Loki (
throneenvy) wrote in
fossilised2017-05-15 01:29 pm
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I come from a land of ice and snow
Asgard sat atop the branches of Yggdrasil since time began, and little had changed in their society in the years since. Each Asgardian was long-lived into the millennia, their lands were fertile, their people brave and strong. They had their vassals, their allies, and their enemies. Yet even those who opposed them respected the might of the Golden Dias, and the royalty who sat upon it. Currently that was Odin Borson, though he grew weary more easily now and had begun to consider passing the throne to his eldest son.
He had been blessed with many children, but only two that he considered worthy of his lineage and status. His firstborn, Thor, strong and honourable and everything an Asgardian warrior should be. His second son, Loki, was not natural born, though none knew that but his wife. He was different, a creature of magic and mayhem, of sharp intelligence. Both were worthy, but together they would take Asgard to a new prosperity, he was certain of it.
Midgard, where the mortals dwelt, was a land raided every few centuries for stock. It was seen as a breeding ground, much like a corral for cattle. Mortals were lesser, short-lived and weak, they were fit only as slaves. The last raid had taken place when Loki had been but a baby, nearly a thousand years ago, but the mortals that had been taken had been bred and cared for so that a healthy slave population still thrived. Slaves were given a weakened mixture of Idunn's crop with their food, to extend their natural lives to at least a few centuries in order to make them worth the effort to train. They had no rights, but they were taught well that this was their natural position.
All slave children were raised in a central pen and taught the same when small, those that then displayed talent at cooking, riding, hunting, housework, artisan skills, or singing were then measured off to be specially trained for higher masters. Every five years those who could afford to buy a slave, or those of high enough status to simply demand them, came to the corral and chose. Those who were chosen were special, were envied, and those who were not ended up working the fields out in the far reaches of Asgard, the most menial of work.
Anthony and Steven had been friends since they were little and being raised in the large pens together. Both had excelled, Anthony at crafting and Steven at warrior's skills, but neither were chosen when they were five, nor ten, nor even fifteen. Now, at twenty, it was their final chance to be chosen before they would be assigned to one of the meanest farmers beyond the borders of the great capital. Steven woke Anthony as the dawn rose, mingled excitement and nerves on his face.
"Anthony! Wake up, I've got news! I heard the overseer talking to one of the passing guards, and Princes Thor and Loki are coming to the corral today."
He had been blessed with many children, but only two that he considered worthy of his lineage and status. His firstborn, Thor, strong and honourable and everything an Asgardian warrior should be. His second son, Loki, was not natural born, though none knew that but his wife. He was different, a creature of magic and mayhem, of sharp intelligence. Both were worthy, but together they would take Asgard to a new prosperity, he was certain of it.
Midgard, where the mortals dwelt, was a land raided every few centuries for stock. It was seen as a breeding ground, much like a corral for cattle. Mortals were lesser, short-lived and weak, they were fit only as slaves. The last raid had taken place when Loki had been but a baby, nearly a thousand years ago, but the mortals that had been taken had been bred and cared for so that a healthy slave population still thrived. Slaves were given a weakened mixture of Idunn's crop with their food, to extend their natural lives to at least a few centuries in order to make them worth the effort to train. They had no rights, but they were taught well that this was their natural position.
All slave children were raised in a central pen and taught the same when small, those that then displayed talent at cooking, riding, hunting, housework, artisan skills, or singing were then measured off to be specially trained for higher masters. Every five years those who could afford to buy a slave, or those of high enough status to simply demand them, came to the corral and chose. Those who were chosen were special, were envied, and those who were not ended up working the fields out in the far reaches of Asgard, the most menial of work.
Anthony and Steven had been friends since they were little and being raised in the large pens together. Both had excelled, Anthony at crafting and Steven at warrior's skills, but neither were chosen when they were five, nor ten, nor even fifteen. Now, at twenty, it was their final chance to be chosen before they would be assigned to one of the meanest farmers beyond the borders of the great capital. Steven woke Anthony as the dawn rose, mingled excitement and nerves on his face.
