For Darcy

[throneenvy]

No, Loki.

Those words still rang in his ears even hours after they had been said, as though a bell tolling for his execution. He saw Odin's face with every blink of his eyes, disappointed and dispassionate, as though he cared nothing for the suffering of his younger son. No-- No, not son. He had made that mistake too many times, he was no Odinson, and to believe otherwise was to perpetuate the lie told to him his entire life. He would not be so foolish as to pin hope on those words said before the sleep took the All-Father, where he said he still saw Loki as his son, where the lies had been designed to protect him.

His actions since proved those false. Lies worthy of being told by the Silver-tongue himself.

Despite all Loki had done. Despite upholding his decision regarding Thor, despite proving the elder son had no right to the throne in his arrogance and stupidity, despite saving the sleeping king's life from a mortal enemy and slaughtering his own birth father for his sake, despite acting as a true ruler to destroy a realm that had declared war... still he was seen as wanting. His actions deemed as unworthy, even criminal. And Thor returned to the fold as worthy heir.

He had thought to die when he fell to the Void. He had hoped for once brief, brilliant moment that Odin or Thor would catch him. But they did not. They watched him fall as though they had tossed him to the abyss himself. But he had not died, he had somehow fallen through the gaps in shadow and landed in another realm. He knew at once that it was Midgard. It stank of the mortals, the air had that distinct sharpness that was only found here.

This was where Thor had become worthy once more.

Perhaps that was a sign. Perhaps he could reforge himself once more here on Midgard, perhaps-- or perhaps those were false hopes brought out by a shattered mind. He no longer knew himself if he were insane, and he found he did not care. He only wished to be alone and hidden until he thought through what he should do, until he found a place for himself once more. It was a matter of instinct to cloak himself from Heimdall's gaze, though he had little energy left and exhaustion tugged at his bones even with that small use of his magic.

He did not even have the energy to find one of the cities the mortals had built, scarce enough to even find one of their roads and sit beside him. He used the last of his magic to change his clothing into garb less likely to draw attention, simple black trousers and a neat shirt, before he sat in the dust and dirt and waited for one of their vehicles to pass by.

Loki required transportation, food, and rest. Then perhaps he could begin to make sense of what had happened and plan his next moves.

Comments

[throneenvy]

It would have been all too easy for Darcy to deny that anything Loki said had merit. Those who hid themselves under a guise of the bumbling fool or inanity usually tended towards denial when they were called out. Even if they longed for the recognition and accolades that revealing their true selves might bring them, it didn't make them any more likely to choose that option. After all, their disguises and banal existences were often more comfortable and safe than the great unknown of the truth, where to climb to loftier heights meant to risk a greater fall.

That she did not, that she rose to the challenge, only raised her in Loki's estimations. His smile hitched a little higher and he held out a hand towards her, palm upwards and long elegant fingers curled slightly up as if to invite her to take it. She held much of him in her hands, being the only one aware of his true identity now, but that just made this more throlling.

"Very well, I grow tired of the constraints of this charade I must play. Perhaps one night where both of our potentials may be released is in order."

He had not unleashed what he was capable of since he fell from the rainbow bridge, since he had destroyed the only way for Asgard to be connected to the other realms. He could have slipped into his own secret pathways at any time, but that could bring him risk of discovery, especially as all the other realms knew his face far better than Midgard.

"Tell me, Darcy, have you ever visited the country your people call Denmark? It is the closest connection your realm has to the old religions and my peo-- Asgard. Allow me to take you there and show you the places which meant so much to me as a youth. Do not fear, we shall return in time for your duties to resume come morning, when we shall both be transformed back to the banal lies we must live to survive here."

[tasedagod]

A strange sort of giddiness ran through her, laced with an undercurrent of anxiety. Not for the first time in her lift, Darcy felt as if she were on the verge of doing something incredibly reckless with potentially far-reaching consequences. She should have paused to sort out her concerns, to consider the long-term effects, but Loki’s infectious smile and demeanor had her ensnared.

What was the worst that could happen, aside from her ending up dismembered in a dumpster in a foreign country? A bitter voice wondered how long it would even take Jane to notice that she was gone.

Probably the moment she reached for an empty coffee mug.

“I have never been out of the country,” she admitted as she took his hand, clasping it tightly. “I don’t have a passport and international travel is expensive.” Darcy did not know what language was spoken in Denmark, and unless things were written in English, she would be completely lost, dependent upon Loki, of all creatures. She probably couldn’t even pick it out on a map.

