fossilised | it's a new plot!

Bruce had no idea as to the added stresses that went on inside Tony's head, he never could have imagined that his friend had the voices of thousands of lifetimes whispering to him almost constantly. He would have been exceptionally worried if he had, and tried to convince Tony to go to seek professional help, because voices were never a good sign.

He had no idea that James Barnes was here either, and it was probably for the best because he wasn't as good at lying as Tony and probably wouldn't have been able to hide it from Steve tomorrow. He set his elbow down on the table and held out his own pinkie, but didn't take Tony's yet.

"No, we pinkie swear to go and give the meeting a fair hearing. We don't make up our minds before we hear everything that's been said."

Yes, there went the eye roll again before Tony hooked his finger around Bruce’s. “Sold, to the guy with the guy with the curry. We’ll listen to Rogers and decide objectively what to do.”

The touch didn’t linger. Tony went back to eating just after and stayed maybe a smidge too long when he finally noticed Banner yawning with near exaggeration. He agreed to meet him tomorrow around ten and they’d drive up together. Tony had a new Audi he wanted to show off anyway.

Asking where James was, and getting the answer that he was measuring his room and looking through online cataloged, Tony decided to head to bed. For once, he wasn’t even thinking about a drink, though the soft rustle of memories kept him awake for a little while longer.

His dreams were not pleasant, but at least they were his own. The void. Space. The fall. Just standard nightmares, the unfortunate happenstance of not having alcohol to help him pass out.

At least he wouldn't be allowed to sleep for too long, which might be a blessing considering his nightmares, though less of a blessing considering how little he slept on any given week. By rights, with the amount he put his body through, he probably should have been dead years ago.

"Sir," said FRIDAY, making the lights come up in his bedroom at the same time to assist in waking him. "I tracked James to the roof the building approximately fifteen minutes ago, but lost visual when he dropped off the side."

She didn't want to say that he might want to look for a smushed body at the base of the Tower, but all probability algorithms suggested that would be the case. The Tower was mostly made of smooth glass and metal struts, no place for hand holds or foot holds, and she hadn't witnessed any parachuting gear.

The AI was not a genius with a multitude of lifetimes of knowledge bombarding her at all times. Tony woke with a groan and sat up slowly. “Let’s even the sidewalk and run back Veronica in the infrared to see if anything in stealth mode hovered over the Tower tonight—. And after that, run a self diagnostic on why it took you fifteen minutes to tell me,” Tony grunted, rolling out of bed.

He didn’t think FRIDAY would find anything, no smear of former Nanny below, no quintet in stealth mode above.

He had a feeling that this was all Loki. He’d promised to find James. Tony just needed to make sure that nothing happened to him after that and he dressed in soft black pants and a t-shirt to head up to the room himself for a look.

Was he terrified? Absolutely. Loki didn’t sit right with him.

The scan only took a few moments due to FRIDAY's advanced technology, and it wasn't long after that before she reported that there was no sign of James or any sort of vessel that could contain James, either above the Tower or at the base. There would also be no signs of a struggle or of Loki when Tony made it to the roof.

But if he stood on the very edge and looked all the way down, he would see an impossibility. James hanging from the side of the building about three storeys down, his hand flat to the side of the building and the toes of his boots pressed against smooth glass as if that were a perfectly normal handhold.

All of Tony’s genius couldn’t have anticipated seeing that. He crouched st the edge of the roof, unafraid if heights, and tried to process what he was seeing.

“James? No offense, but what are you doing?” Could there be some sort of electromagnetic current that allowed the man to cling to buildings? That was pretty impressive. Likely a precursor to the arc reactor technology his father spent his last few years working on.

He tried to figure out where he’d be, mentally, able to peek into from that vantage point. The Tower was completely part of his mind and he knew the layout from every angle. It had to be the Tower, too. No other buildings in south Manhattan came close. Unless Bucky had telescopic eyes too but Tony would have seen that when in his head.

The Soldier would never have allowed anyone to sneak up on him this way. He should have been attuned to the noise of shoes on the roof, but he hadn't even heard the conversations between Tony and his AI, lost in thought as he peered through the window. Tony might be able to work out that the window he was looking through was one of the many gyms in the Tower, not really a used one these days.

He jerked when Tony addressed him and nearly fell. He only just caught himself and then scrambled up the side of the Tower as easily as if he had been walking on solid ground, flipping over the edge and coming to rest beside the other man.

"I was just thinking, I like to be alone when I think."

Bucky was nothing short of impressive. Tony smirked to show that he thought so without having to open his mouth on the subject. Just as he preferred. There was a unique vulnerability to that. One he didn’t care to have.

Tony shifted so that his feet dangled off the edge of the building. The wind ho here was guarded by the shape of the building from below and that alone was the only reason he wasn’t being blown around. “What were you thinking about? If you want to join a gym? Because you can have that one free of charge. No one ever uses it anymore.”

