For John Watson

[howdull]

[Sherlock is still finding pieces of the melted laptop in the carpet.

It had actually been quite an ingenious booby trap to be devised by a fourteen year old boy with only household chemicals to work with but, as Sherlock surmised, rather overkill to keep his mother from finding his extensive porn collection. Not one of their more illustrious cases, but it had been quite entertaining to watch both the boy and mother's faces as he revealed that he did know the how and why. He lost interest after the mother started shouting and John started shouting and the whole thing turned tedious.

He rather thinks John won't actually be doing a full write-up of this one on his blog.

It's been two days since their last case and he's beginning to get more than a little antsy. Lestrade has sent him nothing, just a boring hit and run that he refused to even leave the flat for, and nobody interesting has appeared through the blog. Said blog he is currently scrolling through on John's laptop, having borrowed it again.

He did ask, it's not his fault John hadn't been in the room at the time.]

Bored, John.

[He doesn't even know if his flatmate is even in, but that's hardly a necessity for him to actually speak to John. Frustrated, he throws the laptop across the room to hit the wall, where it summarily breaks. Which is where he can be found whenever John appears, sulking amidst pieces of laptop, both from the melted one of their last case and John's poor broken one.]

Comments

[jumpthegun]

No, no! Wait! I'm not trying to sell anything. I just... I wanted to ask where you got them. I got one of your cards from a friend and thought it was, uh... great!

[So great he's going to pull his phone away from his ear and put it on speaker for a moment to glance at the text messages.]

I'm starting up a new home business.

[howdull]

[Sherlock glances over and shoots John a look that clearly despairs of his acting abilities. There are two texts sent within the last hour but a while apart, but a faulty signal in the area means they've come through at the same time.]

FROM: Mycroft Holmes: Your rooms are on reserve, Dr. Watson, please don't check in any later than 11.

FROM: Unknown Sender: Are you getting the message yet?

[The woman on the other end of the line falters, but doesn't hang up on him.]

Oh, uh, really? I suppose I can put you through if that's all you want to know. But we do have your number and we will blacklist it if you're lying and try to sell us something.

[jumpthegun]

[John frowns in confusion. He holds up the phone for Sherlock to read the text as he speaks to the winery woman.]

I understand. This really isn't a marketing call.

[howdull]

[Sherlock's face lights up and he mouths the words 'Alphabet woman' in excitement. How does she have John's number? Oh, this gets better!

John is connected quickly to a very bored sounding Asian man in the admin department, who informs him that their business cards are ordered from Ink and Blink in Soho.]

[jumpthegun]

[John thanks the man before hanging up. Soho catches his attention, but he files it away.]

What should I say? Tell her yes?

[howdull]

[His mind is working rapidly, obviously calculating the possible outcomes of every kind of text message in seconds.]

No. Tell her that you're sorry for what happened in Afghanistan, but what she's doing won't change the past.

[jumpthegun]

[John frowns, but starts typing.]

I don't know what I'm apologizing for.

Yes. I'm sorry for what happened in Afghanistan, but none of this is going to change what happened.

[howdull]

Don't add to what I said.

[Sherlock is suddenly looming over John like a giant gangly bird of prey, reading where John is typing.]

Don't say yes. Send it just as I said it.

[jumpthegun]

[Sherlock earns a Look, but John edits the text.]

I'm sorry for what happened in Afghanistan, but what you're doing won't change the past.

[howdull]

[That's better. He knows what he's doing, he can't have John ruining things with errant word choice.]

You can tell Mycroft to go away while you're waiting for a reply. We're not going to the Hilton, we have a place to stay.

[A very scummy bedsit with one bed and no actual bedsheets.]

[jumpthegun]

[Well, all right, then. John sighs as he sends off the first text to the Alphabet Woman. To Mycroft:]

Thank you for the offer, Mr. Holmes, but I'll have to decline. I don't want to put any hotel employees at risk.

Should I try calling the other places with the cards?

[howdull]

FROM: Mycroft Holmes: Do you enjoy merely parroting the words my brother gives you to say, Dr. Watson? I strongly advise you to reconsider my offer.

[That reply comes through almost at once, with the subtextual threat of another black car pulling up and dropping them outside the Hilton if they don't agree.]

Yes, you should. Tell them you're from Ink and Blink about their most recent order, then hang up if they confirm that's who they ordered them from.

[jumpthegun]

[John's brows rise at Mycroft's message.]

Mr. Holmes, if I were parroting, my message would be a great less polite. Thank you for your kindness. I've already endangered enough innocent people by being around them in a known and heavily populated location. I'm working at the moment. I'll talk to you later, if you'd like.

[John calls the bakery first.]

