fossilised | I come from a land of ice and snow

Tonight there could be no more. Thor felt as if he had lost everything, he felt as if he had gained that which he could not face, and though he rarely would admit to weakness, he could feel it seeping into his bones. He dismissed Loki with a gesture, not watching him scoop up the casket at his feet, nor trying to stop him. Nothing norw could be said for the evening that would change the course of the conversation and so it was best just to leave it.

Thor undressed himself since James was not there to remind him nor help him with the task. He never needed the assistance but it was a slave's duty and he was not too far above himself to take away the purpose of someone he cared deeply for.

He poured himself water to wash with. He tied back his own hair.

He'd forgotten Steven was here to step in. Steven was always just there. Kind and careful, attentive, but still like furniture compared to James' ability to fill a room.

Steven found that he missed James dearly as well. The more experienced slave had been everything he strove to be, he had been kind, competent, and self assured without ever overstepping his mark. No wonder he had been favoured. And now he had to step into that void, and he felt wholly unprepared. Should he have stepped in and asked his prince to let him help? Had he done the right thing hanging back?

He only knew his master looked saddened now that the Jotun princess had left, carrying the casket once more.

Not that Thor would be allowed much time to rest, for Sif would come to his tent and only barely await being announced before entering. She looked concerned, highly strung.

"Thor, we are all worried that this Jotun sorceress has placed an enchantment on you, you cannot mean to ride with her into Asgard as though she is an ally."

All Thor wanted was a few moments alone. At least Steven was giving him that space, but he could not help but snap when Sif rushed in claiming he was enchanted. He stood again, dwarfing his oldest friend. His initial intent was not to be intimidating, though he was. He simply could not stay seated when accused of being what he was not. “The Jotun—“ He nearly tripped over the word, “has offered proof that the All-Mother has given up the Casket, taken as tribute from Jotunheim, to her. There is little danger in allowing her to accompany us back to Asgard. No sorceress yet has managed to best Queen Frigga. We will keep a wary eye and I shall return her myself under cover of darkness to the city proper to consult with the Queen. It is not open for debate. If you worry so, have Steven bring me a meal and be done with it tonight. I have much to consider.”

He didn’t know if Sif was aware of Odin’s fall and at the moment, he did not wish to discuss it with her. He would have made James his confidant but James could no longer offer advice and he refused to listen to Loki.

That meant it would be Steven to whom this new burden fell, though Thor was silent for a long while as he pushed around his meat and thick gravy with a piece of heavy bread. “Sit, Steve,” he said with a deep rumble. “Sit and keep me company.”

Sif was not afraid of her oldest friend, but she could tell when he could be pushed further and when he could not. Now was not a time to test those limits. She would bow to his decision for now, and she would enlist the Warriors Three in helping her to keep a close eye on that Jotun. Should any harm befall any under their protection, she would be the first to die for it.

But she left the tent with only her fist over her heart for answer.

Steven startled in surprise, but he stepped forwards quickly to sit opposite his master and look over at him with quiet concern in bright blue eyes. He would not fail this first test.

"Say the word, my prince, and I will do anything I can to ease your sorrows."

James would have offered some friendly banter, perhaps cracked a joke or two, but Steven had been with him for half a century, and that wasn’t time enough to know him. Especially considering that Thor had had absolutely no time for anyone other than James. He’d poured his attention into the Midgardian and James disseminated the orders when need be. There was no longer that buffer there.

He set his plate aside, food half eaten, and lowered piercing blue eyes down upon someone that could never compare to his predecessor. That wasn’t fair for Steven, but Thor didn’t try to be fair to lesser beings. They all knew their place in this society and Midgardians, while useful, were a dime a dozen. Loki might have picked out the hypocrisy in that, considering whom it was Thor was lamenting most, but Loki was not here and the subject of another thorn in his side.

“I have learned just now that I am acting All-Father as my father has fallen to Odin-sleep, that my brother was adopted, and that my mother may have been conspirator in this.” He did not mention James. “I am alone, Steven. My secrets must stay mine, though I long to confide in my friends. I need a distraction.”

Wow, that was... a whole lot to take in. Steven didn't answer right away, he always thought that a rash head could lead to bad decisions and people getting hurt. Instead, he thought it through. When he did reply, his voice was firm with conviction, yet sympathetic too, slightly overstepping the polite bounds of slave.