It was Steve’s. He used to kill punching bags on the regular there. But Tony was pretty sure that James sensed that already.

“If you want to hang off of buildings to think, you can. FRIDAY just couldn’t detect you over the side and she’s a little like a mother hen. She thought you jumped.” And so had Tony for a hot minute. “Don’t jump. There’s so much to live for. You have me again, remember,” he teased.

"I wasn't going to jump."

Bucky shifted to sit next to Tony, similarly not bothered by how high they were up and how it could be just one wrong move and both of them would be killed. A big part of why he wasn't eating a bullet right now was Tony, someone he trusted who gave him hope that he could carry on and find a new path.

"This is the weak spot in your security system, it's how got in and out before. I liked to know that not even your AI knew where I was. But-- yeah, I'd like to use that gym."

He canted his head, a tiny smile at his lips.

"Did you know that FRIDAY helped me order a huge bed. I never even knew beds came that big."

“When should I expect the orgies to begin?” Tony wasn’t going to say that now that he knew where the holes in his security was, they would no longer exist. It might agitate James and the soldier probably knew it already. It was best to just move happily on to a far less inflammatory subject. Of course, talking about orgies to a rape victim probably wasn’t all that couth either. Tony couldn’t help himself. Teasing about inappropriate topics was his bread and butter.

He kicked his legs slightly, the wind playing in his hair. He didn’t have a huge bed. He had the bed that he and Pepper slept in, not because he couldn’t afford a new bed but because he was used to it. It molded to his body just the right way and sometimes it didn’t feel so empty. He didn’t want to have something vast to lay on.

For a man that hated to be touched, he couldn’t help but want to be held at night. That was part of the powerful man needing to be vulnerable troupe that was so popular with the S and M community.

“But seriously, you should be able to have whatever you want. Splurge on a popcorn or an ice cream maker too. Just keep the livestock to a minimum. The smell lingers.”

He was grown up now. James looked the same. But Tony felt like a kid again, side by side with his first and for the longest time, only, friend.

Deep inside James there was still a guy who grew up in the Depression and wanted to save money all he could, but that part was being swallowed by the desperation of a man who wanted to experience these luxuries of being human after being nothing but a tool for so long. FRIDAY had ordered him a king size bed all for himself, as well as a lot of pillows and blankets.

"There's not gonna be any orgies."

He didn't sound offended, just blank.

"I know better than that now, I had my punishment for my unnaturalness and I ain't gonna tempt it to happen again."

That was probably the most real that James had spoken to him... ever. That last sentence was painfully human, the twang of old Brooklyn running straight through it, mixed with just a bit of old-timey quaintness. Tony didn’t bring James’ attention to it, and though the words were troubling, it felt good to hear that he was relaxing. Sure. He had been hanging off of a building by his arm like Peter Parker, but this felt like the man’s new sort of normal.

“I’m probably going to hate myself after for asking, but how are you unnatural?” He rolled his wrist around. “You know. More than the arm and the hardware in your head— You seem like a grade A person to me.”

He had only the smallest inkling of what James meant. Maybe he stole when he was kid. Maybe he had a few girlfriends at the same time. Hopefully it was something nice and light like that. Tony wanted something good to tease James about.

James nearly didn't answer. He was afraid to, as if by voicing it out loud then he risked the tentative peace that he had managed to carve out for himself here. Tony would turn on him and inform everyone that he had been here, they would track him and he'd be forced back into hiding again. He'd not offer help when he needed surgery again, and James would die out there, alone and reviled.

But Tony was his first friend in a very long time, and he deserved honesty for what he had offered. Besides which, he really wasn't practised at lying these days.

"I used to think I'd prefer to step out with other fellas."

He said it with the weight that it deserved, a true confession of sin.

“Most people don’t ‘used to’ feel that way,” Tony said, remarkably casual about it because it was a casual subject. He leaned his palms on his knees and shifted his weight forward to look down past his feet to the lights below. New York was never dark. Never. Some of the alleys might be dark on the ground but all you had to do was look out, or towards a window, and there would be the sign of life. He didn’t know if that was always a comforting thought, but to him, the man in the high tower, lonely despite his many gifts, it was. “It’s just who you are. I mean, I guess it could have been a phase. I don’t really keep up with modern sociology, I’ll be honest. I go through phases myself. It’s not the 40s any more. You don’t get thrown in jail for loving someone of appropriate age and species.” He needed to add that on as a caveat. Humanity was progressive, not insane. “Men marry men, women marry women, men decide to be women and marry men. Women decide to be men and marry men—”

He shrugged.

