fossilised | I come from a land of ice and snow

I come from a land of ice and snow

Asgard sat atop the branches of Yggdrasil since time began, and little had changed in their society in the years since. Each Asgardian was long-lived into the millennia, their lands were fertile, their people brave and strong. They had their vassals, their allies, and their enemies. Yet even those who opposed them respected the might of the Golden Dias, and the royalty who sat upon it. Currently that was Odin Borson, though he grew weary more easily now and had begun to consider passing the throne to his eldest son.

He had been blessed with many children, but only two that he considered worthy of his lineage and status. His firstborn, Thor, strong and honourable and everything an Asgardian warrior should be. His second son, Loki, was not natural born, though none knew that but his wife. He was different, a creature of magic and mayhem, of sharp intelligence. Both were worthy, but together they would take Asgard to a new prosperity, he was certain of it.

Midgard, where the mortals dwelt, was a land raided every few centuries for stock. It was seen as a breeding ground, much like a corral for cattle. Mortals were lesser, short-lived and weak, they were fit only as slaves. The last raid had taken place when Loki had been but a baby, nearly a thousand years ago, but the mortals that had been taken had been bred and cared for so that a healthy slave population still thrived. Slaves were given a weakened mixture of Idunn's crop with their food, to extend their natural lives to at least a few centuries in order to make them worth the effort to train. They had no rights, but they were taught well that this was their natural position.

All slave children were raised in a central pen and taught the same when small, those that then displayed talent at cooking, riding, hunting, housework, artisan skills, or singing were then measured off to be specially trained for higher masters. Every five years those who could afford to buy a slave, or those of high enough status to simply demand them, came to the corral and chose. Those who were chosen were special, were envied, and those who were not ended up working the fields out in the far reaches of Asgard, the most menial of work.

Anthony and Steven had been friends since they were little and being raised in the large pens together. Both had excelled, Anthony at crafting and Steven at warrior's skills, but neither were chosen when they were five, nor ten, nor even fifteen. Now, at twenty, it was their final chance to be chosen before they would be assigned to one of the meanest farmers beyond the borders of the great capital. Steven woke Anthony as the dawn rose, mingled excitement and nerves on his face.

"Anthony! Wake up, I've got news! I heard the overseer talking to one of the passing guards, and Princes Thor and Loki are coming to the corral today."

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Though he had been testing to see what she might do, what he really wanted to know was her continued interest in him. He had plenty to do otherwise. There was armor to work on, after all, and probably maintenance to that skiff too. But why work when there was an alien princess wanting to polish your knob for you?

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, inspecting the girl critically.

"I do actually have a full harem that I need to keep satisfied. They're going to be jealous if I keep picking you," he teased, since it was obvious he had no one else. Whatever tugging he felt towards Banner was pale compared to this.

"Then they would be fools to be jealous, the only way to oust someone from favour is to better yourself so that you become their superior."

She knew he did not have a harem, but it amused her to think of a large cabal of women all working on their bedsport skills in order to be desirable to Tony. He was a fine man, but he was no Adonis, and she would honestly be surprised if she ever learned that he had been quite the ladykiller back on his Midgard.

"Must I change myself again for you?"

She was beginning to understand why he had asked her to appear older before, though it still seemed almost nonsensical as she would always be the same age no matter what she appeared to be.

"Having sex with a little girl is still a little weird," Tony said bluntly. There was only so much he could use to get over the visual of a twelve year old girl in bed with him. Being built like a boy wasn't a problem for him. Being hairless was normal anyway since women tended to like to look Infantile. Loki would be married in a year, was smarter and more mature than most, and had quickly become his partner in crime and sidekick.

However. She still looked like a kid. Not just jailbait the way almost 18 year olds looked, either. And Tony wasn't into that.

"Don't think of it as changing so much as putting on a costume. With big tits."

Loki shook her head, sometimes men were very confusing with the things they wanted, but she had heard that those of the other sex had very specific tastes in bed partner more often than not. Only a certain hair colour, or an exact height, that sort of thing. So she obligingly created her adult persona again, this time with larger breasts as Tony seemed to want that.

"Careful, Tony, do not call me a little girl again or we may have our second row. I am near a woman grown and about to be wed, not some child barely out of swaddling."

Not that they would know it, but they may not get a chance to enjoy one another that evening. Something terrible approached in the form of a long-dormant trap laid out on this world for many years, about to be triggered by Bruce.

