advanced: (Default)
Bucky Barnes ([personal profile] advanced) wrote in [community profile] fossilised2017-10-23 02:37 pm

it's a new plot!

here is a header, coo coo cachoo
starkingenuity: (drink - smirk gesture tshirt)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-23 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Dim light broke apart the amber liquid in Tony Stark’s glass into browns and golds across his crisp white shirt collar. There was a mouthful left, filling in the gaps left behind the smoothed edges of half melted ice. He shifted the tumbler back towards him and the sound of solid and liquid made a pleasant, bell like sound that pricked at his ears. He exhaled, breath condensing on the edge of the glass held close to his lips for just a moment before it faded away just as he finished the scotch.

That was half a bottle gone in less than an hour. It was not a new record and though he had put the stopper back in the crystal decanter, given that it rested on the desk within reach, it should have known it wasn’t safe. He wrenched it off and tossed it aside, ignoring how it rolled to the edge of his desk and caught on a napkin sketch of a new armor design he’d yet to translate into anything more than ballpoint pen on stained paper. Grabbing the neck of the decanter, Tony leaned forward to kiss the neck of the bottle to his glass, stopping for just a moment as something moved out of the darkness in front of him.

“FRIDAY, you’re fired,” he said without slurring, a trademark of a functioning alcoholic. “Put ‘trash FRIDAY and find an AI that’s better with Stark Security protocols’ on the agenda for tomorrow at ten, right after setting up interviews for a new head of security. Just because he’s in the hospital doesn’t mean he gets to lay down on the job.”

He finished pouring his glass. Three-fifths. Too much. He drank half anyway and refilled it precisely to the line it had been out before and then addressed the shadow again with his eyes. He arched both eyebrows, waiting for whatever move it would be taking. He was hoping this wouldn’t end in a fight. He just had the place re-painted.
starkingenuity: (worried - puppy)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-23 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
At five years old, the ability to recognize a person was not well developed. A change in hair or dress style could make a familiar person into a stranger. At ten, that small defect tended to correct itself and the mind could not be quite capable of distinguishing people based on deeper physical cues. Funnily, it all dropped off after that as more and more people came and went on a daily basis. The mind, as it grew to hold more information, fixated on facial features and voice and mannerisms to alert it when someone familiar was nearby. Like a muscle, memory needed to be exercised and recollected. The past had to be recalled on a frequent basis or familiarity seeped into nostalgia and was replaced by feeling. Recognition faded.

So while Tony had paid attention to the mess that was made, to Rogers going AWOL, and to the constant media stream of the face of a clean cut man wearing a circa 1942 Army uniform, he did not associate the grainy photo of a baseball hat wearing man with the one standing in front of him now.

Tony had not used Russian in a long time, not since the last time he had seen this particular ghost standing across the room from him. Nostalgia hit hard, with a metal core bat, and Tony put the tumbler back on the desk with a sudden, jerking hand movement.

A hundred moments, a thousand thoughts, pin pricks of memories flashed into one total picture where recognition and emotion burst bitterly on his tongue and then faded away. It occurred to him what hadn’t before. He knew Bucky Barnes, but not as Bucky Barnes. His heart rate, which had spiked briefly, returned to normal on it’s own.

“It’s been twenty-seven years and now you need maintenance?” His Russian wasn’t great. His mind was too cloudy to try and form the thick vowels so he didn’t try.
starkingenuity: (sad - tired sit tv examine worry)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-23 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Though Tony had no doubt about Steve’s massive meltdown, he’d been a kid, just fourteen, when his bodyguard (whom he had ironically called his ‘nanny’) was pulled from his detail. That was just about the time that Jarvis had died and his mother told him that he was too old to have friends that were actually part of his staff and on his father’s payroll.

Fourteen was one of those years of his life that had a milky, burnt sienna wash to it. Tony remembered misery and he remembered loneliness and he remembered the tantrum and the fugue state that would eventually result in DUM-E’s first prototype. Everything else was muddled watercolors and lack of photographic evidence that he’d had a childhood before that at all save the odd movies his father made for investors and boarding school yearbook montages.

Contemplating the man now, the one whose true name he was never told, Tony reached for his glass and breathed in the smell of alcohol. He wanted it in the worst way, not to dull the constant chatter of thoughts in his head, but so he could forget whatever clarity he was experiencing from his youth.

