[In this one way, it was perhaps easier for Bucky to face his feelings. Losing his memories of what had been acceptable and what hadn't had left him without the prejudices against homosexuality. He had spent so long being denied any part of himself, that he no longer had the luxury of asking if the few parts he rediscovered were allowed or not. They were him, so they were allowed.
He had remembered loving Steve, he remembered wanting to kiss him, but he hadn't remembered doing more. It's why he had to ask. The outpouring in the letter he gets back isn't something that he's expecting at all and it takes the wind from his sails pretty effectively. He has to reread it several times over the span of a week to even take it in.
It thrills him.
It makes him furious. He can't go and do what he planned now, he can't walk away from that sort of message. He feels chained again, forced into a different path, one not of his choosing. It means that he doesn't go to Steve, not for a long time, he rages with himself again.
It's nearly four months later, while Steve is in Paris, that Bucky suddenly falls into step next to him as though he had been there all along. He's dressed in ratty jeans and an even rattier hoodie, hair unkempt and stubble almost becoming a beard.]
I guess you were right, it's not the end of the line after all.
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He had remembered loving Steve, he remembered wanting to kiss him, but he hadn't remembered doing more. It's why he had to ask. The outpouring in the letter he gets back isn't something that he's expecting at all and it takes the wind from his sails pretty effectively. He has to reread it several times over the span of a week to even take it in.
It thrills him.
It makes him furious. He can't go and do what he planned now, he can't walk away from that sort of message. He feels chained again, forced into a different path, one not of his choosing. It means that he doesn't go to Steve, not for a long time, he rages with himself again.
It's nearly four months later, while Steve is in Paris, that Bucky suddenly falls into step next to him as though he had been there all along. He's dressed in ratty jeans and an even rattier hoodie, hair unkempt and stubble almost becoming a beard.]
I guess you were right, it's not the end of the line after all.