"But if we fight again, does that make the make up sex twice as good?" Tony grinned, beckoning the now-fully grown woman into his lap. His hands wandered, rubbing against her ample hips as he tilted back his head for a kiss.

Tony was nothing if not sensual. He might be known for wild sex parties but the truth was far more tame. He liked things slow. And he preferred one partner to anything else. His attention span happened to be low and if split too many times, he could lose interest all together.

His hands moved up Loki's back to her hair and he lifted his hips invitingly before FRIDAY snapped his focus from the princess to tell him that there was a code green.

Loki did not know what a code green was and she was already enjoying the friction between them, so she merely mumbled against the soft skin of his throat that he should ignore his mechanical companion for now. Whatever had happened could surely wait just a short while as they had their fun...

"Sir, Dr. Banner is holding off the code green as best he can, but I predict his chances of success are at only eleven percent and dropping rapidly. He is two miles out from the main camp, but his closest source of human life would be the children's building."

Not exactly ideal...

"What?" Tony didn't stop touching Loki but he did jerk his head back. "What's he doing so far out of the city-- damn it. Lok... Lok you have to get up. I have to go. He needs me." You don't just abandon your bestie. Even if your new bestie has a great rack and is willing to maybe go down on you if you show her how to do it.

He tried to budge Loki off of his lap before looking up at her.

"Actually. Need your help. Banner turns into a giant, unstoppable rage beast if he gets worked up. Pretty sure he got worked up. Can you help... Oh god.. And after you can put your hands back there?"

Unfortunately for Tony, Loki had heard him use hyperbole when he spoke one too many times and she assumed that he was being dramatic. That something minor would have happened and his friend losing his temper counted as turning into a giant, unstoppable rage beast. Perhaps Tony aught to be less exaggerated when he talked normally, for Loki was not taking this seriously, though she did get off at the budge for she did not want to continue bed play with an unwilling partner.

"We will see if after I still wish to put my hands there, this depends on the severity of the problem that has arisen. Though it is kind of you to wish to go so urgently to a friend in need."

"Sir," interrupted FRIDAY. "Estimated time to full code green less than two minutes, the armour is on its way."

Seriously, Tony set his hands on suddenly much more diminutive shoulders and then reached up to cup Loki's neck. "People are probably going to die," he said. "If I can't get him to calm down, it's going to be back. So follow my lead here. Don't speak to him. I'm not telling you to stay hidden but you might want to so he doesn't feel threatened-- And be ready to try to help me pin him down until he tires himself out.... He can't die. I'll explain it all later."

He suit was there a moment later and once it had scooped Tony up, an image from the satellite that Tony left in orbit as an early warning device against Asgard popped up to the left of his HUD. "Shit. Get me there," Tony said. "Set me down behind there... I'll walk out. Be ready to come and get me if he goes full Hulk."

"Yes boss," FRIDAY complied and off Tony went.

Bruce had been scouting out of the main compound for anything interesting that they could use, he had inadvertently stepped over a sort of mine that shot him full of enough adrenaline to kill about twenty men. Not that he was dead, but he was struggling... a lot.

As soon as he realised that in reaction to the threat the Other Guy was well and truly awake, Bruce had started running in the opposite direction of their settlement, all the while desperately trying to take deep breaths and calm himself. But by the time Tony touched down, Bruce was on his hands and knees in the dirt. His skin had a green tinge to it, and he was muttering aloud to himself.

"No-- No, you can't... think. Focus. Pi is 3.14159265358... uh...97932384626433... god, focus. Focus! 83279... is it five? Six? Shit."

"Who knows Pi passed the first two decimal places these days," Tony asked, stepping out of the brush without his armor on like some magical angle. He was calm, in a t-shirt and sneakers and still someone looked like he was just in a photoshoot for a watch or some new sort of fun but classy liquor brand. He ended up crouching down just out of reach of Banner, fingers loosely laced together, and watched him groaning and rocking. "Also. It's 8."

He didn't try to touch him.

"What happened?" FRIDAY had secured a scan of Bruce along the way and the prognosis wasn't good. Neither was the usual treatment of downers, however. Tony just wanted to know where he'd gotten a hold of those direct drugs when this was an abandoned for centuries planet no longer in Asgardian databases. And he should have been more careful with their own supply of stimulants.

If he could get Bruce to focus on him, however, maybe he could actually fight this before he killed them all.

