus on one thing at a time, and that thing right now was Tony.

"I'm glad you said that you'd go tomorrow. You were what convinced me to join the Avengers, I don't think I could be in the team if you weren't there."

“If I don’t go, he’s coming here,” Tony grunted. He wasn’t hungry anymore, even though he’d barely eaten. What he wanted was something to drink to soothe the pulse of jealousy in his skull, but he promised not to just three hours ago. He wasn’t s great man. But he really shouldn’t go back on his word already. Not when James needed him to make up the other half of his so called humanity. He was barking up the wrong tree on that one, too. Tony was too removed for humanity to let himself be that again.

It would take a lot of convincing for him to believe otherwise.

“At least I can leave there any time I want,” Tony pointed out. “But I can’t... I don’t know if I’m coming out of retirement. I can help out, but I have some other responsibilities to work on first. And let’s face it. Stuff always ran smoother when I just came in for support. Let the kids take it from here.”

"I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do, your life should be your own to do what you want with, but-- I can't deny that this worries me. I know you, Tony, and the thrill of the Iron Man suit, being part of that team, it's important to you."

He set down his fork and gave Tony a knowing look.

"I don't want to see you make a recluse of yourself, with only your guilt and demons for company. Trust me, I've tried it, it's not fun. I know you've made mistakes, but we all have, isn't the Avengers partially about making up for that?"

“Probably, in a way yes, but it’s also important to know when to step aside and hand over the torch. Dropping everything to get up and go cost me Pepper. I know this probably sounds shallow, but she stayed with me for seven years, even before I knew her actual first name when she was just getting me coffee. I don’t have that anymore and that sucks, okay, I said it. It sucks a lot more than I thought it was going to suck. I get the doing it for the greater good thing but I want to have.... something. More.”

Fat chance of that since he was certifiably crazy and no one but James and Pepper had ever known about the voices. Pepper thought it was just the price of genius.

He wasn’t rain man, this was better, but it could still be debilitating.

No. Not could. Was.

“More people join this team all the time. It’s like the revolving doors of Menudo. I don’t know them. I don’t want to know them. I like being Iron Man, don’t get me wrong. Everything I said about me and the armor being one? That stands. But I don’t trust other people with me. I want to only be responsible for myself. No more getting people hurt when I fuck up.”

That was a philosophy that Bruce understood. His was a life of not wanting to have responsibility for others because of how dangerous he could be, and how unreliable that could make him when it came to needing to being around. So he couldn't condemn Tony's want to be solitary too much, though he worried about it a lot.

"Alright, so what are you doing with your time, if not the Avengers?"

He hoped that this meant that Tony had thrown his all into his business. He could do such good if he just tried. Stark Industries, if Tony took it in that direction, could provide clean water and energy, could advance the technology of bionic limbs for amputees, could do so much that other companies couldn't because of the genius at its heart.

“I have a billion dollar tech company with my name on it, Banner.” Tony wasn’t pulling punches here and he was not going to talk about James. Not even to someone with whom he just inadvertently had a take out version of a first date with a future husband’s double. He liked Bruce. He really did. But James came back, after decades, came back and still trusted him.

And Tony wasn’t going to let that go.

“Don’t base your plans on me, please. The world needs you. Don’t go back to Asgard. Or some other place. Don’t be best friends with Thor.” He wasn’t even being jealous here, but he was pleading. “I could use you being around.”

James’ conversations with him were always about not pushing people away. He meant Steve but tony thought Steve to be a lost cause here. Banner was not.

Banner had come back too, after all.

Bruce just thought for a few moments on how best to phrase his response, because he did need to tell Tony why that couldn't be, but he needed to do it in a way that conveyed just how much what the other man had done for him meant.

"Ever since I did this to myself everyone has been afraid of me. I can't blame them, it's natural, but even the kindest of people have had that fear behind their eyes. You never did. You were the one that convinced me that not only my ability with gamma rays was needed, but also that I could "stand tall" and be of help in other ways. Without you, Tony, there would be no Hulk in the Avengers, and I don't know if I could continue on without that."

He said it kindly, he wasn't attempting to guilt Tony if he really had made up his mind o be a businessman rather than a superhero, but it was the truth and it needed to be said.

“What’s the plan then?” Maybe it was too soon to ask that, though. Bruce had been the Hulk for a long time. He had no idea what happened since he was gone. And the whole thing with the Avengers was rocky to begin with. “Join the jet set? Travel the world?” The thought was amusing. Bruce Banner in white suits traveling around touring countries and drinking fine wines by the pool. That had been Tony’s life, off and on. “Might be relaxing.”

He just wanted to hold onto something. James gave him his taste back for friendship and had made him realize how desperate he had been for it.

“Or if you want academic stimulation, we could work together on something. Collaborate. No more murder bot babies, I promise,” he said, trying to come off as being nonchalant when really he was desperate for Bruce to agree.

Even if they only saw each other on occasion, it was better than not seeing each other at all.

“You don’t have to go back to being a doctor in the middle of nowhere, Banner. It was cute for half a decade. But we need you.”

Bruce hummed without giving any promises either way, he didn't particularly want to run off back to the middle of nowhere, but he knew that sometimes life was full of having to do things that he would rather not do for the sake of the greater good. If the Hulk was in danger of taking control for good, then he might have to make an effort to be isolated and calm to stop that from happening.

"How about we both go to this meeting tomorrow and then make our decisions? We might find that Steve is hard to say no to and we both end up back on the team again."

He suspected that might happen. Tony was the sort of person who could be won over with genuine friendship and, no matter how much he claimed to hate Steve, he cared and the other man was definitely genuine.

"Can we make a deal on that?"

With an annoyed look, and a roll of his eyes, Tony loudly banged his elbow on the table and extended his pinkie towards Bruce. He saw that little smile of him and found himself thinking about standing on a beach with him, making that same smile, with a porthole of some machine between them. He had no context for it and so the not quite memory (daydream then) was wholly pleasant.

“Pinkie swear. Meeting tomorrow and then we can both tell Rogers to fuck off because we have important science to do.” Tony couldn’t exactly order Bruce around but he could be domineering and brattish and he wasn’t going to apologize for that.

Leaving James alone for an entire day might not be a great idea, but he had decorating to do and he didn’t need Tony around him constantly. The guy probably was desperate to have a little alone time anyway.

That didn’t exactly make him feel great about Loki wandering around though. At least the thought of him didn’t trigger the voices back in that direction.

Bruce had no idea as to the added stresses that went on inside Tony's head, he never could have imagined that his friend had the voices of thousands of lifetimes whispering to him almost constantly. He would have been exceptionally worried if he had, and tried to convince Tony to go to seek professional help, because voices were never a good sign.

He had no idea that James Barnes was here either, and it was probably for the best because he wasn't as good at lying as Tony and probably wouldn't have been able to hide it from Steve tomorrow. He set his elbow down on the table and held out his own pinkie, but didn't take Tony's yet.

"No, we pinkie swear to go and give the meeting a fair hearing. We don't make up our minds before we hear everything that's been said."

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