“Four?” Tony drained the glass until only ice remained. He sat it firmly back down on the desk as he stood, pulling down his vest smartly. “You know what? I’m feeling generous. Come downstairs with me.” He was graceful, maybe a little unsteady, but one hand in his pocket and the other on the railing kept Tony from breaking all of the bones in his body. He unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled them up, sitting on a rolling stool. The lab was much brighter than his office, blue and white illuminating the chrome and the glass. He watched his Nanny descend after him, as if picking out where to place each foot based on where Tony himself had stepped moments before. He was fluid. Catlike. Just as Tony remembered.
starkingenuity: (sad - resigned vulnerable work)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 05:28 pm (UTC)(link)
"As much as I loath doing what I'm told, you're in luck," Tony said, wishing he had taken up smoking so he had something to do with his hands when there wasn't a drink against his palm. It was not the first time he'd thought of that and not the first time he let it linger, like he had just inhaled some tobacco flavored with vanilla or clove and was letting it burn his lungs. He always thought the actual act was disgusting though, the smell got on everything and he usually had a healthy respect for his ability to breathe.

He and liver had been on the outs for awhile now, though, and he could always get a new one. Or make a new one. He missed having something artificial in his body. The scar where the reactor used to be left a gaping hole inside of him. And that was not just figurative, as much as he adored the pun.

"The Captain and I aren't really on speaking terms right now and I really hate sharing." He still did not connect that this ageless man who had been so important to him for eleven years of his young life was the same man that had taken out the UN Summit and killed the king of Wakanda. He still did not know that his old nanny was Steve Rogers' best friend.

The connection wasn't there.

"You want to tell me how you aren't dead? Or like sixty? Pull up a chair, let me look at the arm. C'mon, I can work and you can talk. Those aren't mutually exclusive activities."
starkingenuity: (work - beckon science come here)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Having more or less handled his own upgrades for years now, there wasn't much that made Tony squeamish. He winced, but it was less the wince of a man who empathized with pain and more like something he had been taught to do long ago so people thought he was an eccentric jerk, but not a sociopath who had trouble understanding the emotions of others. Jarvis had been the one to teach him that, to blend in. 'Genius,' his old friend had once said when Tony had gotten himself a bloody nose because he'd made fun of an older boy's entry into the science fair, 'means that you need to work just a bit harder at being a person. Do you think you can do that for me, Anthony?'

Tony had been able to do that, especially after his Nanny paid the kid a visit and broke all of his fingers the next afternoon.

A few presses of buttons, a few displays lit up, and Tony reached into a drawer to put on some gloves. He didn't mind the smear of machinery, synthetic, coal black, but he wasn't getting involved in whatever was coming from this other man's arm. It looked like three quarters blood and one part oil. It smelled like copper and like fire and he'd not had enough to drink to get any of that under his nails.

"You have no idea who I am, but you still knew that I would have the schematics for this arm in my database and could fix it," Tony said coolly, and indeed the design of the arm's last iteration from the 70s, at least two versions behind this current model, floated slowly in the air for his inspection. He glanced at it briefly, learned everything he needed to know in half that time, and waved the image away again. "I'd be mad, but this isn't typical. I'm not the kind of person people forget."
starkingenuity: (hurt - choke throw)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
By this point in his life, Tony had learned his lesson on letting his guard down. He was no longer easily taken off guard. He was no longer helpless when he ran his mouth and gave out his address. Every contingency was more or less accounted for these days and so the moment that the man grabbed him, the moment his pulse raced against his fingertips, FRIDAY shut down access to the lab and turned on the emergency lighting. "Boss, you have three seconds to enter your code," she informed him, and Tony, gripping Bucky's hand, choked it out.

He fondly remembered his Nanny doing this to his peers (as if he truly had any), and there were flashes of scarlet red shreds of memory of this man with a gun shooting through his palm. Unsettled by both thought and action, Tony joined his other hand around Bucky's wrist.

"Go back where? You came to me," the inventor choked.

After twenty-seven years, the man had come back to him. Where he'd been floating around in a fountain of youth, Tony had no idea.

"You can let go now?"
starkingenuity: (Default)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)

The word was laughable. HYDRA had a special place in their hearts where his death warrant was signed and made good on and Tony was not under the impression that he had a lot of good friends left that were not already ousted as HYDRA operatives. He gave the blank faced man a truly incredulous look. “I am not HYDRA.” There weren’t many things he cared to deny, no matter how much legal pleaded with him, but that was one thing.