"Anthony! Wake up, I've got news! I heard the overseer talking to one of the passing guards, and Princes Thor and Loki are coming to the corral today."
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A small smile touched his lips, here and gone in a moment, before he turned away from that picture to where a broken cinefilm projector was playing a jarring loop of a few seconds of Steve waving at a crowd rather than the full movie it was meant to play.
"They'd be proud to know we were still fighting to save the world, even if we hoped it would be saved after that war."
And at least none of them would have lived to experience the terror these days had brought.
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Steve stayed stoic as he ripped the glass, humidity and temperature controlled case containing his old uniform right out of the display. No alarms sounded. The electricity hadn't been cut off, but the alarm system was by the EMP caused by the aftershocks of the bombs dropped over this city after the Asgardian ravaged it.
He carried the case with him, passed the displays of his old sketchbooks, two of which were opened to pages of Bucky Barnes and two more each of Peggy. Peggy's images were beautiful, but also sincerely platonic. Steve had too much respect to show her the way that might dishonor her image. He didn't flaunt how beautiful he found her, how kissable her lips looked--
But the sketches of Bucky?
Those were almost embarrassingly intimate. There was even a little memorial plaque states that the images were of Steve Rogers' best friend, drawn during war time, and that many of the images, which could be found online at the museum's website, during this time period were of the realities of war as depicted on the face of his childhood friend.
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There were also, of course, those who adamantly opposed those theories and there had even been controversy in the past where extremist Christians had picketed a college teaching that theory, denouncing them for smearing the name of one of America's greatest heroes. Bucky didn't know any of that, all he knew was that the sketchbooks caught his eye and he couldn't leave them, metal fist leaving shards of glass everywhere so that he could tuck both into his jacket.
"...let's get back, we need to get out towards the survivors as soon as possible. I know this looks awful, but there's still hope. That moon we found is incredibly sustainable with energy and places to grow food. We can start over, figure it out."
Humanity wouldn't die because of this.
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The headstart didn't end up helping Steve win the race, he was too bogged down by the heavy case that he nearly dropped inside the skiff before he caught himself on a large golden metal beam to keep from crashing.
A plastic shower curtain of sorts had been set up between the hold and the rest of the skiff and Tony's voice gave just one warning before Bucky and Steve were drenched in fluid to remove and wash away the lingering radioactive particles on their clothes and skin: "Hold your breath, guys."
He wa eating freeze dried blueberries in Bruce' lab, sitting on a console that had not been torn out, and watched Steve and Bucky fight against the shock of the cold shower.
"Probably should have warmed it," he grinned at Bruce and offered him the bag.
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Pausing in the middle of sorting through what medical equipment there was, he glanced up at the screen and grinned in return, though he didn't take the blueberry offered to him.
"Careful, annoy them too much and you might end up having to ask me for a set of false teeth when they knock yours clean out."
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Tony leaned forward on the button the transmit what he was saying to the laughing, horse playing super soldiers.
"Hey guys, got one more stop before we go and see what Barton's been hiding from us. There's an arc reactor sunk into the Bay and if Rogers gets his fancy frills, I want mine too." There was just a prototype of his armor at the old Tower, but Tony could do a lot with just a prototype.
As the shower shut off, Steve shook his head to clear his ears and wiped the water from his face, hair slicked back. "You could have saved the bath for after the errand!"
Tony grinned at Bruce. "Oops."
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"You should put me through that shower now," he said, as Bucky and Steve prepared to go off on the new mission for Tony once he got them a bit closer. The armour would probably take both of them to carry, as it wouldn't be operational, JARVIS had been taken out by the EMP, but they could get it.
"Anything else that's needed?" Bucky asked. "We might as well get everything now, it'll be harder once we start to pick people up."
