Loki (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
throneenvy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fossilised2016-02-12 05:26 pm
throneenvy) wrote in fossilised2016-02-12 05:26 pm
Entry tags:
For Darcy
No, Loki.
Those words still rang in his ears even hours after they had been said, as though a bell tolling for his execution. He saw Odin's face with every blink of his eyes, disappointed and dispassionate, as though he cared nothing for the suffering of his younger son. No-- No, not son. He had made that mistake too many times, he was no Odinson, and to believe otherwise was to perpetuate the lie told to him his entire life. He would not be so foolish as to pin hope on those words said before the sleep took the All-Father, where he said he still saw Loki as his son, where the lies had been designed to protect him.
His actions since proved those false. Lies worthy of being told by the Silver-tongue himself.
Despite all Loki had done. Despite upholding his decision regarding Thor, despite proving the elder son had no right to the throne in his arrogance and stupidity, despite saving the sleeping king's life from a mortal enemy and slaughtering his own birth father for his sake, despite acting as a true ruler to destroy a realm that had declared war... still he was seen as wanting. His actions deemed as unworthy, even criminal. And Thor returned to the fold as worthy heir.
He had thought to die when he fell to the Void. He had hoped for once brief, brilliant moment that Odin or Thor would catch him. But they did not. They watched him fall as though they had tossed him to the abyss himself. But he had not died, he had somehow fallen through the gaps in shadow and landed in another realm. He knew at once that it was Midgard. It stank of the mortals, the air had that distinct sharpness that was only found here.
This was where Thor had become worthy once more.
Perhaps that was a sign. Perhaps he could reforge himself once more here on Midgard, perhaps-- or perhaps those were false hopes brought out by a shattered mind. He no longer knew himself if he were insane, and he found he did not care. He only wished to be alone and hidden until he thought through what he should do, until he found a place for himself once more. It was a matter of instinct to cloak himself from Heimdall's gaze, though he had little energy left and exhaustion tugged at his bones even with that small use of his magic.
He did not even have the energy to find one of the cities the mortals had built, scarce enough to even find one of their roads and sit beside him. He used the last of his magic to change his clothing into garb less likely to draw attention, simple black trousers and a neat shirt, before he sat in the dust and dirt and waited for one of their vehicles to pass by.
Loki required transportation, food, and rest. Then perhaps he could begin to make sense of what had happened and plan his next moves.
Those words still rang in his ears even hours after they had been said, as though a bell tolling for his execution. He saw Odin's face with every blink of his eyes, disappointed and dispassionate, as though he cared nothing for the suffering of his younger son. No-- No, not son. He had made that mistake too many times, he was no Odinson, and to believe otherwise was to perpetuate the lie told to him his entire life. He would not be so foolish as to pin hope on those words said before the sleep took the All-Father, where he said he still saw Loki as his son, where the lies had been designed to protect him.
His actions since proved those false. Lies worthy of being told by the Silver-tongue himself.
Despite all Loki had done. Despite upholding his decision regarding Thor, despite proving the elder son had no right to the throne in his arrogance and stupidity, despite saving the sleeping king's life from a mortal enemy and slaughtering his own birth father for his sake, despite acting as a true ruler to destroy a realm that had declared war... still he was seen as wanting. His actions deemed as unworthy, even criminal. And Thor returned to the fold as worthy heir.
He had thought to die when he fell to the Void. He had hoped for once brief, brilliant moment that Odin or Thor would catch him. But they did not. They watched him fall as though they had tossed him to the abyss himself. But he had not died, he had somehow fallen through the gaps in shadow and landed in another realm. He knew at once that it was Midgard. It stank of the mortals, the air had that distinct sharpness that was only found here.
This was where Thor had become worthy once more.
Perhaps that was a sign. Perhaps he could reforge himself once more here on Midgard, perhaps-- or perhaps those were false hopes brought out by a shattered mind. He no longer knew himself if he were insane, and he found he did not care. He only wished to be alone and hidden until he thought through what he should do, until he found a place for himself once more. It was a matter of instinct to cloak himself from Heimdall's gaze, though he had little energy left and exhaustion tugged at his bones even with that small use of his magic.
He did not even have the energy to find one of the cities the mortals had built, scarce enough to even find one of their roads and sit beside him. He used the last of his magic to change his clothing into garb less likely to draw attention, simple black trousers and a neat shirt, before he sat in the dust and dirt and waited for one of their vehicles to pass by.
Loki required transportation, food, and rest. Then perhaps he could begin to make sense of what had happened and plan his next moves.
no subject
Their express trip through an instantaneously endless brain-breaking nightmare solved that problem for her, possibly leaving behind enough nightmare fuel to plague her for all of eternity.
“Warn me next time?” she said once her mind was able to piece together the fact that they were standing on solid ground. Realizing she had a death grip on Loki, she let him go, distracting herself with the view as she waited for her shaking to stop. That was an unpleasant mode of travel. Next time Loki decided they needed a vacation, she would introduce him to the phenomenon known as airplanes.