He was not some subversive Nazi. He was a functioning alcoholic, a top level genius, and more than a little self-serving, but he also was also a philanthropist, a lover, and when his guilt really got to him, he was even a decent human being. Sometimes.

“I have a schematic of your arm because you were my bodyguard for eleven years. Dad used to tinker on you and-- Oh come on.” Tony would have pressed his fingertips against his eyes if, you know, he wasn’t being threatened to have the life squeezed from his throat. Tiny voices filled in the blanks of the story that his mind had already connected a whole lot of the dots to and the switchboard agent inside of his head was giggling madly at the truth.

Of course Howard Stark was HYDRA.

That was just the sort of life he was doomed to have.

starkingenuity: (confused - puppy hurt sad vulnerable)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Now that was just sad. Tony might have been angry or annoyed or horrified but in all actuality, it was just par for the course. He found himself becoming less and less attached to people as he grew older, as everyone he thought he could really care about left him. One or two people managed to squeak by from time to time, slipping into his armor like they belonged there, like he had loved them countless times before in countless ways, but for the most part, his personality really did help to shield him from the pain of personal connection. The one-two loss of his Nanny and of Jarvis had done a number on his childhood and the way he viewed relationships from then on.

His stomach soured just a little, bit that might have been the scotch trying to ride high in his throat again, ignorant of how drinking was typically supposed to work.

Tony massages a little bit of extra pain into the bruises of his throat and pushed back on the wheeled stool to put some distance between himself and the man. The lights lifted, shifting from the sweltering red of danger back to the bright whites that provided the best opportunity to view his work. His lips pursed.

“Faulty memory and anti-aging? You’ve got the makings of a B-movie character,” Tony said, somewhat guardedly before he grabbed some tissues from his work station and tossed them at the bleeding man. “So now that we’re completely distrustful of each other and this situation, how about we come to some sort of truce until you’re no longer in danger of bleeding all over my floor. No more choking. And how about no more talking either, all right?”

As Tony got to work, something he did with remarkable ease, his mind tumbled over absolutes. The alcohol was wearing off and the whispers of things that did not happen and would never happen kept threatening to overtake him as he wrenched playing back into shape, almost like he’d done it before.
starkingenuity: (sarcasm - explain)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Tony hadn’t been a sick kid. Sometimes he did stupid things that opened him up to malady, mostly in the form of broken bones brought on by lack of desire to safely manufacture his inventions in lame attempts to garner attention from a man who never seemed to like him, but like every child, Tony did find himself sick from time to time. Genuinely. Not just faking it to get out of a math class that was far beneath his genius or a stint in detention that he absolutely deserved a hundred times over. And while he had not had many illnesses, he was old enough then to remember that pneumonia, caught from being stuck in a tree for three hours while his Nanny was off doing something for his dad and Jarvis was at home with his own wife, an off day for the semi-butler.

The sickness had kept him in bed and delirious for days, had let the voices creep in and play around with his memories, and left him feeling miserable on top of achy and feverish. A flash of golden-amber eyes might have looked familiar then, part of the recall of Bucky’s long repressed memories, but Tony was quick to cover them up once more with lashes as he looked immediately away from the dimple chinned man he’d last seen the day before he turned fifteen.

“So you do remember.” He needed to look through his belongings. There were almost no photographs of him as a child, and only a few videos from the archive. In the seventies, no one walked around with a means to record every second of every day, after all. It bothered him, for the first time ever. It bothered him because his nanny had been cut out, fittingly, and he’d hated even the thought of him for years.

Tony wiped his hands on a rag. Red and black mixed maliciously and he threw it aside where DUM-E could clean it up later. Or burn down the lab. He seemed to get those two tasks mixed up and Tony never had the heart to fix his whipping boy.

“The only thing I know about my dad is that he was a douche bag. So hey, maybe deep down I always knew. But HYDRA stopped being a thing after the war. It’s only just come back into style. Like the 80s. Your thumb should work now.”
starkingenuity: (angry - frown scowl)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-24 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
As far as Tony was concerned, everyone and their mother spoke the way his nanny had, or should have at least. He’d been too wrapped up in himself to see anyone outside of himself and thought Jarvis had tried hard, very hard, to reach Tony in his youth and teach him about how to recognize that every human being had the right to be treated as such, this man was mostly out of his life by then. It was why Tony had cared so much for him. He never judged. He protected Tony without lecturing him. He was there for the nightmares, let the kid hold onto him when he needed to, and never mentioned it again, not to anyone, no matter what.

