fossilised | For Steve

"Steve!" Grant ran across the lawn in bare feet and sleep pants, white t-shirt stuck to his back from sweat by the time he got to the main house. He pounded on the door, before JARVIS opened it for him, and Sam, who had been lounging on the couch after putting Steve to bed (his bed) less than ten minutes ago got to his feet.

Grant was in full attack by that point, bent over and clutching the paper as he tried to breathe. Sam was momentarily lost for what to do. He'd see Grant once, unconscious. He'd heard that they decided to go with his middle name (but it escaped him on what that was right now). To be honest, Sam was just momentarily in shock to see him.

"Need--" wheeze. "Steve--"

"Hang on, man," Sam said, dashing to the door. He picked Grant up and carried him to the couch, asking JARVIS to get Cap for them. Of course the doctor was gone, back an hour or so away in Manhattan. Not good. "Hey. Calm down. Just breathe for me. Let's do it together. Follow my lead."

Steve knew he should really be sleeping. He had been awake too long and even his body needed rest, but he was just staring at the ceiling in Sam's room when JARVIS called for him to get up. Grant was in the front room having an asthma attack. Fearing immediately something wrong with Bucky, Steve sprinted to the lounge and dropped to his knees beside Sam who was doing the right thing.

"Sam. Inhaler, he was given one, if it's not on him then go to building seven and find it. Make sure to call out before you get in there or you might startle Bucky, we don't need a fight."

Sam, grateful for the orders, patted Grant down briefly before he ran off to find the needed inhaler, leaving Steve and Grant alone.

"Alright, Grant, you and I both know that you can get through this. Breathe deep as you can and don't try to talk 'til you can breathe properly again."

Grant didn't need to speak. He just pushed the paper at Steve despite his inability to get a good breath in. He'd be fine. Probably. His chest wasn't easing up but Sam would be back with the inhaler soon. Never mind that he was getting a little blue around the lips as he struggled to both get some air and make Steve read the paper.

Bucky was more important right now and he could be lying dead wherever it was Tony Stark was at. All Grant knew was that Bucky told Tony he killed his parents when he wasn't himself and that Tony had tried to hurt him.

Justice, that note said. Justice. There was no justice.

It took Sam awhile to get the inhaler because he had no idea where it might be, and because he was wary about Bucky, but sprinted back across the lawn after he found the medicine in the bedside drawer. "Cap!" he called before he threw it over and Steve helped get the nozzle in Grant's mouth. He waited for the younger Steve to lay back, resting a little more easily now that his airways had opened up, before he said: "Building 7 is empty."

Steve was pale as a sheet by the time that Sam had got back with the inhaler and got Grant breathing again, the piece of paper covered in Bucky's handwriting clutched so tightly in his hand that he was in danger of ripping it. Stupid-- stupid, how could he not have seen that this might happen? Bucky was a good man, one of the best, of course he would feel like he needed to face justice.

But if Tony had killed him?

He felt as though he might throw up or cry, neither of which were viable options, as he thrust the note out to Sam to read. "JARVIS, you're connected to both buildings, tell me-- where is Bucky?"

"Sergeant Barnes' current location is unknown. He arrived at Stark Tower at nineteen minutes past one in the morning and left at forty two minutes past one in the morning. He was unharmed."

Grant felt a mixture of relief and a stabbing pain after JARVIS filled in the information no one had asked for. "And Mr. Stark--"

"Asleep. Doctor Banner and Colonel Rhodes saw to it that he get some rest not long after Sargeant Barnes left." No one had been hurt, Bucky hadn't gone back on his promise to stop hurting people, but that did not make him feel better.

He tried hard not to let the tears well up in his eyes, not in front of Steve, who was so strong, and not in front of a stranger either. He just gulped back a little until he could feel an air bubble form in his throat. "He should have been back by now," he whispered. "It can't take that long to come back from Manhattan. Maybe there's traffic?"

He wanted that hope.

"Bucky promised he wouldn't leave again." His pain felt like red hot metal shavings burrowing into his chest. He couldn't stop the single tear that dropped from his eyes to his clenched hands. "He said he wouldn't leave so something had to happen to keep him from coming back for us."

"He's left."

Steve didn't want to say that because it felt like spitting blood through razor blades in his mouth, but it was the truth all the same. He didn't blame Bucky, he found it hard to blame Bucky for anything. Just the fact that he was still alive after all of this was amazing, he could be expected to make a few judgement errors along the way.

"He probably thinks he's doing what's best for you-- us."

Because he was an idiot that way. But then, Steve had never been the only one to put himself on the wire for others to crawl over, and that was clearly what Bucky thought he was doing. Removing himself from the equation so that all of the others could be safe and happy. Idiot. Idiot.

