fossilised | For Steve

For Steve

[This is a bad idea.

Bucky knows it as soon as he stops outside the little community centre where these classes run and he sees the other students milling about, chatting to each other in their own little cliques. The thing has been running for a while, it's an art group for anyone with any sort of mental health issue - depression, anxiety, psychosis. He's here for PTSD, practically bullied into it by his therapist at the VA, under the instructions that he needs to get out and start socialising more.

There are only six other people, four women and two men, and it already feels like too large a crowd. He makes sure his prosthetic is properly covered by a glove and long sleeve, stuffed into his pocket so nobody can tell it hangs strangely, and slouches in at the back. From the conversations he can overhear, blonde woman and redhead woman have anxiety issues, brunette #1 and the two men all have depression, and brunette #2 has psychosis. They're all so open with each other, chatting about medications and coping techniques and the work they've been doing in class already.

One of them approaches him and asks his name, and what he's there for, but he just glowers at her until she retreats again. He doesn't want anyone to know why he's here, and he's only here so Wilson will stop goddamn riding him about it.

He slumps into the seat nearest the back and waits for the teacher to arrive, already sure this is going to be a waste of time...]

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[Damn damn and double damn.

He doesn't want to make Steve miss the party, this thing has been hyped up for weeks and he's been dying to see what costume Steve has chosen for himself. Natasha and Clint will be sad if Steve doesn't make it, and all because Bucky's a goddamn idiot.]

Don't do that, you can go, it's--

[He can't do it. He can't lie to Steve, it feels like a betrayal when Steve has never lied to him. There's the sound of a soft thunk as his head falls back against the wall in frustration.]

I'm not sick, I just picked a dumb costume and I don't want you to see it.

[Half true, at least.]

[Steve smiles a little when Bucky tells him that, resting his head against the wall against Bucky's door as well, hand gently pressed against it.

He's alone in the hallway and they've got a wall between them, he's allowed to be a sap.]

Bet mine's dumber.

What is it?

[He's still not making a move to open the door, even though the traitorous Yasha is over scratching at it. She can clearly tell Steve is there and she knows that Steve is the best thing for Bucky's mind on any day.]

Nuh uh, you gotta try to guess first.

[The smile is evident in Steve's voice. He's keeping Bucky talking, that's a success. A little bit at a time. No small amount of flirtation either.

He doesn't think Bucky will ever guess due to the ridiculousness of it.

Steve is a sexy cat. It's part of a long in-joke between him and Nat regarding the over-sexualization of female costumes and how that never applies to men and - look it was hilarious at the time, okay? And it's sort of become Steve's fallback costume.

And maybe he was kind of hoping Bucky would want to see him in the skintight bodysuit. He's not sure if he's disappointed or relieved that all that hyping himself up for it might be for nothing.]

[If Bucky stays in his self imposed lockdown tonight and then finds out that he missed Steve in a skin tight bodysuit as a sexy cat, he will literally throw himself off the roof in despair.

He hasn't gone even slightly the sexy route. He's left his prosthetic off, he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and beach shorts with sandals, and has a surf board. The stump and half the shirt are both drenched in fake blood, and Yasha is dressed as a shark with his prosthetic tied to her "jaws" also covered in fake blood.

The shark attack idea seemed funny at the time, and he stupidly thought that if he hid behind a joke then it would make showing anyone himself without his prosthetic on a less scary thing. More fool him.]

Is it a cowboy? Or Batman?

[Steve will be equally disappointed to find out he missed out on Bucky's costume. It's clearly the perfect blend of funny and sweet and he'll be all the more charmed to see it.]

Oh, those would be good. No, not that. You could argue Batman is a little close? Want to keep guessing or see it yourself?

[Batman is close? Does that mean one of the other Superheroes? Superman, maybe? Or one of the villains? God, he wants to see Steve so much that he's actually considering opening the door, even though just thinking about it kind of makes him feel a bit sick.]

...close your eyes.

[Maybe he can cheat and see Steve without being seen in return.]

... okay.

[He knows a setup when he sees it, but maybe - well, maybe Bucky will feel more inclined to come out when he sees Steve dressed so ridiculously? There's no way Bucky's can be worse than something that is effectively knock-off catwoman.

So Steve steps back from the door, taking a breath and closing his eyes, trying to not overthink about the placement of his hands, the way he holds his weight.]

