For John Watson

[howdull]

[Sherlock is still finding pieces of the melted laptop in the carpet.

It had actually been quite an ingenious booby trap to be devised by a fourteen year old boy with only household chemicals to work with but, as Sherlock surmised, rather overkill to keep his mother from finding his extensive porn collection. Not one of their more illustrious cases, but it had been quite entertaining to watch both the boy and mother's faces as he revealed that he did know the how and why. He lost interest after the mother started shouting and John started shouting and the whole thing turned tedious.

He rather thinks John won't actually be doing a full write-up of this one on his blog.

It's been two days since their last case and he's beginning to get more than a little antsy. Lestrade has sent him nothing, just a boring hit and run that he refused to even leave the flat for, and nobody interesting has appeared through the blog. Said blog he is currently scrolling through on John's laptop, having borrowed it again.

He did ask, it's not his fault John hadn't been in the room at the time.]

Bored, John.

[He doesn't even know if his flatmate is even in, but that's hardly a necessity for him to actually speak to John. Frustrated, he throws the laptop across the room to hit the wall, where it summarily breaks. Which is where he can be found whenever John appears, sulking amidst pieces of laptop, both from the melted one of their last case and John's poor broken one.]

Comments

[howdull]

That's as may be, but this is still what I'd strongly recommend.

[His tone of voice says that he doesn't think much to whatever medic checked this man over and didn't admit him.]

You're within your rights to refuse, but you've come here for our help and that's how we can best help you. They can give you something for the pain up there and really make sure everything is healing as it should be.

[jumpthegun]

[He was ordered here and complied to get information. John considers just leaving and lying to Lestrade, but that's likely to go over poorly when he's inevitably caught out. John grits his teeth, tone mutinous.]

Fine. I'm keeping my clothes, though. They always get stolen or lost in hospital.

[Maybe that sounds paranoid, but he doesn't much care right now. It's true.]

[howdull]

That's fine, the staff in the burn ward can give you a bag to put them in when you get a gown, okay?

[He steps back a bit and fiddles with a pager on his waist.]

Just take a seat back in the waiting room and someone will come for you in a few minutes.

[jumpthegun]

Thank you.

[It's curt, but he knows this isn't actually the man's fault. He's trying to be a good doctor. Maybe once he gets up to the burn ward he can convince them the bloke was being over-cautious. John puts his shirt back on and stalks from the room. Once he's out in the waiting room, he takes a seat again and starts drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair and watching the clock.

That's not going to be terribly effective in making time pass more quickly, though, so he takes out his phone and texts Sherlock.]

FROM: JOHN
TO: SHERLOCK

They're sending me to burn ward. Will try to avoid overnight stay. Have you got anything from Lestrade about Jim? Said he interviewed him. Arrested???

[howdull]

[Sherlock doesn't reply right away, and the orderly from the burn ward doesn't take too long to arrive. She's brought a wheelchair, as is standard, and she stops it in front of him with a kindly smile.]

You're John Watson, right? Up you get and in the chair, let's get you looked at, okay? My name is Sandra, and we'll have you feeling better in no time.

[She's speaking to him in an overly cheerful voice, like he's a proper invalid.]

[jumpthegun]

[Standard procedure. It's standard procedure. Don't let it get to you. John stands and pockets his phone.]

I can walk, Sandra. Thank you.

[It might be standard procedure, but he doesn't need it and he's not sitting in that damn wheelchair.]

[howdull]

I'm afraid it's health and safety. I'm sure that you can, but we're liable if you do fall and hurt yourself more.

[This is hospital policy, she's not going to budge.]

It won't be for long, you'll be in a bed before you know it.

[jumpthegun]

I don't even have any money to sue you people. I've been running around all morning and managed somehow not to trip over my own feet.

[It's not her fault, and he shouldn't be taking this out on her, but the indignity on top of the waste of time that he views all of this as really isn't helping his temper or his patience.]

[howdull]

[A few of the other patients in the waiting room have started to look over to see what's happening. Sandra just tries to stay calm and conciliatory, she'd rather not have to involve anyone else in this.]

Alright, I know it can seem a bit dumb, but it's just procedure, it's not personal. Everyone has to do it, can you please sit down?

[jumpthegun]

[It's more other people looking over that has John complying than any real desire to save Sandra the trouble. Causing a scene is just going to get him stuck here for even longer.]

I don't need a chair.

[It's stated one more time for the record and the room at large before John sits down and does his best to look like he's ready to hop up at a moment's notice. It's a bit agonizing to sit up straight and stiff, but he does it. He'll only tolerate sitting in the wheelchair until they're arrived at their destination. John won't wait for her to tell him to get up, he just will. Maybe looking a few shades paler than before, a light sheen of sweat on his brow as he breathes shallowly.]

[howdull]

[She's so glad that she's just tasked with bringing him here, because he's clearly going to be a stubborn and difficult patient. What kind of idiot sits bolt upright in pain just to prove a point?]

There's a gown right there, this will be your bed, and the curtains shut if you want some privacy. The doctor will be along as soon as possible, but it might be a bit of a wait, okay?

[Just say okay so that she can go, please.]

[jumpthegun]

It's always a wait.