"We'll find him, we'll help him. We won't let anything happen to him."

Bucky kept doing this. He kept promising and then leaving and when he returned, it was just more promises he was going to break. Grant shook his head, pretty sure his skull was coming unhinged from his spine. "No. Let him go. He's not-- he can't be happy here." Maybe it was foolish to think that they could have made him happy too. Bucky knew himself now better than anyone, but it probably wasn't saying very much.

Grant couldn't stop his heart from breaking as he bowed his head and Sam glanced away from the two, hands on his hips, waiting to be told what the plan was. Until then, he'd given them their space. Grant especially looked like he needed it.

"He'll find us when he's ready. Don't you have a job to do? What you said last night about finding HYDRA and the people that hurt him? Can I... Can I help you track them down? I have to be useful. I have to do something while I... While we wait for him to come back."

Grant's shoulders slumped and he leaned forward, rubbing a hand over his wet face. He shouldn't be crying over this. Bucky was safe. He was safe and the rest-- it would just be a waiting game.

Funny, he'd been alone for months since Bucky found him in his tenament. And here, he as surrounded by people. But Grant stil felt so very alone.

Steve hesitated a moment and then stood up to clap Sam on the shoulder, obvious affection beneath the stoic heartbreak that he was just about managing to keep under control. "Could you give us a few moments, pal? I need to talk to Grant on his own." He waited until Sam had nodded and moved off before he sat down beside his younger self and shook his head.

"You've got it wrong, we can't sit and wait for him to come back. Bucky's in trouble, he's hurting, and he needs our help. He was happy here, he said as much in his letter, he's just an idiot who thinks he's protecting us. This isn't about his happiness, him leaving, it's about him thinking it's not safe for him to be with us."

Which was a dumb reason to let him go.

"I'm going to look for him because it's the right thing to do, and because he needs me."

Whether or not Grant could see the right of it, well... Steve thought that he would, he knew himself and he'd never give up on Bucky Barnes.

Maybe he was going about this all wrong? Grant felt so small right now, like he'd just let Bucky down. Like he didn't know him at all. He shouldn't have given up so easily, and now he felt so terrible for it. Like his heart was about to fall out, like he'd forgotten everything he ought to be.

"He does need you." Grant was pretty useless here. Sure, maybe up close, he could keep Bucky being himself. He could say the right things and coax him back, but just running across the lawn gave him an attack. Trying to find a man that didn't want to be found when he hardly understood the world as it was now, seemed so out of his reach.

He really hated that. He hated being useless. He hated sitting down for all of this.

"Can you drive?" Well, howelse were they going to get out of here?

"Yeah," he said, and it was in answer to the question as well as an acknowledgement that Bucky needed him, and despite his worry that actually felt pretty good. He knew now, he had seen, that Bucky needed both of them in order to get back to any semblance of normalcy. "He needs you too, so let's get out there and bring him home."

They could deal with Tony and the possibility that they would have to find someplace else to live after this, and Steve would deal with the very real problems that the team might split over his decision to help Bucky when he had committed such a personal crime against Tony's family. But that was for the future, right now he just had to find his friend before Bucky got too far away and buried himself too effectively.

He pulled himself up to his feet and offered his hand to Grant to help him up, and led him down to the garage. Unfortunately, they wouldn't find Bucky that night. Nor the next one, nor the next, nor the next. Four long days of searching, or strained silence, and with no Tony either. Steve felt like his carefully constructed world was falling down.

Would Tony even come back? Did he hate Steve now? Would he keep wanting to get revenge against Bucky? Would he hate Bucky for good?

Tony had other things to do than let Steve Rogers and pals ruin his life. With Steve and Grant gone, and Sam AWOL attempting to find them, Tony had to step up his game a little. It would have been so much easier if Bucky had just mentioned that he did in fact know where the HYDRA Soldier base was, but Tony would get to that eventually, especially after Thor decided to pay them a visit with some sort of crazy alien magic-tech that would lead them to Loki's scepter.

Having to fetch it without Steve was pretty bad. Tony was more ruthless for it, he didn't lead so much as announced what he was going to do and left the rest up to everyone else. No one blamed him. He wasn't a leader. Luckily, Thor did his best to step up but leading human's wasn't as easy as leading his own men. He did not know their skills the way that Rogers did.

And while they did indeed manage their mission, it was not without great consequence. Barton was left injured. Banner had a harder time than usually recovering from his Code Green. And Tony was acting even funnier than usual. Something had happened to him in that HYDRA base but he wasn't talking about it. It was pretty crazy stuff. He didn't even believe it himself.