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It took all of twenty minutes in the skiff. The take off and landing took the longest and by then, Tony had a whole laundry list of what the two should be looking for. New York was a total dead city. There were no heat signatures anywhere and no radioactive fall out save for what was in the atmosphere. It was just below maximum levels for a standard person, though, and long term exposure was not recommended. The majority of Steve's and Bucky's mission was to bring back as much of the lab that Tony used to enjoy long days in as possible.
And they did a fairly good job too, enough to keep Tony busy instead of dousing them with another shower immediately upon their return with the large reactor, JARVIS might be gone, after all, but his program was safe. He just would need to be upgraded to a new personality. FRIDAY.
Evidently Tony happened to like various accents from that particular region of the world?
It was late by then, giving Bucky a little time to look at the sketchbooks he had stashed. It had been lucky that the jacket he had been wearing was waterproof and the pages hadn't been damaged at all. With Steve chatting with Banner and Barton angrily stomping around since they needed to get a move on, he'd have some time.
Right up until Tony caught him of course.
"Yanno, I took this class back at MIT once to get better at technical drawing. We actually studied some of Cap's work. Not the portraits. The diagrams of the HYDRA facilities he used to jot down from memory for the top brass. But that? What you have in your hand right there? That was a book my dad left me and as soon as he died I donated it and all of that other junk to the Smithsomian. I always wondered if dad was jealous of you."
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He glanced up when he heard Tony's voice, brows furrowing slightly as he closed the book with his finger marking the place where he had been so that he could go back there when he needed to.
"What do you mean? Why would Howard have been jealous of Steve, because of Peggy?"
He hadn't met Howard all too often, and he definitely didn't want to think about the time that the Soldier had met Howard, but he had thought the man was arrogant and a bit of a jerk, but not that bad. Steve had liked him.
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There weren't many chairs left here, considering the people that they had hoped to pack into the skiff, so Tony took a spot on the floor, nail beds chock full of grease from the hardware he had been working on.
"There's one picture, after the monkey that I drew the rocket pack on, towards the end of the book-- actually I think that might have sparked Stonewall in a way. You'll get to it eventually."
Steve had spent the night drawing Bucky as he slept. It was just the two of them, the lights were down really low and he could barely see anything but a sliver of face and a bare chest with tags. The light ended in a sharp v at Bucky's navel and the image was smudged so heavily with dimensions of charcoal that it looked almost like an underexposed photograph. It was beautiful and real and heartbreaking. But no one knew the story. Or the panic Steve felt when it was finished. He'd even started to tear it out before a siren interrupted him. He never remembered to go back to the book to finish the job. So it was ripped down the edge. No one knew why.
Tony was pretty sure his dad jerked off to the image plenty of times though. Or maybe he just did in Tony's head and wasn't that sort of gross to imagine your dad like that?
He had issues. No one was going to deny him that.
"Hey, don't forget to go all the way to the back. You'll have some ten year old Tony Stark originals. They're worth a pretty penny these days you know?"
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"I think you're imagining things, Tony."
He sat back against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him and light glinting softly from the ridges of his metal arm. He wasn't that far from the man in some of these sketches, a little more serious and a little more muscled, but mostly the same handsome guy.
"Steve's an artist, he drew whatever was around him. That was just me a lot of the time, and I don't see why Howard would be jealous of that."
Bucky did, though, open the sketchbook again to start once more flicking through to see what other secrets this old paper contained. It was good, Steve had always been phenomenal at art, there was no wonder these had made it into a museum. Even if he hadn't been Captain America, he still probably would have ended up in a gallery for art of wartime.
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Tony watched at Bucky flipped through the images, pointing out his contributions as if Bucky couldn't tell the difference in styles.
"He really did draw a wide variety of subjects," Tony commented sarcastically after a moment. This wasn't the book that Steve carried to doodle in. There weren't a lot of images of the Commandos or the general. There weren't maps and brick walls covered in Ivy or tiny towns viewed from hilltops.
This was a little more personal. A lot more personal. And there was a reason Bucky hadn't ever seen it. Not when the topic seemed so singular.