"The All-Father is a strong man, I am sure this period of Odin-Sleep will not last for long, and it will give you the chance to test yourself before you have to take the throne for real. But for Prince Loki-- why should it matter who his natural parents are? Your natural mother is not Queen Frigga, but you do not love her any less for it. Why should it change your feelings on Prince Loki? He is still the same man he was before you knew this."

He hesitated a moment and spread his hands.

"Things like this, finding out truths that we could never contemplate, can knock us off our feet. But they don't need to keep us down."

Thor gruffly managed to answer without answering at all. He made no sound and no movement, but there was a fire in his eyes that should tell Steven he did not care to be coddled. He was not a child. James might have had the privilege of giving him truths but Steven did not yet. And besides, some of those truths were not true. He just could not bring himself to tell anyone, not even a slave, that his brother was prince of a people meant to be subjugated. And he still had no idea why his father kept him on as a child rather than as a bargaining chip and a hostage. It ought to have always been known whom Loki was. It would have united their Realms and brought Jotunheim more quickly to the fold. It was fifty years after Loki officially became full grown, however. If Odin had waited for that. Fine. He just hadn't. And now his father wasn't capable of answering Thor's questions.

"I need a distraction. Not a discussion," Thor said, repeating himself with the additional explanation. That was followed by a hand guiding Steven's with little stealth towards the hefty weight always present within his trousers.

He'd never bedded Steven. The blond had joined him and James in bedsport on occasion when he wished to treat James to a hand or a mouth or a body while he filled him, but he had never taken Steven. The other slaves in his possession had never felt Thor's hand either, though they sometimes enjoyed one another for his pleasure or enjoyed another Asgardian for theirs. Sif was quite fond of Steven and Samuel, for example, and would beckon them to join the fun when spending the night with Thor.

But Thor typically preferred only James... Or at the very least, had James with him over the last twenty or so years whenever the urge to rut in the furs appeared.

Steven should be honoured that his prince wanted to take him to his furs, and he was, but he was also concerned. He had come to love and admire his owner, a true loyalty that any owned slave should aspire to, and he did not think that a distraction would be the best course of action. He had not tried to talk down to Thor, only to give him honest advice.

But that had been the wrong choice.

Though he was still concerned, it was not his place to argue. He immediately began to undo the laces holding Thor's breeches closed, fingers slipping within to cup at the heavy weight of him and massage him into full hardness. However his master wanted to ease his heart tonight, Steven would oblige.

Pent up rage and loss and suffering and energy was best released this way. He might have requested Sif to stay but she could not be allowed a moment more alone with him until they hit the Capitol tomorrow. She was good at prying things from him and she knew that a good way to do that was to give him pleasure and comfort.

He could feel a discharge when it came to pleasure. It let him think more clearly and the body of this slave, while not ideal at the moment, would come to be precious to him for that relief. He took Steven on his side, arms curled around him, knees fitted into the backs of his knees.

He was tight, tighter than his James, and so much softer too. Thor exhaled sharply against the shell of his ear once he was properly seated to the hilt within him and then stroked fingers across his stomach to feel his abdomen ripple with how full Thor had made him.

"Keep me hard," he murmured. He enjoyed the tease and the way that a slave could use their bodies like a mouth and suck against him. "I wish to lay within you awhile more."

Steven would likely know this now that he was experiencing it himself. He had often been tasked to tidy up the chambers while James and Thor laid like this... Sometimes for hours. And often without release for either.

For Thor; it was like a more intimate companionship. And a way to reconnect to James through this surrogate.

Steven had been taken before, of course. He had been given the same training in the slave village as everyone else when he had come of age, and he had been encouraged to continue to use his skills on the others there. He had always been personable, far more so than Anthony, and so he had enjoyed a varied sex life. But he had never experienced anything like this.

No amount of training or witnessing how it had been with James could have prepared him for this. It was pleasure and pain both writ large in a way that overwhelmed him and left him barely able to breathe. He had spilled his seed over his stomach twice just from the stimulation of having his prince inside him, and it was certainly no hardship to obey that request.

His body flexed, muscles massaging around his prince to keep him there, settling in for a long night.

He didn't know if this would actually help with the troubles that his prince had listed to him, but perhaps it would allow him to relax enough to think on them more clearly and find answers for himself. Either way, he was practically radiant with pride to know that he had the acting All-Father inside him now.