In the end, Barton would recover, even as Grant began to show the first signs of pneumonia. His lungs felt heavy and thick. His head ached. And finally, a week into their run, he put a hand on Stevs's arm as the other blond was working off of JARVIS supplied sat images. "I'm slowing you down," he murmured, skin clammy and damp.

Steve had begun to feel guilty. He knew that the mission to get the sceptre hadn't been the most successful thing in the world and it had been his fault that Barton had been injured, he should have been there, he was meant to be the team leader. He didn't want to drive all his other friends away, and now Grant was also sick.

"...I think we should take a break for a few days anyway, clear our heads, come back at it when JARVIS has managed to collate some better images."

He clapped a hand to Grant's shoulder, knowing how much he had hated to be coddled when he had been in a body like that, and so still talking to him normally even if he looked awful. He'd have to get Banner to prescribe some antibiotics, treatment for pneumonia was much better in these days than it ever had been when he was a kid.

"Maybe you can spend a few days sitting and working through the possible sightings on a map, seeing if there's a pattern or journey progression? I have some stuff I need to sort out with the team, anyway."

He needed to finally talk to Tony, he needed to thank Sam and everyone else for stepping in for him, and he needed to pick up the mantle of Captain America again.

There wasn't much to do about it save to listen to Steve's advice and go back. No where was home without Bucky and so Grant never considered calling it that. He was moved into the Tower, too sick to really understand where he was at that point, and though. An error did remind them that they had Helen a ho, a real doctor at their disposal, he still checked on the kid as often as possible.

Steve and Sam coming home coincided with Tony's thought about throwing a massive party in celebration for getting their hands back on the weapon Loki left behind and Tony was in fine form of ignoring that anything was wrong as he leaned against the bar and asked Natasha for another drink, more or less ignoring the shop talk Steve and Sam were having just behind him.

Natasha complied, though his Shiey Temple was more virgin than Rogers probably was and no amount of whining that this was his house and his bar would get her to do anything more than smile at him until he wandered off to leave Banner get himself flirted with despite hardly realizing it.

Steve made his way over to Tony, pleased and touched by how well his conversations with Sam and the others had gone. They had been understanding, they said they were glad to have him back, they were all there for him. The underlying sentiment was that they would be there for Bucky too if and when Steve ever found him, probably because Natasha had made sure that everyone had sat through at least a little of the tapes they found. Horrific, but a good way of making people feel compassion.

But Tony was the one he was worried about.

"Hey Tony," he said, first words since the man had been knocked out cold in his arms a week back. "We need to talk. You have a moment?"

"Holy shit. The Steve Rogers! Guess a good party brings everyone out of the woodworks, huh?" He might have been cut off but he didn't need alcohol to be a dick. Steve had abandoned them when they needed him. And this was after he was forced to confront his parents' killer. Twice. In one night. He knew this would happen if Bucky left. The man was a liability. He'd hurt Grant three times now. Arm. That head wound, and now the pneumonia that was keeping him bed ridden in one of the upstairs rooms. Fine. Whatever. Accidents happened. But Bucky was making the world a little darker for his disappearance. And that was on top of the stuff he did when he felt like he didn't have a choice.

So was Tony still sore about all of this? He was. He was, and considering that little flash he had gotten, that little spark of a memory where Steve blamed him for making a mess of things? Yeah. He was in damned way willing to miss and make up with Steve Fucking Rogers right now.

"What do you need? More use of the satelittes? New tech? Put an order in with JARVIS and I'll get right on it."

Alright, well, fine then. Steve could feel the hostility rolling off Tony in waves, but he refused to rise up to it himself. He was here to be the bigger man and offer his apologies, and that's what he was going to do. It might go less smoothly since Tony was aggressive to begin with, but that didn't mean he would back down from it.

"No, I wanted to talk to you and see if we could smooth things out. I haven't been there this last week and I apologise, I've already spoken to the others and given my apology there. I won't let you down again."

That didn't mean he was going to stop looking for Bucky, but he needed to balance it out with his duties so that he didn't lose everyone important to him.

"And I want to apologise for not telling you about your parents. I thought I was doing the right thing to protect you, but it was selfish, I was protecting myself. So, for that, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Tony said curtly, as if he wanted nothing more in this world than for Steve to go away and leave him alone. "What you do with your time has nothing to do with me and you and your SHIELD buddies love keeping secrets. I get it. That's fine."

He was trying to be the bigger man here. Natasha had already laid the ground work for it, tried to smooth over the rough edges, but Tony had already been withdrawing. Steve's week long absence hadn't really helped either when he was their glue. He brought them together and led them through it all.