Bruce groaned aloud when Tony appeared, terror painting his face. He liked Tony, he really did, but he didn't want the man near him right now. He didn't want anyone near him, that would only bring the chances higher of him hurting someone. But then an idea occurred to him. He ignored the question asked of him, focusing on holding on for long enough for this idea to work.

"Your armour can fly without you in it. Make it take me far away, fast as it can. Now, Tony. Now!"

He knew that he was losing the battle, he knew that the Hulk was well and truly awake and that Bruce's fear was only adding to the problem. It was a matter of when rather than if now.

It was a good idea. And it would completely destroy the armor. Tony wasn't really prepared for that. So instead, he spoke into his watch (very Double-O) and asked Loki if she knew of any places, preferably tropical, that they could teleport Banner to and drop him off for a mini vacation. If not, then it was back to scooping Banner up and flying him to the other side of the small planet as quick as possible until the Hulk destroyed it but hopefully got himself busy with King Konging long abandoned buildings.

Having Loki work her magic might be the quickest way around this but that didn't mean that he was stupid enough not to have his backups.

The Hulk was frighteningly clever. Rage monster or not, he had more wit than most normal people.

Bruce didn't really want to involve anyone else in this, but he didn't have a chance to say no before Loki was appearing and putting her hand on his arm in order to do as Tony said and teleport him. But she couldn't, she didn't get a chance. The feel of something alien, something powerful, touching him was the last push that the Hulk needed.

"RUN!"

It was the last word out of Bruce's mouth before any words became a roar as his body began to change rapidly, growing and changing hue right in front of Loki's astonished eyes. She was so surprised and so intrigued that she didn't even move from where she was still stood with her hand on his ever-growing arm.

Running from the Hulk was about as good as not running from the Hulk. The options were exactly none. But FRIDAY had been calibrated for this scenario and the armor shot out of nowhere, heading towards Tony.

"Get Loki out of here," he commanded the armor and hit the dirt as it swooped overhead to almost tackle Loki and envelop the girl in metal. If she was already stuck, wide eyed, watching Banner transform, Tony didn't trust her to do much else right now.

Suit and princess took off, leaving him there to wait for the second armor to arrive. It wasn't too far, but all the Hulk had to do was pick him up and throw him and he'd be dead. Tony knew the risks as he sat back on his heels and just watched the Hulk angrily rip at trees and grass. Banner had fought too hard to keep him in this time and the adrenaline fueled his anger more than anything else could.

Maybe that would distract him from Tony?

The Hulk bellowed his rage out to the sky, a bestial cry that could be heard for miles and made every other creature, no matter how much of a predator it usually was, hunker down in its den with fear. There was nothing on any world that could properly stand up to the Hulk, not in full flow, and being kept contained for so long really did have him in full flow.

He snatched at the armour as it flew off with Loki, like a man swatting a persistent fly, but only just managed to clip one leg. Then intelligent eyes zeroed in on Tony and the Hulk began a lumbering pace towards him, not the rapid and terrifying charge he could do, but more the casual enjoyment of someone who knew there was no escape for his prey.

He wanted to smash.

Tony sighed.

“You know, I probably deserve this. How Tony Got His Groove Back was probably a hundred times in the wrong. Now, here’s where I would normally blame Banner for pushing me away, but, and don’t take this as some sort of self revelation, but maybe I’ve grown a little. So I’m going to just fully accept my role in this. The only real thing that I regret is that he’s going to beat himself up over this. Thankfully, he’s the sort that just keeps going on going. Not that he’d got a choice, right? That’s where you come in, big guy. Man. I’ve been wanting to meet you for so long. I’ve seen all of your YouTube videos. Totally a subscriber. I’d follow you on Twitter if you tweeted. Guess I’d have to make you a larger phone. Big thumbs, small screens? Not an ideal combination.”

He did get himself to his feet though. Slowly. He didn’t want to provoke the Hulk in any way. For a guy who really should be terrified of what was coming, Tony might as well be the exact opposite. His eyes were clear as he watched the beast approach.

“So just one question before you smash me? Did you call yourself the Hulk or did someone name you that? Love the branding either way.”

The Hulk was used to people screaming and running when he approached, or if they had guns, then firing on him as if that would ever do any good. He had never before had someone just stand there and talk to him as if they were friends. He wasn't stupid, contrary to popular belief, he was just-- very angry.