Hullo, this is... uh, Carl with Blink and Ink. I needed to talk to your office manager about our latest shipment of business cards.

[howdull]

[Sherlock looks utterly disgusted and his fingers twitch as if he's seriously considering snatching the phone from John's hand. But luckily, the man on the other end of the line is far too busy doing the evening clean up to really notice the errors or the hesitancy.]

Business cards? Oh, right. You want to call back tomorrow morning, speak to Andre, he deals with the admin. He's got your number, right?

[And two more texts come through.]

FROM: MYCROFT HOLMES: Very well, I would like to talk to you 'later'. I will send a car for you in fifteen minutes.

FROM: Unknown Sender: I don't want your apologies, I just want you to suffer like I've suffered. You're going to lose everything, Captain, this was just the warm up. The main event starts in three days.

[jumpthegun]

Yeah, thanks! I'll talk to him then.

[John hangs up.]

Any thoughts on avoiding your brother in the next 15 minutes? I've apparently been naughty.

[His attention turns to the other message after that, and it's far more concerning. There are people he's killed, men who have been lost under his command, but if she was serving with him, she'd have understood that. Was it someone who lost her husband or wife because of one of his decisions? A sister? He wracks his brain for all of the women he served with. But faces blur together. There are only a few that still stand out clearly--Bill, Major Sholto, Tess from Requisitions... he'd rather fancied her. There are others, but they're mostly men.]

Very naughty. Can I just ask her who she is?

[Sherlock is hovering, so John doesn't expect he needs to show him the phone.]

[howdull]

No.

[The look he gives John is the patented one that says how do other human beings function when they're such idiots?]

The main event suggests that C, whoever or whatever C is, is more important to you than both Baker Street and your sister. Perhaps your own life? C could quite easily stand for Captain.

[He'll ignore the Mycroft issue for now.]

[jumpthegun]

She already nearly killed me, and I'm not...

[John clears his throat and doesn't finish that thought. His life isn't as important as other people. The main event would be killing others if she knows him at all.]

C is for Clara? [John shakes his head minutely.] She's not more important than Harry. I don't have that many- The clinic? Sarah works there. [And if this woman is trying to systematically destroy his life, then taking out his place of work would be next of the list.]

I can warn them. Might be able to shut down for a week.

[howdull]

If you think it necessary.

[He doubts the clinic will be the start of the main event, it's surely less important than Baker Street. What are they missing here? There has to be something and it's driving him wild, having the answer just out of his grasp.

John's phone pings again with a text.]

FROM: Mycroft Holmes: The car is outside, Dr. Watson.

[jumpthegun]

[John runs a hand down his face.]

What are the odds of outrunning your brother?

[He starts tapping out a message to Sarah.]

TO: Sarah Sawyer: Really sorry about this, but you're going to want to have them close down the clinic for the next week. There's a very serious possibility it'll be the next target of a bombing attempt. I'll call you later. Love you.

[Later. Much later for Sarah.]

[howdull]

[Two texts come in within seconds of each other, almost immediately.]

FROM: Sarah Sawyer: I get out of work in fifteen minutes. I'm calling you and you better answer. I'm not kidding, John.

FROM: Mycroft Holmes: Long odds, I'm afraid, Dr. Watson.

[Sherlock flops back on the bed with the business cards atop his chest.]

Fairly good, Mycroft never exercises, he'd collapse in a street or two.

[jumpthegun]

[John rolls his eyes at Sherlock and pushes himself up.]

Your brother has this flat mic'd. I'll be back in a bit. Should I say anything else to the Alphabet Woman?

TO: Sarah Sawyer: Middle of a case. I'm not sure I'll be able to pick up. I'm sorry. Government's involved.

[Sort of. Technically Mycroft is the government.]

[howdull]

[Unfortunately for John, Sherlock already has his eyes closed and is too busy thinking to respond or even hear what his flatmate has to say. His fingers ache for his violin, destroyed in the explosion at Baker Street.

There is indeed a car waiting outside, with not-Anthea in the back as always. Except now her hair is cherry red and cut cropped close to her ears, and she's wearing denim rather than a smart skirt suit.]

[jumpthegun]

[John blinks a few times at the sight of her as he slides carefully into car with a grimace of pain.]

Does he just... sort of send you everywhere?

[howdull]

[She glances up from her phone and smiles.]

Pretty much. That is my job.

[And then it's right back to her screen, John not that interesting to her. They will be driving for over fifteen minutes, thanks to London traffic, so John's phone will ring while he's in the car with Sarah's number.]

[jumpthegun]

[John looks at the number and seriously considers not answering. That's going to cause more problems than it will solve, though. He puts on his best impression of being not in pain and completely on top of things.]

Hey. I haven't got to much time. Are you doing okay?