It did help him think, it helped him more than Steven might realize. Focusing his attention on one act or one person let his mind sharpen on a particular task. Thor was rarely a brooder, and strategy needed to come from a clear mind, not one scattered on far too many topics.

He pressed a finger between Steven's lips as he released his seed for the second time, feeling the slave shudder around him and try to suckle upon his fingertips as well. He'd not touched the blond, Steven's hands were filled with fur and had no room for himself against his palms. Thor hadn't known men that could enjoy themselves in that way before and he was almost sorry he had been too lost in his thoughts to experience it the first time.

Thor bit possessively at Steven's ear lobe, hard enough to leave a mark. He stretched his fingers into Steven's cheeks as he pulled out of the slave, glistening from the magic all were given during their training to make the going easier for their masters, no matter how they were to be used. He pushed the flushed, quivering slave onto his back and knelt between his legs, pulling Steven's thighs towards him until they were once more connected. This time, Thor did the work.

He encouraged Steven to touch him, to grip his mane if he wished, or dig his nails into his chest as he towered over the splayed slave.

"Have all male slaves learned self pleasure?" he asked, voice husky as skin slapped into skin. "Or are you unique? Show me again how I make you feel, beautiful one." He almost wished he had discovered this before tonight. James would have been amused.

Thor was not gentle. He was not a stoic partner, little more than phallas. Not this time.

"Do not be silent, sweet Steven. Let me hear your voice."

That was another easy order to hear. Though Steven had never minded showcasing his voice while in the bed of another, he had usually tried to be quieter in order to be mindful to the other people who might be trying to sleep at the same time. But that was no issue here. This was not the bunk room in the village with many people to one room, this was Prince Thor's personal tent.

He moaned loudly, a half bitten off cry of Thor's name in too familiar a fashion, but he couldn't help himself. Odin only knew that he would never find satisfaction in another partner again, how could he? He bucked back towards Thor, his hands reached up to tangle in long hair and tug as hard as he could.

His eyes were glazed and his skin shone with sweat, but this showed no sign of ending. Steven felt as though he had entered a strange limbo state, where all that existed was pleasure, his prince, and the ragged sound of his own voice crying out.

It could take hours on a good night for Thor to release, if that was even his intent. On a bad night, he could be inside of James through much of the next morning. It would generally require a little bit of attention from the halls of healing and a reprimand not to overuse a slave no matter how willing because Midgardians were so fragile, but often Thor lost himself in just the feel of tight, wet heat.

Steven would see the sun come up through the slotted flaps in the tent meant to circulate air. His voice might have left him by then but Thor would wring out as many explosions from his new personal slave as possible until he simply could not hold his own in. Bent over the glistening skin of the perfect slave his brother had gifted him, as deep as possible inside of him, Thor broke within him, lips seeking out Steven's.

It was not normal to kiss for Asgardians. Consorts, yes, but never slaves. And slaves never missed other slaves either. It wasn't forbidden, but certainly it was a faux pas.

Steven might have witnessed a few illicit kisses between James and Thor but Thor typically was careful with who saw. His love for his James was already too deep for anyone's good. Either way, Thor's tongue would find his slave's mouth now and he would growl against his lips until he had spilled every last drop of seed into his willing body.

The sounds of the camp already packing up reached his ears as Thor pulled himself up from his bed. "We must be away. I've kept them waiting too long. Dress. You can clean up at the palace.

If Steven hadn't been wholly loyal to Thor before that moment, he was as soon as he was kissed with such passion and possessiveness. Now he understood how Anthony felt over the last fifty years, how Prince Loki had become foremost in all his thoughts and considerations, because he was sure it would be that way for him with Prince Thor from now on.

But he was also only mortal and, even though he was a strong mortal, such a long session of exertion had left him exhausted and even slightly injured. He swayed when he got to his feet, though determination not to fall kept him upright and helped him pull his clothes back on, but he was moving much slower than usual.

Thor would find that Loki was seated outside the tent, Jotun skin catching the light in an array of deep blues, waiting for him. He looked tired, though it was hard to tell on such an alien face, as though he had not slept. But rather spent the night thinking on how Thor now considered him liar, traitor, monster.

This day would not end well, he felt.

Thor was tired as well, for two days of battle and half of one in the furs took its toll on him as well. He might have been rutting the last few hours but his hair and clothing were perfect as he joined the 'princess.'