[Growled under his breath. He meets her eye when he next speaks, though.]

The longer I'm waiting here, the more people are in danger. You might want to let the doctor know that. There's a pair of psychopaths with bombs who're trying to destroy my life. Everyone else around me is collateral to them.

[As soon as the words are out he realizes just how mental that sounds.]

You can confirm that with Detective Inspector Lestrade. He's in the building. I'm not mad.

[howdull]

I'm sure you're not.

[She's definitely going to make sure to alert the doctor on call that he might need a psychiatric consult as well.]

I'll be sure to go and find the Inspector and talk to him, so don't you worry about anything. Just keep calm and get into bed.

[Why is it always her that has to deal with the crazies on shift?]

[jumpthegun]

[He knows that tone and it's galling.]

There's Molly Hooper, too, She's a patient here. She came in after nearly being blown up by one of them this morning. And Sherlock Holmes should've just been in for an exam. He was kidnapped and poisoned earlier this week.

[Look at these very specific names he has! John knows it's something of a losing battle to try to convince this woman when his life the past ten days has been insane.]

I'll put the gown on and lie down, but it'd be better for you lot if you let me out today.

[howdull]

Nobody is keeping you here against your will, you have the ultimate right of your own care and can discharge yourself any time you want. We don't advise it, but we're not legally allowed to stop you.

[She backs up towards the door.]

I will check with the people you've named, okay?

[Definitely a psychiatric evaluation needed.]

[jumpthegun]

[John takes half a step toward her before realizing that that's really not going to help. He just rolls his eyes and turns his attention to the gown that's been laid out for him. He really hates this. It's a process to remove his clothes, but he makes sure they're folded and set within easy reaching distance on a bedside table once he's put on the gown.

Lying down on his side isn't all that comfortable, but he's aware that on his back or on his stomach is going to be even worse. He grabs his phone and texts Lestrade.]

FROM: JOHN
TO: LESTRADE

I'm in Room 313 in the burn ward. Please come up here so they don't try to give me a psych eval, as well as the rest of this nonsense. I want to know what happened with Jim. I'm checked in. Happy?

[howdull]

[There's no response by the phone, but about five minutes later an extremely grumpy looking Lestrade strides into the room and flops into the chair beside John's bed.]

I hate both of you, have I said that yet today?

[He could have had a nice boring job, no crazy consulting detectives or stubborn ex-soldier doctors.]

[jumpthegun]

Feeling's mutual.

[Right at this very moment, it's extremely mutual. John is lying down, sheets pulled up to preserve what dignity he can in a hospital gown.]

Did you arrest Jim?

[He's fulfilled his side of this ridiculous bargain. It's Lestrade's turn now.]

[howdull]

Tried to.

[He lacks the energy to keep fighting back, and at least John has fulfilled his part of this bargain.]

But then the spooks arrived and took him off, there was nothing I could do about it, they had the right paperwork.

[jumpthegun]

Mycroft.

[It's accompanied by a noise of frustration.]

Did you even interrogate him, or am I in here for no reason?

[You have to give him something. John's half-tempted to get up, get dressed and stalk out if he went through all of this just to be told Lestrade has nothing. He won't, but he'll think very hard about it.]

[howdull]

I managed to question him for a while before MI6 arrived, but I'm not sure how much useful I got.

[He sighs and runs a hand over his face.]

I got that same impression from him as I get when I'm in a room with Sherlock, like I'm just some bug being examined under a genius' microscope, and that scares me. He flat out admitted to the bombing, but he claims it was the act of a jilted ex-boyfriend.

[jumpthegun]

Bastard.

[John's fingers clench into a fist. His anger is no longer directed at Lestrade, at least, it's back on Jim where it belongs.]

He knows there's Molly and me to testify that's absolute nonsense, right?

[He can't figure out the logic, the game. Does the man think he can just buy everyone off? Maybe he can get John's testimony discredited as the ravings of a mentally compromised man, but there's no case to make there for Molly.]

[howdull]

I got the idea that he was just playing with me, making up a story as he went along. I think he knew, somehow, that the spooks would come for him.

[That isn't an encouraging thought.]

I don't know what they want with him, or what they'll do with him. Wish I did.

[jumpthegun]

Lock him up and throw away the key, if we're lucky.

[Or put a bullet through his head if they're really lucky.]

Think he's the one who's been facilitating Caroline more than the other way 'round. Sherlock said there's been some break in the pattern. The letters don't make sense. A is for Alcoholic, B is for Baker Street, C is for Consulting Detective. Those ones make sense. She's taking things away from me that she lost, her family, her friends, her home. D is for Dishonor or Disgrace and E was for Estranged. Her husband was honorably discharged, though. And estrangement doesn't make much sense, either. That's what we were talking about before you turned up.

Did you find him at the canteen?

[howdull]

Yeah.

[His expression sours significantly and immediately.]

I told him my terms, same as you, and he agreed right away. Should've known it was too good to be true. He went into the damn consultation room, told them about his fits, and then did his-- Sherlock thing until the nurse was crying and the doctor told him that he was reserving the right to refuse to treat him in line with NHS policy. Smug bastard told me to tell you that he'll collect his prize later as he was being escorted off the premises.