Sherlock Holmes (
howdull) wrote in
fossilised2016-11-06 04:25 pm
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For John Watson
[Sherlock is still finding pieces of the melted laptop in the carpet.
It had actually been quite an ingenious booby trap to be devised by a fourteen year old boy with only household chemicals to work with but, as Sherlock surmised, rather overkill to keep his mother from finding his extensive porn collection. Not one of their more illustrious cases, but it had been quite entertaining to watch both the boy and mother's faces as he revealed that he did know the how and why. He lost interest after the mother started shouting and John started shouting and the whole thing turned tedious.
He rather thinks John won't actually be doing a full write-up of this one on his blog.
It's been two days since their last case and he's beginning to get more than a little antsy. Lestrade has sent him nothing, just a boring hit and run that he refused to even leave the flat for, and nobody interesting has appeared through the blog. Said blog he is currently scrolling through on John's laptop, having borrowed it again.
He did ask, it's not his fault John hadn't been in the room at the time.]
Bored, John.
[He doesn't even know if his flatmate is even in, but that's hardly a necessity for him to actually speak to John. Frustrated, he throws the laptop across the room to hit the wall, where it summarily breaks. Which is where he can be found whenever John appears, sulking amidst pieces of laptop, both from the melted one of their last case and John's poor broken one.]
It had actually been quite an ingenious booby trap to be devised by a fourteen year old boy with only household chemicals to work with but, as Sherlock surmised, rather overkill to keep his mother from finding his extensive porn collection. Not one of their more illustrious cases, but it had been quite entertaining to watch both the boy and mother's faces as he revealed that he did know the how and why. He lost interest after the mother started shouting and John started shouting and the whole thing turned tedious.
He rather thinks John won't actually be doing a full write-up of this one on his blog.
It's been two days since their last case and he's beginning to get more than a little antsy. Lestrade has sent him nothing, just a boring hit and run that he refused to even leave the flat for, and nobody interesting has appeared through the blog. Said blog he is currently scrolling through on John's laptop, having borrowed it again.
He did ask, it's not his fault John hadn't been in the room at the time.]
Bored, John.
[He doesn't even know if his flatmate is even in, but that's hardly a necessity for him to actually speak to John. Frustrated, he throws the laptop across the room to hit the wall, where it summarily breaks. Which is where he can be found whenever John appears, sulking amidst pieces of laptop, both from the melted one of their last case and John's poor broken one.]
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He sighs and unbuttons it, pulling it off to drape it over the foot of the bed.]
Hurry up, then.
[He glances towards the door.]
I'll create a distraction.
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He does listen for the sounds of Sherlock's distraction, but his main goal is just getting to the entrance.]
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This is a floor with a lot of dangerously ill or burned victims, after all, and so a lot of life saving equipment. He simply pulled the plug on one as he passed by and every nurse and doctor came running at the shrill sound of someone coding. Not that they would, of course, Sherlock had made sure to choose a patient with excellent colour who could definitely be off their support for a few minutes.
He saunters to the lift and down to the lobby, leaning against the brickwork as he waits for John. He pats his pockets for a cigarette, but irritatingly they're in his coat pocket. Not that he would smoke it, he just wants to hold it, that's all.]
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Where d'we go from here? Police station? No. Never mind.
[He wants his clothes, but they'll just send him back to hospital.]
I, uh... I don't suppose you know anyone my size who could lend me some clothes? I'll pay you back... them back soon as I can get access to my accounts.
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How? Your bank balance was fifty three pounds and seven pence overdrawn yesterday.
[He knows, he hacked into John's online banking.]
Call Lestrade, get him to bring by you your own clothes. Tell him to meet us at the British Museum. Oh-- and left coat pocket, cigarette, please.
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I need to borrow your phone.
[John starts feeling in the other pocket of the coat for it.]
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He hesitates, awkward, before patting John once on the shoulder.]
If you need to talk, John, I-- You know you can always-- what I'm trying to say is that Mrs. Hudson's number is on there too, I'm sure she'll listen.
[The phone is indeed in Sherlock's other pocket. It contains 6 numbers. John, Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, Morgue, Mycroft, and Petra. There is no number for his parents.]
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Who's Petra?
[Not a girlfriend, but someone important enough to be in Sherlock's phone book.]
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I believe you want L, Lestrade.
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[John does, at least, bring up Lestrade's number.]
Might be one of them saw something around Baker Street.
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He doesn't answer about Petra, lighting the cigarette instead and taking an almost sinfully delicious lungful.
Lestrade answers after only two rings sounding worried.]
Sherlock! How's John, he come round yet?
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[He hesitates, obviously confused.]
Why are you asking me to pick you up some clothes?
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The nurse at the hospital said someone from the Yard came to pick up my clothes for evidence.
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Uh, no? Nobody's been sent to get them, we got all the evidence we could from the flat itself, didn't see what more your clothes could tell us.
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I have to go. [And he hangs up.]
She left her card. He said she left her card at the desk. Who the bloody hell steals clothes?!
[This really is starting to feel like a campaign to humiliate him.]
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[She can hardly keep John naked for the rest of his life, can she? He's already turning back to go in, however.]
If she's left you a card then she's becoming more impatient, less cautious, that's good.
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The desk nurse smiles at Sherlock, although, the scent of smoke on him makes her wrinkle her nose for a moment.]
Can I help you?
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He smiles at her; warm, friendly, and just a touch concerned.]
Oh yes, sorry to bother you. My brother was admitted here earlier today following an explosion, his clothes were collected by the police. He can't-- obviously he can't go and fetch them himself, but I was told the officer left a card here?
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Ah, there was someone earlier... what's your brother's name? Sorry, just need to be sure.
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[It's probably a good idea that John can't hear this, Sherlock muses to himself, he would possibly be mildly annoyed at the use of his dead sister's name. It made sense, though, in case she was prescient enough to check for next of kin.]
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[Her eyes drop for a moment as she sorts through some papers on the desk and pulls out the card to hand to Sherlock.]
I'm really sorry about your brother, Harry. We'll take good care of him.
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[His smile drops off his face immediately as he snatches the card, whirling around in an overly dramatic gesture which would have been greatly improved by the addition of his usual coat, he strides back outside.
He's beaming by the time he rejoins John, holding the card out to him.]
Definitely impatient, she may as well have left her full name and address.
[The business card is normal sized, white cardboard, and the lettering is Courier New. It reads: P.C. SALLY DONOVAN, NEW SCOTLAND YARD, LONDON, with a phone number underneath it. Obviously it's not from Sally, she has all ten fingers and no real reason to go after John, but it's interesting to Sherlock that this was the name chosen.]
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C is for Calling Card? You want to call her or should I?
Maybe somewhere a little more private.
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[Don't ask how he knows this.]
Look more closely. The font isn't standard for a business card, that means she has some passing knowledge with technology. [Better than John, anyway.] The card-stock is old, perhaps five to seven years, but it smells fresh. She works somewhere with a high stock holding of blank business cards. The choice of name suggests she has us under close surveillance, but we haven't noticed her, making her former occupation as a soldier more likely. She's blonde, but not natural, the scent of the recent semi-permanent hair dye and the faint trace of a smudge along the corner, and she wears an extraordinarily cheap perfume with the primary scent of lavender.
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assume the date ic is 10th feb for ease
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that was a lot of typos... SORRY
never forgiven
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I've put the Diogenes Club on Carlton Terrace bc that's what was used for exterior shots in the show
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cw: homophobic slurs
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cw: homophobic slurs
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Hahaha oh god all in one day, poor John
It's been a rough not-even 24 hours... plus he escaped the hospital and got arrested
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