"Sif feels as if you've enchanted me," Thor said, looking over Loki's shoulder at where Sif and the Warriors had gathered, not really overseeing the breaking down of camp so much as watching Loki. His attempt at an amiable smile failed. "I do not like hiding this. I like less feeling this way. Will you ride ahead with me, away from listening ears. They can keep their sights on us but I would like to talk with you more privately."

He was being formal. Princely. But Thor was no liar. His stiff acting did indeed make him look enchanted.

Sif grew ever more worried for him when she saw how stiff he was and how he leaned over to talk to the Jotun so conspiratorially. She feared for him, but it was as he said, Queen Frigga would be the better of any sorceress from another realm, she would surely be the one to break this hold over Thor's head and heart. All she had to do was keep a close watch until they got to Asgard.

Loki smiled, though there was little humour in it.

"I would ride ahead with you, but you are a fool if you believe they will grant us privacy. See the way they look at me, they believe that I wish you harm for the reason of what I am, nothing more. They care not that I waged battle to protect you, only that I hail from Jotunheim by birth. Is it a wonder I told none of my discoveries?"

But despite his bitter words, he would come with Thor if they were permitted to ride ahead together.

At that, Thor actually laughed. And that drew even more ire from Sif, especially as he and Loki rode passed her. "She believes you have enchanted me because of the way I had lusted for you." He saw no reason to hide it. "Battle lust had taken me over and I knew not who you were to me. Apologies."

He just figured that he'd add that in case Loki thought he was deranged. And, perhaps, Thor wS deranged because now that he saw Loki for whom he was, he did not see the Jotun Princess. He only saw his brother in blue skin and red eyes and softer features.

"Sif will come to accept you. Once a proper way to tell the kingdom is devised. I wish to leave that to our father." It was a wise thing for Thor to say. He knew he was not capable of this decision. Not alone. Not when his heart was still hurting.

Loki did not know how to feel. Thor obviously hurt, obviously blamed all of them for keeping a secret so large; and yet he did not spurn Loki or call him monster, did not even deny him as brother. He watched contemplatively for a few minutes as they rode further ahead, before he broached the subject.

"I must know your mind and heart on this."

He did not often ask for Thor's counsel. But this was an exceptional circumstance, and one that could lead to the breaking of their little family.

"You are ever my brother, if not of my blood, but I have another family. Other brothers, other parents. Does this not change anything between us?"

"Of course it does," Thor said, boisterous tone deadened. "But I never questioned which if the brothers I have had knowledge of might steal you from my side and I have not felt lessened these last few years of your affection because you have discovered another handful. You have known me for your entire life, less two days, they have known you barely to your majority. I can not claim to be jealous of that."

The horses walked beside one another gracefully, long legs trotting in time, tails occasionally brushing one another like knuckles of the hands of lovers moving down a hall.

"But I too know that while I have your affection, I have not always had your love. I pushed you to finding this other side of yourself. And if you speak truth, you have dealt with knowing this all alone for a century. So now I ask what is on your mind, Loki? Will you leave us now that you have revealed yourself?" Thor had other you get brothers and he was at times even close to Baldur, but Loki was his favourite. And losing him would crush his heart.

Thor did not even think to speak of monsters. That was not what was at stake.

Loki had considered this over many hours of soul searching, for he did not truly belong on either realm. His heritage, his magic, his blood were on Jotunheim, but his upbringing and his heart were on Asgard, but he could not split his time between the two. Thor had shot down the notion of an alliance, and how could he go from subjugated realm to ruler and back?

"I do not know."

At least he was honest this time, he knew when a lie would damage things further.

"I do not want to abandon either half of myself, but I do not see how I can keep both. You are my brother, as Frigga is my mother, far more than any other could be. I would not lose the opportunity to rule beside you and counsel you in years to come. But I cannot hide, I cannot be a vassal to my own brother. I do not know, Thor. Know only this, I cannot leave Jotunheim the shell it is now. Too much of me is connected to the land there, the magic."

“Our father had to have saved you for a reason,” Thor said, remembering the tale his brother told the night before. “I do not mean to diminish his heroics in the saving of a single child, nor to downplay what his thoughts might have been upon seeing an infant left in the cold, but he surely meant for you to be more than just my brother. He named you second in line, over his natural sons. You were not sent away to grow up happily with Tor and Baldur on Vanaheim,” he pointed out. “Perhaps he knew you to be a balm. Perhaps our mother saw your greatness-- Loki, do not make an decision until all has been discussed. There must be a happy ending to this. I will not lose you.”