Whatever erupted from Loki’s mouth was almost indecipherable. “Bless you,” she said absently, still looking around at the unspoiled land. It was like they’d been dropped in the middle of the Shire, only without cute little hobbit holes and such. She squinted into the distance, half-hoping to catch a glimpse of Gandalf trundling down the path smoking his pipe weed.
It was after her distraction passed that she noticed it wasn’t eleventy billion degrees. She took a deep breath, the tenseness in her shoulders evaporating. An escape from the heat all by itself was appreciated beyond measure.
How far were they from civilization? As convenient as Loki’s method of travel proved to be, she was not the least bit eager to repeat the experience again, especially so soon. However, she wasn’t dressed for extensive walking, and hadn’t thought to stop by the apartment to change. It figured the one day she decided to dress nicely for work, Loki would whisk her away.
The breeze was light, playful, the air cleaner than she’d ever tasted. It would be easy to pretend they were in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with no people around for hundreds or thousands of miles. She should have been terrified. She was alone, with Loki, and there was literally no one to intervene if he decided to turn supervillain and blast her to smithereens.
Instead, she felt grateful. Loki had chosen to share this with her, not only a glimpse of his powers, but this beautiful piece of tranquility he could have horded for his own. Suddenly, a day seemed far too short to spend away from the office, which seemed claustrophobic in comparison. Darcy turned in a slow circle, taking it all in, trying to commit as much of it to memory as she could.
“It’s beautiful here.” She stopped, facing Loki with a grin, seemingly more relaxed than she had been since she had discovered his true identity. The strain of lying, the constant games she had to play to keep his secret, had taken its toll on her. This, it seemed, was Loki’s way of thanking her. Between his idle scrutiny, the way he bypassed her defenses and saw her, and his obvious attempt to share more of himself with her, Darcy was nearly overtaken by emotions unfamiliar and, to an extent, unwanted.
So she fought them back, drawing upon her nearly endless reserve wells, and said playfully, “Where to first?”
no subject
He had been younger then, though nearly as tall as he was now. They were not yet men in their majority, still boys in the eyes of the law and their family, and so they had only been allowed to come to the safe realm of Midgard to explore. Mortals, after all, could pose no threat to princes of Asgard, even ones so young and inexperienced.
It was a bittersweet memory, to think of times so happy. Times before he had begun to see how great the chasm between he and Thor truly was when it came to the affections of Odin and Asgard. Times before he had known all that his life had been built upon was a lie. Times before he had been a monster.
To see that the land was mostly unchanged was pleasant, though he knew that now there were roads and towns not too far from this unspoiled stretch of coastline. He walked forwards a few paces in the long swaying grass and looked out over the glittering sea.
"There are cliffs not far from here, they were my refuge in the months I spent here in my youth. Though I suspect you may be more interested in visiting the local shopping district than indulging my whims for nostalgic travels."
no subject
She could scream as loud as possible - and Darcy could be damn loud - and no one would hear her.
Instead of that filling her with dread or fear, it delighted her. It wasn't something she would seek out on a regular basis, as she was still a rather social creature, but after what they had both gone through, it was nothing short of heaven. No one looking over her shoulder, no one potentially second guessing everything she said. Just her and Loki, and no one to discover their secret.
"Show me," she said, extending her hand. "I want to see all the places you enjoyed as a child." And she did. Shopping could come later, for this trip was more for Loki's sake than her own. That he chose to share it with her was enough to keep that smile on her face even when her cheeks began to ache.
Perhaps this sort of thing could become commonplace between them. Secret locations across the globe they retreated to whenever relations back at the lab became too tense, or one of them was close to falling apart. A bonding experience, a way to continue rebuilding trust between them.
"You'll get bonus points if there is a waterfall. I've never seen one."
no subject
Loki's smile brightened, taking years from his face that the bitterness and anguish of the past few months had burdened him with. He felt free in this moment. It was a dangerous and reckless giddy sensation, one he recalled all too well from many points in his life, usually directly preceding an incident which would lead to him being punished. It was the spark of chaos that lived inside of him, always waiting to be fanned to full flame.
Asgard did not know he still lived. It was, therefore, foolish to continue giving displays of magic. Heimdall may not be able to see him, but there were other things and other ways that Asgard may be alerted, especially if they were drawn to look by abilities no human had possessed since the dawn of time. A lack he felt pity for. He could not imagine being so bereft of the life energy that connected him to Yggdrasil itself.
"Are you afraid of heights, Darcy?"
He asked the question in a low and teasing voice, somehow intimate between them, even as his long fingers curled around hers. He was yet unsure why he had chosen to bring her along, other than she was the first real friend he could claim as his own. She had no reason to hold loyalty to him over Thor, no reason to keep his secrets, and yet she did. That touched him more than he would ever admit, and had only deepened the enjoyment he already felt in her company.