“No one’s going to punish you for stepping out. Unless you cheat. And you should never cheat on someone. And I sound like one of Cap’s PSAs now. Do not tell him I tried to be parental towards you. Ever. Gross. I had the biggest crush on you when I was fourteen anyway. I’m pretty sure that’s why you stopped working for us. So there you go. Secret for secret. Now stop looking like I’m going to splash you with holy water for being a deviant. Because you’re not. And nothing that happened to you was a damned punishment, okay? No one deserves to have their rights and consent stolen from them.”

Bucky's lips turned upwards as if he were amused at the casual way that Tony seemed to turn the world on its head, but it was a bitter sort of smile with hollow eyes that didn't find anything humorous in what was being discussed.

"Back when I was a young man, homosexuality was seen as being as bad as pedophilia. Maybe you can accept it as normal, but I don't know that I ever could. A man who wants to step out with other men is a deviant, a criminal."

Maybe he didn't deserve what had happened to him, but he could see it as being some sort of divine punishment from a God that knew his thoughts and saw his perversions. He had never thought that way about Steve, that man was his brother and that would have been a perversion too far even for him, but there had been other men he wanted to kiss.

"It's good of you to try and say nice things."

“Nice things? Nah. You know me. I know that you know me. And I don’t say things just to be nice.” He said that as if he could hold the words between the tips of his first finger and thumb and thought it was disgusting to have to touch. “Fine. Accuse me of saying nice things and then call me a criminal in the next breath. That’s fine. You sound like a politician.” The thought of James running for senate, or even city council, just made him laugh. It was a good laugh, strong and genuine and from the belly. It probably would also be misconstrued, and Tony wasn’t going to tell his old friend that he was imagining him delivering speeches punctuating points with a metal fist.

It was almost too Inspector Gadget. Even for a guy like him.

“Well come one. This criminal deviant is getting cold and has promised to lay off the alcohol so it’s impossible for him to sleep. Want to play video games? Or are you afraid that my sinfulness will rub off on you?” He’d tease James until the guy loosened up himself over his old hangups….though he probably wouldn’t go so far as to try and make him come to terms with his own homosexuality. Tony was a special case. He was open, extremely open, about his exploits. Sure. They were mostly with women. But he wasn’t about to deny himself any experience.

Plus, he had some very vivid dreams of sex with some of his friends and colleagues (and enemies) too.

So deviant was probably the right word for him after all.

Teasing might not be the best way to go about everything, and perhaps being with James might finally teach Tony how to step softly from time to time, and how to react with compassion without fearing that showing that sort of emotional openness would be used against him in the future.

James didn't look impressed at having this mocked, it was a huge confession for him to have made and he shook his head as Tony tried to tempt him back in with video games and fun. It hurt, kind of, to have given over something serious and have nothing in return for it but mockery.

"I'll go back to my room, I'm sorry for making FRIDAY drag you up here."

Chances were that Tony was never going to learn. He didn’t function that way and he was too used to everyone making concessions for his idiotic social skills. He liked to think of himself as suave and cool, and he was, but that fell apart at the first sign of genuine intimacy between himself and someone else, even if that was just sharing secrets. He’d even given one back to James-- Then again, considering how his father reacted to his son’s much too close fascination with his bodyguard, it was probably no secret at all to James why he’d gotten pulled from the youngest Stark’s duty so quickly.

Tony watched him go, standing up on the ledge for a moment before he yelled after the retreating form. “Hey-- What did I say?!”

He’d been understanding. He’d not judged. James was just…difficult. Tony went back inside a few minutes later, scowling, feeling like a cloud had formed over his head and was currently pouring miserably over him.

He hated feeling that way. He marched up to his bar and bent to grab a new bottle of scotch before he cursed and backed away from it.

This was misery too. And the whispers, they just sort of laughed at him as he slunk to the couch to play video games with himself.

And that was where FRIDAY would direct whoever decided to come to find him a few hours later considering that he was meant to be showered, shaved and dressed to go up to HQ. But he was not. He’d passed out with his cheek on the xbox controller instead.

FRIDAY could perhaps try to help him understand where he had gone wrong, she was programmed to be of a more helpful and polite disposition than her master and could tell why James had gone away in a hurt manner. But she wouldn't offer that advice unsolicited unless it became truly dire, she had no wish to court being replaced with a different AI system.

It was Bruce who came looking for Tony because it was him who was meant to be at HQ with him. Thor had been asked last night, but he had decided to remain with his people for now. Though he still considered himself an Avenger and a band of their warriors, he was also a King to a homeless people now and that had to take his first priority.

Bruce couldn't really argue with that.

He had been let in by FRIDAY, despite Tony saying nobody should be on these top floors except him and James, and stood in front of the other man poking at him with an air of mildly disapproving amusement.