He stopped about two feet from Tony, literally dwarfing him in every respect. Videos could never do justice to the sheer size and power of the Hulk, but he still didn't attack even though one blow would quite easily kill the puny little human in front of him.

A low snort followed by a curious expression were what did happen.

"Hulk is hulk."

He just was. Rare words spoken, usually he didn't bother.

In over his head sort of literally, Tony’s eyes lifted until he had to actually tilted his head back to keep looking at the beast looming over him. He could just react out and touch him, he was so close, but that would be certain death. This wasn’t the time to fanboy something, but Jesus, Tony was fanboying the heck out of the guy right now. The Hulk was magnificent. No one else might share that assessment, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. The Hulk was potentially the most impressive scientific incident to have ever been created in their lifetimes.

And Banner just did not appreciate it! Okay, understandably so, but c’mon. He had to respect his own genius.

“So what you’re saying is that the whole What Came First, Egg or Chicken thing doesn’t really matter? Huh.” He ran his tongue across his upper teeth in thought. “I guess that’s true. You are who you are. No one else can claim that the same way you can. I’m a little jealous. So what’re your plans for the day?”

Tony was pretty sure he knew the answer, but hey, who had conversations with the Hulk? No one!

Was he being mocked?

The Hulk didn't really do conversation, his was more the intelligence of cunning, not a wordsmith. Tony spoke a lot of words very quickly and not all of them made a lot of sense, but that last question had his brow furrowing in annoyance once more. Why would he be asked that question.

"Smash."

It was what he did. Smashing the world to make it as broken and destroyed as he was, a way to draw out the anger that always boiled inside him and threatened to consume him if he didn't let it out to lash out at others.

"Sir," that would be FRIDAY in his ear. "Please brace for impact, your secondary armour will be arriving in approximately seventeen seconds."

Seventeen seconds was a long time. Too long. All the Hulk had to do was lean forward, an act that would take one second, and he’d be dead. Tony exhaled through his nose and tried arching his eyebrows at the beast. “Can I help?”

Three words. Simple. And with a simple meaning too. All he needed to do was reach through this all and pray that he lived for the armor to arrive…and that the Hulk wasn’t suddenly distracted or angered by the armor once it did. He couldn’t tell FRIDAY to hold off, not yet. And he was pretty sure the whole thing was just a lost cause anyway. He was equally afraid that Rogers and Co would be here any time now too. That would be just as bad.

Can he help smash?

This little human was the most confusing thing that the Hulk had ever met. He thought for a long time, the seconds stretching on, and when he did eventually open his mouth it was just in time for the armour to appear. He roared in sudden surprise and anger, the human had tricked him.

Now it was personal.

What had been a beast at rest now became a predator on the charge, and the Hulk was extraordinarily fast for his size. He snatched out at the red and gold to try and grab him from the air like a little tin doll.

Yeah. Great timing. They were having a report there! Tony twisted in the air and directed his beams towards the rubble ahead of him, blasting it and a lot of dirt out of the ground with it. "How else am I supposed to smash?" Tony called, the face plate flipping up. "I'm just a puny human!"

To show his commitment to the cause, he blasted a tree right in two and swooped down close to the Hulk.

"So what do you say? Can I smash with you?"

Unfortunately for Tony, the Hulk was now far too enraged to listen to conversation or logic. Snarling loudly, he leaped a good twenty feet up and forward to make another grab for the armour. He wanted to pull it apart piece by piece and then smash the little man inside onto the ground until he was nothing more than a paste.

It was like someone trying to snatch a particularly annoying gnat out of the air. He was fast, but so was Tony, so it might just be sheer luck as to which one of them prevailed at this point.

But at least he was coming mainly for Tony and not setting his sights on the village again?

Damn. And he'd almost made a new friend!

Tony was better than fast, he was strategic. When it became obvious that the Hulk was no longer interested in friendly conversation, Tony jetted up and down, left and right, and pretty much slowly led him away from the city. He needed to tire him out, and he could that by giving him a lot to smash while attempting to smash him.

The buildings were great for this and Tony banked and weaved between the remains of houses, all covered in plants or ash from the Asgardian carnage centuries before.

"Boss, this is a bad idea," FRIDAY said calmly, leaving Tony to roll his eyes.

"No, sending the armor was a bad idea but it's done now so all we can do is make--" He had to dodge a hand. "The most of it."

Thankfully, FRIDAY's ability to predict the Hulk's movements came in handy and she flashed likely scenarios across his HUD, keeping Tony one step ahead.

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