His Nanny was more like the St. Bernard that the Darling children kept and was treated as his namesake was.

“I know who you are,” Tony said, switching tools and removing his gloves once he had wiped down the metal with rubbing alcohol. He needed to do some more precision work and he slipped some magnifying headgear over his forehead and right eye. “You worked for me for awhile and then you disappeared.” He didn’t like to repeat himself but this was a special circumstance. “You only remember a case of pneumonia. You know I’m on TV like... all the time? I’m an Avenger? Ever heard of us? Oh. Guess so. Since you don’t want me tattling to Captain Starspangled Boxer Briefs. Why is—“

The tool slipped on the ridges if the arm. No harm done, but Tony was silent for a long time as his thoughts caught up with him. He never knew if his insights were all his own or if they were the others that he used to talk to Bucky about when he was a kid before his mother found out and sobbing my out him into therapy where he learned never to mention it again.

He liked to think that this was all him, but as with his uncanny knowledge of how to fix this piece of equipment he had never seen in his life, he didn’t think so.

“Barnes. Winter Soldier. Shit. Do you remember blowing up a building, by chance, or is it just sickness based memories?”
starkingenuity: (drink - tea coffee mug)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-25 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
Hate filled Tony, an analogue to the emotion that Bucky must be feeling now. He was impossible to read, this situation was nothing like s board room drama and the personalities he was dealing with here were nonexistent. He set the tool aside with trembling fingers, he stood, and he walked across the room to grab the bottle he knew was poorly hidden behind just-for-show flasks. He didn’t bother with a glass this time, drawing his comfort directly from the mouth of the only constant in his life.

After that, the edge gone, his feelings dulled, he turned but did not immediately slip back into Barnes’ company. The bottle was still in his hand but he had twisted the pressed metal cap back on, a flimsy defense.

Should he blame himself for not knowing st five years old that his Nanny had even less autonomy than the Darling children’s pet? What about ten year old Tony, who asked questions about why the man never slept and if he didn’t have the muscles in his jaw to smile. What about when he was fourteen, finally self-aware, in the throes of puberty, constantly masturbating, and becoming a little too much like a singular version of the Hardy Boys attempting to get his Nanny to open up a little to him.

But there was nothing to open up to him about because his father was a monster and wiped his memories and forced him to protect and follow around a lonely child who had no mind to notice that his Nanny wasn’t just super cool and stoic and took his job seriously.

“How about you tell me the things you do remember? Got this feeling that the list is short.”
starkingenuity: (tired - face palm sad sit)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-10-25 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
If words could sober a man right up, Bucky had found them, plucked them out of the nether, glued nails on them and threw them so hard they might as well act like bullets. Tony knew the thought was hyperbole. He knew he was being dramatic. He’d been without Bucky longer than he had been with him, but he couldn’t shake off the sting of his self imposed lonesomeness once more being reinforced.

“How about you humor me?” His Nanny hadn’t ever spoken to him this way. Tony would chat incessantly and Bucky would just follow orders when they were given or stare over his head to keep an eye on the situation as Tony used him for holding spare parts or carrying heavy objects away from the school or the house. Bucky has a voice now, though, one that wasn’t a growl or an occasional seeking of clarification in Russian.

He set the bottle down with reluctance, ignored the desire to call up Pepper at her mother’s and tell her his dad had been HYDRA because he needed to tell someone, and pushed the stool that had traveled away from Bucky back to the workbench.

“Because right now, the only thing you’re doing is demanding work from me and paying me in backhands. Gotta tell you that there’s a time and a place for that and it’s not here.” That Tony was a masochist would surprise no one.

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Re: at work now <3

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starkingenuity: (Default)

[personal profile] starkingenuity 2017-11-19 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, there went the eye roll again before Tony hooked his finger around Bruce’s. “Sold, to the guy with the guy with the curry. We’ll listen to Rogers and decide objectively what to do.”

The touch didn’t linger. Tony went back to eating just after and stayed maybe a smidge too long when he finally noticed Banner yawning with near exaggeration. He agreed to meet him tomorrow around ten and they’d drive up together. Tony had a new Audi he wanted to show off anyway.

Asking where James was, and getting the answer that he was measuring his room and looking through online cataloged, Tony decided to head to bed. For once, he wasn’t even thinking about a drink, though the soft rustle of memories kept him awake for a little while longer.

His dreams were not pleasant, but at least they were his own. The void. Space. The fall. Just standard nightmares, the unfortunate happenstance of not having alcohol to help him pass out.