Tony started awake, the pattern of the buttons etched onto his face above the line of his beard. “What—? I swear to god, if you aren’t naked or about to be naked and in the mood, I am not waking up for you,” Tony groaned, rubbing eyes that were refusing to open.

It could be that he didn’t realize it was Bruce come to kick him awake, but his voice was obviously male. Tony didn’t care. He’d been having really wonderful dreams about a lot of chest hair, which normally wasn’t his bag, and that voice kept him locked into a memory that was not his own, at least for a moment or two.

"I'm neither, but you're going to have to wake up anyway, because if we don't leave now then we're going to be late for the meeting with Steve and the other Avengers."

He continued poking at Tony's ribs, aiming for the spot that he had discovered was ticklish by accident in the lab one day. That, more than any discomfort, would probably get him up and about.

"And I'd really like to talk to you about why you have Bucky Barnes in your Tower before we get there."

Rib poking was unfair! Tony tried to use the trigger on the controller to shoot Banner away, but it didn’t work. Neither did the thumbstick. He didn’t try to throw it, though, which he probably should have done in the first place. Instead, he wriggled half off of the couch, gripping the back of the black leather before his eyelids flickered open at the name fresh off of Bruce’s lips.

Not Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers could go hang off of the edge of a helicopter for all he cared (actually, no, he might find himself somewhat impressed by that). “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tony said. He didn’t want to lie to Bruce. It felt wrong and it felt dirty and he already knew that Bruce knew what he was said was the truth and not a speculation. How? Well, that wasn’t important now. Shutting the door after all of the horses got out was pointless unless that thing was heated and you were trying to save a little on your energy bill.

Still, denial was Tony’s only recourse.

“I need two minutes. FRIDAY, get the water as cold as possible, I need a dip. And set out the….the Armani The three piece. With the red silk Fender tie. I’ll get dressed on the way. Quinjet today, not the Audi.”

“Of course, Boss,” FRIDAY chirped, ever helpful.

The fact that Tony had woken up so immediately at the mention of that name was all the proof he needed to know that he had been right, though it gave him nothing as regards to why and how this arrangement had come about. This was not the pair up that he might have imagined, not with what Tony had already told him about the troubles recently and what FRIDAY had elaborated on after he had asked.

Why would he be keeping Barnes here?

He really hoped that it wasn't some sort of revenge thing. He didn't think it was; for all of Tony's many faults, he didn't think intentional cruelty was among them, and revenge took intentional cruelty or immediate passion. The time for immediate passion had passed.

So he just watched as Tony basically ran away to shower and meandered up to the Quinjet to meet Tony there when he was done.

“Any mention of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, in any respect or anyway, to anyone that is not myself or James is off limits. You play dumb, FRIDAY. If anyone is possibly listening, you tell them that you don’t know anything about James Barnes,” Tony said, angry more at himself than his AI as he showered all of the important places clean, shaved as best he could, and pulled on some underwear before he grabbed his duffle bag. He usually kept clothing in all of his vehicles, but he wanted to wear this particular suit and while he had several versions, none of them were currently in the quinjet. He hoped that Banner didn’t care if he got himself dressed in front of him.

Actually, he didn’t care what Banner thought because Banner was risking the loss of a friend-- Yeah, it was all really complicated right now. Tony wasn’t even sure where he was going with that, he just knew it wasn’t anywhere good. He needed both men in his life. Yes. Needed. He had come to terms with that the last time he and Bucky spoke about friendship. The man had insights about his relationship to Rogers but the truth was that he had a desperate need to make the Avengers his friends.

Even the ones he didn’t really like.

And so the ones he clicked with? Losing Banner had been terrible. He couldn’t do it again without access to the alcohol he was currently being denied.

Tony managed to make being half undressed and disheveled look good as he climbed into the jet and dropped the dufflebag to retrieve his somehow unwrinkled suit from it. He wasn’t sure if he was hungry, in need of a drink, or just nervous to see Steve again as he buttoned up his cufflinks and then sat down beside Bruce to run some product through his hair. He offered the wax to his friend as if to suggest that he might need a little help with that cut too.

The AI was more than content to adhere to the rules set out for her, though she did ask demurely if she should permit James access to the laboratory while he wasn't in the Tower and if he should be contacted if James seemed agitated or in need of his presence while he was away.

Bruce waved away the offer of wax and let them get into the air before he broached the subject again, voice that deceptively mild one that he used when he wasn't about to take any of Tony's shit but wasn't angry with him either.

"So are we going to discuss Bucky? If we don't, then it might make it hard to know what to say when Steve inevitably brings it up, and I don't want to be hiding something that he should know or telling him something that he shouldn't."

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tiny phone tags why are monday so busy?

Especially when we hardly had time yesterday!

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and now I am here til bed <333

Thank god. I have missed you like crazy.

I missed you too!

<3 your tags complete me. XD

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