However, help was always just a phone call away. Her cell would be useless without an international travel plan, but all she would need to do was bribe someone into letting her use their phone or purchase a pre-paid card – if those even existed anymore – and…

What? Jane was strapped for cash, and revealing to Erik that she’d been stupid enough to gallivant off to a foreign country would raise too many questions.

Worse come to worst, she would figure something out. Darcy was resilient. And if they were unable to return in time for work the next morning, Loki would undoubtedly invent a convincing story regarding their whereabouts and estimated return.

Briefly, practicality reared its head. “Wait. We’ll need to exchange money, since I’m pretty sure Denmark doesn’t accept American currency. I should head to the bank first.” There was no way she was going to a foreign country without buying as many souvenirs as she could carry, and she wasn’t sure if she’d be hit with any fees for using her credit cards overseas.

Then she grinned, tugging lightly on Loki’s hand, excitement overriding whatever good sense was left in her head.

[throneenvy]

Loki had been so cautious in the past few months. So careful to maintain his guise of a normal mortal man, to allow nothing to raise suspicion or call attention to himself. Though he cloaked himself from Heimdall's all seeing gaze by instinct, he still feared being found. That those on ASgard believed him dead was a hollow comfort; for, though it meant they would be less likely to be searching, it also meant his way home was truly closed from him.

Yet not using his magic didn't mean that he forgot it was there. It lingered just on the fringes of his vision, tantalising and tempting. He was a creature of magic and chaos at the core of his being, it felt as though he were deliberately not using a limb or sense by denying himself this integral part of his being. He longed for the embrace of seidr, for the life and connection it gave him to Yggdrasil.

It was foolish and impulsive to potentially risk everything to indulge himself, but a wild recklessness had overcome him. The calculations were near completion, it would not be long before he had to face leaving this small team of mortals who he had become fond of, until he had to discover what lay next on his murky and ill-defined path. Perhaps it was that nearness that pushed him to do this.

He rolled his eyes as she pulled him down the street towards the bank. "Do you think of naught but the exchange of money?" It was a rhetorical question. He had noticed that all humans seemed inordinately preoccupied by the acquisition and then spending of the paper money they prized so highly. Still, if she wished to make such a short stop, he would not complain overly much nor rescind his offer. He would merely wait until she had gathered what funds she wished and they were out of sight down a nearby alleyway and then--

Ah, then.

Then he embraced the energy that was always waiting within him, a tidal wave of power that was barely restrained into the channels he desired it to flow. His hand curled around hers and both of them fell through the spaces between the branches of Yggdrasil. A plethora of colours and sounds entwined both, a maelstrom of madness that stole the breath from lungs and stalled the heart's beat.

It lasted only an endless few seconds before the world coalesced around them once more, showing rolling hills and beautiful meadows. To the west, the hillside fell away into sheer cliff and glittering blue ocean beyond.

"Welcome, Darcy, to the Røsnæs."

[tasedagod]

Jane’s research being funded by SHIELD was one of the best things that had happened to Darcy, considering there were actually funds in her account that she could withdraw for her impromptu holiday. Loki seemed amused, but how else did he expect them to pay for things like food and pointless trinkets? Cold, hard cash made the world go ‘round. And now she couldn’t get the Pink Floyd song out of her head.

Their express trip through an instantaneously endless brain-breaking nightmare solved that problem for her, possibly leaving behind enough nightmare fuel to plague her for all of eternity.

“Warn me next time?” she said once her mind was able to piece together the fact that they were standing on solid ground. Realizing she had a death grip on Loki, she let him go, distracting herself with the view as she waited for her shaking to stop. That was an unpleasant mode of travel. Next time Loki decided they needed a vacation, she would introduce him to the phenomenon known as airplanes.

Whatever erupted from Loki’s mouth was almost indecipherable. “Bless you,” she said absently, still looking around at the unspoiled land. It was like they’d been dropped in the middle of the Shire, only without cute little hobbit holes and such. She squinted into the distance, half-hoping to catch a glimpse of Gandalf trundling down the path smoking his pipe weed.

It was after her distraction passed that she noticed it wasn’t eleventy billion degrees. She took a deep breath, the tenseness in her shoulders evaporating. An escape from the heat all by itself was appreciated beyond measure.

How far were they from civilization? As convenient as Loki’s method of travel proved to be, she was not the least bit eager to repeat the experience again, especially so soon. However, she wasn’t dressed for extensive walking, and hadn’t thought to stop by the apartment to change. It figured the one day she decided to dress nicely for work, Loki would whisk her away.

The breeze was light, playful, the air cleaner than she’d ever tasted. It would be easy to pretend they were in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with no people around for hundreds or thousands of miles. She should have been terrified. She was alone, with Loki, and there was literally no one to intervene if he decided to turn supervillain and blast her to smithereens.