[For some reason, Bucky never doubts that Steve has done exactly as he said and closed his eyes, even though he has no proof. It's only a few seconds later that the door clicks open and then shut again behind Bucky as he-- well-- stares. There's no other word for it, he's got eyes so wide that he could be a cartoon character.

That's the sexiest thing he's ever seen.

The costume doesn't leave anything to the imagination, and he just wants to be touching that ass or those abs or--]

Jesus.

[It's a breathy sort of sound.]

You look sinful, Steve.

[Steve positively flushes at that, a mixture of embarrassed and pleased. God, he wants to open his eyes, to see how Bucky is dressed, to - to see the way Bucky is looking at him right now.

He said he'd close his eyes though and he's a man of his word. It also kind of makes the next part a little easier, too.]

Um, I, uh. I also wanted to ask, er, invite? Ask? You to ... that is ... I got a new bed. Bigger. [God, he's fidgeting now, but you started this Steve, you finish it.] And I was thinking after the party if you wanted to - we don't have to do anything if you don't want to but ... you were, uh. Welcome ... to ... spendthenight.

[That just wasn't fair.

How could Steve ask him something like that, dressed like that, and expect any blood to remain in Bucky's brain for him to make a sensible decision? Because the sensible decision is no. He's freaking out enough over him dressed without his arm, what would he be like naked? And he knows that nightmares are a real issue. Two good reasons to say no.

But he can't seem to think about anything except Steve and his delicious body and that offer. He has to be quiet for a few seconds and very sternly think about something not sexy before he makes a tent out of his shorts.]

Steve...

[He takes a deep breath. Okay, he can do this. He can do this. He can--]

Open your eyes and see if you still wanna make that offer.

[After all, knowing a man is an amputee and seeing it are different matters, a lot of people get grossed out by the sight of stumps.]

[Steve opens his eyes.

He meets Bucky's first, all sincere and hopeful at the possibility of getting a yes out of Bucky. It gets his attention in bits and pieces, Bucky's costume. Too easy to get lost in his eyes.

Steve takes it in. The lack of his prosthetic and all the fake blood.

He smiles.]

Oh my god, your costume is great! That's so clever!

[Bucky feels something lift off his shoulders when Steve smiles. A piece of him that's been hating what he looks like since he lost the arm finally quietens down, replaced with the blue eyes of a man seeing something he obviously isn't repelled by. It makes Bucky flush and smile in return.]

Really?

[He takes a step forwards, his own pupils blown large and dark in pretty obvious desire.]

It's no-- cat-bat-suit. Goddamn, Steve, you're so gorgeous that I can't even speak properly.

Really.

[And god, the way Bucky is looking at him right now...]

It's this stupid in-joke Nat and I had that - you know? It doesn't even matter.

[Steve's still pretty red, but he's emboldened by these months together. By the way someone as breathtaking and gorgeous as Bucky looks at him. So even though his heart is racing a mile a minute, he reaches out to grasp Bucky's shirt, to tug him a little closer. Steve doesn't really mean to bite his lip invitingly either, he just can't help himself when Bucky's around.]

You want to get a closer look?

You have no idea.

[He's wanted to get a closer look at Steve beneath his clothes since the second he saw the man walk into that art class, he's got a body to die for and getting to know him has only ramped that desire up tenfold.]

Don't tempt me, Rogers, because I'll make you call off the party anyway and carry you back down to that new bed right the hell now.

[He leans in and presses a light, almost innocent kiss to Steve's lips in juxtaposition to his words. God, he loves this guy. He should probably tell him that at some point.]

[Steve would be lying if he tried to claim that he didn’t feel the same about skipping the party. He was trying to consider how mad Natasha and Clint would be, if he offered up the information of spending the night with Bucky if it would buy him forgiveness.

The sweetness of the kiss makes his knees weak and he rests his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, returning it.

Jesus, Steve, get your shit together. You are a responsible adult.]

We can skip the party - I know my friends will understand. Or - if it gets too much, I’ll stay close and you can just tap my shoulder and I’ll make an excuse to get us out of there and we can come back and enjoy the company of just us. And Yasha. And the maybe two trick-or-treaters that will come around.

[Bucky being comfortable is Steve’s primary concern here. Recovery is important, getting Bucky back out into the world, but not if the attempt is going to set him running and afraid to try again.

… Also getting Bucky to spend the night, even if all they do is enjoy the intimacy of sharing sleeping space their usual intense kissing.]