And yet, despite the kind words, Thor could not look at Loki. He found it difficult to view him in Jotnar skin, to see it shift in deep blues with the crisscross of white under the strong sun. It was just another sign of physical betrayal.

He told Loki everything. Loki alone knew how he’d felt of James. Loki alone knew of many of his conquests to other Realms or his exploits when he was an adventurous youth. And it seemed as if Loki did not need him to share these things with. It was hurtful. Thor was not easily hurt and yet Loki always knew where to shove in the knife.

Thor's words were kind, even gentle. This was why Loki both loved and detested his brother, the innocence and naivety to think things would be all right, to think that there would be a solution that would end in them being happy together, was so foolish as to almost be blind. It scared him that someone with this lack of ability to face terrible truths would sit on the throne one day.

He loved his brother dearly, but he did not want Asgard to fall.

Loki opted to stay silent until they reached the walls of Asgard once more, setting the hood of his cloak well over his head despite the heat in order to disguise his Jotun skin from anyone watching. He could change back to himself, but he refused to relinquish the Casket and that would give his secret away too easily.

"Come, it seems the time has come to face the truth of decisions made long ago."

“Come in through the back entry,” Thor said, though he was not sure if Loki would take that as a slight. Sometimes his brother’s anger was justifiable, but sometimes he just misunderstood and flew off the handle with little provocation. Thor hoped that this would not trigger anything. He and Loki often used the royal entry way to avoid a ride through the city and this would give them a little more privacy. It was not yet dusk, after all. Thor nudged his horse with his knees, nodding to the guards, but did not look to see if Loki was coming with him.

Truthfully, Thor hoped for a bit of a squabble here. He didn’t want to go into the palace yet and face his mother, or the fact that the All-Father’s throne stood empty and ready for him.

He wanted to set his tent up right here and enjoy more time with his Steven, rather than plan for the pyre of James. Something he would need to do secretively since Midgardians were buried, not set ablaze. His antics were more jerky, less subdued as they trotted on, but he could not put this off forever.

Once inside the walls of the city, and then the walls of the palace, it all became very real for him and Thor inhaled deeply to settle himself. His life had changed in the span of one day. He lost James in the morning, lost his freedom by afternoon, and now potentially was about to lose his brother by evening. He was a strong man, but strength could only get him so far.

Frigga would be the first to join them and her pale peach robes made Thor recall many times he and Loki tried to sneak back into the palace after some misdeed. He felt small, even in armour.

Frigga's heart had been aching since her boys left, since her youngest took what he claimed was a birthright and disappeared. She could not protect him from the truth any longer, and she regretted the choices that she and her husband had made. Loki had always been more sensitive, more willing to see the slights in others, and this could be the breaking of him.

To see him return with Thor instead of with an army of Frost Giants was her first relief, and she could not help but embrace first one and then the other of her sons, wiping a dirty smear from Thor's forehead and being careful not to touch Loki's skin where he still wore the mantle of a son of Laufey.

"It lifts my heart to see both of my sons beside one another, even after all that has happened. Come, sit with me, and speak your hearts."

“How is Father?” That was the most pressing question, no matter what else needed to be said. Thor’s voice caused the air to vibrate as it did when he was upset or angry. Emotion always got the best of him. It was something that carried beyond Mjolnir, a magic linked more to his natural mother than his father. His talents were innate, and while Mjolnir channeled them, he could not exactly control them. It was also one of those overlooked aspects of who he was. No one tormented him the way they did Loki. He could not help the storms that sometimes came unbidden as Loki could usually help his more chaotic issues.

Frigga’s face fell briefly. “There is no change. He will be as he is when you are ready to see him. There is little rush. His condition is not yet widely known. Unlike, may I say, the heroics you and a Jotun Sorcerer that had been spreading through the city?”

It seemed like more trickery. Thor did not sit, his shoulders throwing themselves back. “How is it word has already reached the capital? How is it there is word at all of a Jotun?”

Frigga’s smile was strange, but Loki might pick up that she herself may have been the cause of the talk. “The importance is that the news is being well received. Lauded, even.” And there was also whispers of fear, but Thor was a grounding factor. “It is believed that the joining of Asgard with Jotunheim was the only reason no more than three villages were destroyed by the fire giant invaders.”

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