"Oh that one's good. I copied that one a lot. It's hard to draw hands," he smirked as Bucky flipped through a drawing of various parts of himself. Hands, eyes, ears, lips, the back of his neck. His chin. His calves. A study of Bucky Barnes in parts. "Know what? I'm going to let you finish this in peace. We're going in about an hour. That should be enough time for you."
Tony left humming. Not a good sign.
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But then he got to that picture.
The way it was drawn couldn't be described as anything other than erotic, with the attention to detail and the way that the shadow faded in just below his navel where the blanket dipped to only just cover his modesty. He was left staring at it for a long time, at the rip in the page where Steve had obviously started to pull it out.
Why? Was he ashamed? Why didn't he tell Bucky?
He closed up the book and set it to one side, waiting for Steve to reappear before they touched down in the first inhabited area, eyes and expression unreadable, tone of voice measured.
"I've been looking through one of your sketchbooks, Steve."
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So Steve looked back, beautifully sincere in his inability to guess what Bucky had seen or what was going through his mind right now. Steve had no idea that anyone had seen it. He had no idea that it had been the subject of so many books and articles and class discussions. He would have been very embarrassed. At least the page that the museum had chosen to display was just of Bucky in his hat, the picture he'd drawn as Bucky was getting ready for his last night on the town before being shipped off.
"You okay, Buck?"
Had something triggered him? Old drawings from their childhood maybe?
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"Interesting art."
His voice was still very level, even as he continued on.
"Back when I was working for Thor, he ordered me to be your friend and I-- touched you. You only stopped me when you realised I didn't know who you were. Maybe there's something you need to tell me, Steve?"
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He did not take the book. His eyes did not linger on the page. He hadn't seen that in a long time, but he knew what it was and he knew why Bucky was angry with him too. He'd been sloppy, but there was no excuse for it now. Here was the firing squad and a lifetime of a carefully kept secret, one he attempted to cover over with his torch for Peggy Carter, and they were all armed and ready to go.
Steve straightened his shoulders and kept Bucky's eyes even if it looked like he was crumbling inside. He had a stiff upper lip to go with those bright blue eyes turning more and more liquid.
"You're wrong, Buck. I stopped you because that's not who you are. And I'm not taking advantage of anyone." His shoulders slumped, and he finally looked away, down at Bucky's feet. "Now listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. But I was never-- II was never going to allow it ruin our friendship and if I told you..." He sucked in a breath and looked up again, face hard and the tears blinked away. He wasn't going to cry now that he was caught. And he wasn't going to run either. "I was selfish. It was wrong. I will stay away from you."
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But then, he had been wrong too, hadn't he? He had held a torch for his best friend since he was a stupid kid in high school and realised that when he went to touch himself, it was a certain shade of blue eyes that he pictured in bed at night rather than any particular dame. He had lived with it for a long time, and now it turned out neither one of them should have had to live with it.
"I love you."
When he said them, the words were hoarse and a bit scared. Even though he pretty much knew that Steve felt the same way now, it still felt like jumping off a cliff without anything to catch him at the bottom. This was the end of their friendship how it had been, no matter what the outcome was. But he didn't let it stop him, he just looked directly into Steve's eyes and plunged on.
"I never wanted to step out with any dame as much as I wanted to step out with you. You've always been my best guy, Steve, and I'm goddamn angry that it took ninety years to know you felt the same way."
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"What?" No, his hearing hadn't failed him. Yes, his foot had actually slid back as if he'd been hit and was catching himself from falling. His heart felt like it gave out somewhere along the way too and it was just too much for him.
He was eighteen years old again, left an orphan by his mother, and Bucky was sitting on the couch with a hand on his thigh kissing him. It was all real. The Night That Never Happened had happened. The lonely moments of feeling wrong and dirty when Steve drew terrible things instead of touched himself were so much less lonely now knowing that they were shared.
But that didn't mean that Steve was ready to hear any of this. "What?"
He should have been punched by now.