[It's so incredibly tempting.

Especially when Steve proves yet again just what a good guy he is, that he really does understand that Bucky is fucked and still isn't running from him. But he can't do that, he doesn't want to be that guy who makes Steve stop doing things with his friends, so he shakes his head, even if the desire for Steve is still obvious in his eyes.]

I can wait. Probably.

[Now that a couple of hurdles have been overcome, he's more than ready to get at the skin beneath that tight costume.]

Hey Steve... [He hesitates. It probably isn't the most romantic time to do this while covered in blood soaked Hawaiian beach clothes, but it just pops out.] ...I'm in love with you. Just thought you oughta know.

[Steve just kinda goes completely frozen, eyes wide, for a moment. Of course he figured there must be some kind of feelings involved on Bucky’s part like why would he put up with Steve otherwise, but to hear it actually said...

Steve leans back in and very, very thoroughly kisses Bucky. He’s completely breathless when he pulls back, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s just for one more point of contact.]

I’ve been in love with you for months I just - I was worried about it being too soon so I kept putting off saying anything, I love you too.

[That's definitely the reaction wanted when confessing love to someone, and Bucky sinks into the kiss without any resistance. He snakes his arm around Steve's hips and pulls him close, flush to one another, and contemplates again missing the party to have their own, more adult, party.]

Then you're goddamn crazy.

[Who would love him?]

But I like that kind of crazy.

Looks like we’re a matched set, then.

[Being pulled so fully against Bucky, it’s hard to hide how much Steve is enjoying it. The costume really does leave little to the imagination, so even the slightest bit of interest is pretty easy to notice.

He’ll be self-conscious about it in a minute or so, really. He’s just a little preoccupied with kissing Bucky again, and again, thoughts of everything fleeing except the pleasant ache in his chest and the giddiness and how good it feels to have Bucky’s hand and body pressed against him].

[This is why two arms would be really useful right now, he could keep one around Steve and use the other to explore that excitement he could feel pressing against his thigh through the skin-tight suit. Oh well, he'll just have to improvise.

He pushes Steve back against the wall and presses properly flush to him, and starts to move his thigh between Steve's leg slowly and deliberately. Party? What party? He doesn't even care that this is happening in the hallway while they're being watched by his dog.]

Oh!

[It’s a hallway, anyone could come across them, there’s absolutely zero privacy here and they have places to be and Steve is meant to be more responsible than this.

When Bucky’s thigh presses against him, though, the world narrows to that point of contact. Steve’s hands tighten on Bucky’s shoulders and a helpless keening sound escapes him as he jerks against Bucky’s thigh before he can stop himself.]

[That sound right there is his new favourite sound in the world, and his ambition in life is to hear it as many times as he can. He starts pressing kisses along Steve's jawline, working down to his throat, murmuring against his skin.]

Does this thing have a fly?

[There has to be some way for Steve to pee in this catsuit without taking the whole thing off, right? He wants to find that fly so that he can get his mouth onto Steve.]

[Steve’s mind is all fogged, he can’t think of anything - Bucky’s lips against his skin feel like a brand and he wishes they were, that he could have a mark left behind mapping everywhere that Bucky’s touching him. Everywhere Bucky will touch him.

He continues to hold tight to Bucky like a drowning man, every shuddering breath coming out with a moan. It feels like his hips are moving on their own, steadily grinding against Bucky’s thigh.

He almost doesn’t hear the question at first. looking at Bucky with mild confusion and wide blown pupils has Steve has to take a moment to remember how language works.]

Oh! There’s, um, there’s snaps between - between my legs.

[Right over his perineum, to make any bathroom use needed easier. Or any other activities one would want to get up to.]

[It's been ages since Bucky had sex last, not since before the last time he shipped out, and he hadn't realised just what the dry spell had done to him until he got into this position. Now he doesn't think he could stop if a meteor hit the building, or if someone came along the hallway.

He's hard as a rock in his shorts, but his entire focus is on Steve right now. He slides his hand between them and pulls the snaps open, hoping that Steve has gone commando underneath to not spoil the line of his suit.]

Jesus, Steve.

[As soon as he manages to get Steve exposed to the air, he slides down against Steve to his knees and, without any preamble, takes Steve into his mouth. It's been a long time since he sucked cock, but enthusiasm probably makes up for any rusty technique until he gets into it.]

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