Instead, she felt grateful. Loki had chosen to share this with her, not only a glimpse of his powers, but this beautiful piece of tranquility he could have horded for his own. Suddenly, a day seemed far too short to spend away from the office, which seemed claustrophobic in comparison. Darcy turned in a slow circle, taking it all in, trying to commit as much of it to memory as she could.

“It’s beautiful here.” She stopped, facing Loki with a grin, seemingly more relaxed than she had been since she had discovered his true identity. The strain of lying, the constant games she had to play to keep his secret, had taken its toll on her. This, it seemed, was Loki’s way of thanking her. Between his idle scrutiny, the way he bypassed her defenses and saw her, and his obvious attempt to share more of himself with her, Darcy was nearly overtaken by emotions unfamiliar and, to an extent, unwanted.

So she fought them back, drawing upon her nearly endless reserve wells, and said playfully, “Where to first?”

[throneenvy]

It had been many hundreds of years since Loki had last stood in this spot. Though the imprint of the Bifrost had long been eroded away with weather and time, he knew it would have been here that he and Thor were delivered to play, for his magic worked best when he connected to places he had already been. It allowed his body to follow the echo of memory, a tug stronger than abstract thought. Though being stood here once more did make him think of Thor.

He had been younger then, though nearly as tall as he was now. They were not yet men in their majority, still boys in the eyes of the law and their family, and so they had only been allowed to come to the safe realm of Midgard to explore. Mortals, after all, could pose no threat to princes of Asgard, even ones so young and inexperienced.

It was a bittersweet memory, to think of times so happy. Times before he had begun to see how great the chasm between he and Thor truly was when it came to the affections of Odin and Asgard. Times before he had known all that his life had been built upon was a lie. Times before he had been a monster.

To see that the land was mostly unchanged was pleasant, though he knew that now there were roads and towns not too far from this unspoiled stretch of coastline. He walked forwards a few paces in the long swaying grass and looked out over the glittering sea.

"There are cliffs not far from here, they were my refuge in the months I spent here in my youth. Though I suspect you may be more interested in visiting the local shopping district than indulging my whims for nostalgic travels."

[tasedagod]

Darcy shook her head, unable to stop smiling. There had always been something about unspoiled nature that soothed her, though she had spent so little time exploring it. Mostly as a child, in an effort to escape what to her was an unappealing home life, and only occasionally as a teenager to get away with her friends and act like complete idiots. Even then, she'd never happened across a place that practically encapsulated its own little world.

She could scream as loud as possible - and Darcy could be damn loud - and no one would hear her.

Instead of that filling her with dread or fear, it delighted her. It wasn't something she would seek out on a regular basis, as she was still a rather social creature, but after what they had both gone through, it was nothing short of heaven. No one looking over her shoulder, no one potentially second guessing everything she said. Just her and Loki, and no one to discover their secret.

"Show me," she said, extending her hand. "I want to see all the places you enjoyed as a child." And she did. Shopping could come later, for this trip was more for Loki's sake than her own. That he chose to share it with her was enough to keep that smile on her face even when her cheeks began to ache.

Perhaps this sort of thing could become commonplace between them. Secret locations across the globe they retreated to whenever relations back at the lab became too tense, or one of them was close to falling apart. A bonding experience, a way to continue rebuilding trust between them.

"You'll get bonus points if there is a waterfall. I've never seen one."

[throneenvy]

"I must apologise, but there are no waterfalls in this particular location."

Loki's smile brightened, taking years from his face that the bitterness and anguish of the past few months had burdened him with. He felt free in this moment. It was a dangerous and reckless giddy sensation, one he recalled all too well from many points in his life, usually directly preceding an incident which would lead to him being punished. It was the spark of chaos that lived inside of him, always waiting to be fanned to full flame.

Asgard did not know he still lived. It was, therefore, foolish to continue giving displays of magic. Heimdall may not be able to see him, but there were other things and other ways that Asgard may be alerted, especially if they were drawn to look by abilities no human had possessed since the dawn of time. A lack he felt pity for. He could not imagine being so bereft of the life energy that connected him to Yggdrasil itself.

"Are you afraid of heights, Darcy?"

He asked the question in a low and teasing voice, somehow intimate between them, even as his long fingers curled around hers. He was yet unsure why he had chosen to bring her along, other than she was the first real friend he could claim as his own. She had no reason to hold loyalty to him over Thor, no reason to keep his secrets, and yet she did. That touched him more than he would ever admit, and had only deepened the enjoyment he already felt in her company.