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So he stepped forwards to follow where Steve had nearly fallen flat on his ass and pinned him to the wall to press a sudden and insistent kiss to his lips. This was no chaste kiss, it was desperate and passionate and full of affection, but it only lasted for a few seconds.
"You heard me, Steve. I'm putting it out there, no more hiding. When you figure out what you want, let me know."
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The blond laughed, bashful, a blush across his cheeks and nose, and let his fingers slip down to the palm of Bucky's hand. He knew he could feel it, even if it wasn't flesh. He could feel how gentle Steve's touch was and how respectful it was trying to be.
"Let me try that one again. I just-- I want to make sure that this is really what you want and you're not just telling me everything I've wanted to hear since... Since we were sixteen." There was an earnestness in his eyes that very few people ever had. "And-- And I might need you to pinch me. And... And maybe try that again?"
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Bucky grinned and right there it was like the old Bucky shining through, all charming lopsided smile and intense blue eyes. He didn't try to pull his hand away from Steve, projecting an aura of confidence as if this was exactly what he planned and he wasn't also terrified.
"I've wanted this since I was about twelve. I can remember-- you know that Sunday school we used to go to? I still had a squeaky voice and I asked Miss Henderson why two guys shouldn't love each other and she made me say fifty Hail Marys. Steve, you've always been my best guy, so don't-- don't say you want it unless you're all in."
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"I--"
"Anyone born better the nineteen-twenties, consider this your special invitation to join us," Tony interrupted over the loud speaker, though Steve ignored it and instead lifted his other hand to brush Bucky's cheek with his knuckles.
"I'm all in," Steve promised, backside still against the wall as he drew Bucky back in towards him. He might have spent his late teens and early twenties focused solely on fighting for his country and planning to have a wife so he could be considered normal when Bucky had a bunch of kids with his own wife, but there was never a time that Steve wouldn't want to be with Bucky whole heartedly in any way he could be.
Bucky might have always had his charm, but Steve had the mischievous streak and that was what he needed to pull Bucky back into his arms to kiss him with a breathier sigh that he had kissed Peggy Carter during that chase.
Luckily, this wasn't a lot like dancing. Steve didn't step on any toes. He just closed his eyes and felt is way through it.
"Steven. G. Rogers. Are they ignoring me? They're ignoring me, aren't they?"
"No one blames them, Stark," Barton's voice said before Tony took his finger off of the comm.
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It had been illegal; more than that, men who were found to be like that caused more shame to their families than even people who went to jail for things like theft or getting in a fight. At least those were manly crimes, being found to have perverted urges for another man was a sickness, people went into mental hospitals for treatment for it, and so he had buried it.
Even now, with Steve's lips pressed against his own, a part of him was almost sure they were going to get arrested and dragged up before someone to be punished. But then-- he didn't care. He had been punished so much that one more wouldn't kill him, and at least he would get to have this memory.
"...Steve," it was a murmur against his lips. "Do you-- do you want to keep this for us?"
He wasn't ashamed, but he knew that Steve had an image to maintain, especially if Captain America was going to be the leader of the new world. He'd understand if Steve wanted this to be clandestine, secret, though he would find it hard to keep his hands off now that he'd had a taste.
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He might as well be up front about that. He still had Bucky in his arms, one hand curled against the small of his back and the other at his shoulder because Steve wasn't really sure what role he was supposed to be taking. The last time anything like this had happened, Bucky had been all over him and Steve felt a little like he was along for the ride.
Not that he believed Bucky forced him into anything, he'd wanted to be touched so badly-- But now...now, he sort of towered over his friend and it felt better to be the one leading the dance lesson.
The skiff jolted under their feet. They had landed, and that meant that they had a duty to do. Steve sighed and dropped his hands. "Let's pick this back up tonight."
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"Steve, no."
He reached out and caught hold of Steve again, not allowing the slightly taller man to back away from him. Instead, it was his turn to rest his hand on Steve's lower back, the other one on his hip.
"I just don't want you to be compromised by me. There's nobody else, and if you want to shout it to everyone, then sign me up for the first megaphone."
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