Steve's painful earnestness and Tony's penchant for killing off his liver, however, put the older man in a really tough sort of position. He didn't like to let things go, not when he still had so much to say. "You're not going to want to hear this, Cap, and I'm sure no one else is going to tell you either, but your boyfriend is a god damned liability. HYDRA has the ability to go to alternate dimensions. They are actively seeking out more serum or Erskine or hell, maybe even more Steve Rogerses. And what are you doing? Globe trotting and searching for someone that stayed away from you for so long because you kept hunting him down. You s got a choice to make here. We don't want your sloppy seconds. Save that for that kid you've been dragging around collecting pneumona."

Steve's jaw tensed enough that tendons became visible in his neck, but he still didn't rise to it. He told himself that Tony had a right to his anger, but-- he actually didn't, not in Steve's head. Blaming Bucky for what happened wasn't fair, it was like blaming a rape victim for getting pregnant out of wedlock, or something equally despicable.

"I told you that it wouldn't happen again, that meant I was going to stick to my work here where I'm needed. I'm still going to look for Bucky, but I'll do it on my own time."

He exhaled heavily, but he couldn't just let it go.

"Maybe he's a liability, but if he is then it's not his fault. He's like a shell shocked vet, he doesn't know what he's doing, and he needs our help. I told you that you're going to be my first priority and I don't lie, but don't talk about Bucky like that again. You know as well as I do that he's a victim in all of this."

"And so are millions of other people," Tony shot back. "I'm trying to keep the world safe. I'm trying to keep a lot of parallel worlds safe. You're using our resources to hunt down a guy that doesn't want to be found." Tony's anger had so little to do with Bucky and more to do with Steve being completely blind to what was going on. Steve abandoned them.

Tony really didn't take well to that, so he was prepared to just brush him off. He'd brush them all off and do this himself. He worked so much better that way anyway.

Funny that Steve had accused him in that vision of not doing enough. Tony was the only one here actually trying to keep the world from imploding. "I'm sorry your friend was abused, I really am. But look at the bigger picture, Cap. I don't have time for this. I have work to do. So good luck with it all." A condescending slap with the back of his hand on Steve's chest brought to light that everyone was watching them cautiously. Only Rhodey decided to try to intervene, though.

Tony would have brushed him off too if he hadn't stumbled. "He's drunk, Steve. He has no idea what he's saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying," Tony growled and took a poorly timed swing at his friend, which Rhodes stepped away from easily and tried to catch Tony before he fell over. He was not successful.

Edited 2017-02-22 21:10 (UTC)

"He knows what he's saying, he's just not listening." Steve shot back, hands on his hips and frown finally pulling his lips down. "If he was, then he'd know I'm trying to keep the world safe too. I apologised for this last week, and I said that I'm working for the team again now."

Tony was an infuriating idiot. How many mistakes had he made in his life? How many that hurt hundreds and thousands? How many that lasted months and years? Steve had let the ball drop for a single week, and he had already gone around and apologised to everybody personally, and he wouldn't let it happen again.

Was Tony really going to hold a grudge.

"Forget it. I said what I needed to say, Tony can accept that or he can keep being angry. It won't stop me doing what I need to do."

"Fuck you," Tony spat at Rhodey picked him up off of the ground. Tony's best friend had no idea what the issue was here. None at all. Natasha might have provided a little insight but she wasn't going to bother with the boys today. Let them fight.

It wouldn't bring Pepper back. She had left two weeks ago while Tony was at the compound, ignoring her calls. He had found out until a day after Bruce came back to help keep him company while Natasha went back to the compound to do damage control.

Just because his heart was broken didn't mean that he needed to take his bullshit out on Steve. So Rhodey dragged him away on his own while Tony commanded everyone to enjoy themselves and drink more. Needless to say, the party was over.

Rhodey sighed and got Tony up to the bedroom, fighting him all the way, and thankfully able to get the upper hand because of just how drunk the other man was. If he knew that Pepper had walked out on him rather than just was elsewhere on business, then he might have understood a bit better and been a bit kinder. But he didn't know, and so he just dumped Tony on his bed and frowned down at him.

"Stay here, Tony. Get some sleep, we can all talk in the morning."

Except they wouldn't.

Because as soon as Rhodey left, all the lights in Tony's room went out except for two glowing spots from the eyes of one of the suits of armour. It made its way over to him and folded around his body, ignoring any protestations or orders, and then flew him out of the window.

A voice piped through the speakers, a low feminine purr from an unfamiliar woman.

"Do relax, Mr. Stark, we have business to discuss but it's rather a long flight until we can."

Though Grant opened his eyes for the first time in almost two days as the Iron Man armor shot across the window, leaving him to sit up slowly in wonder at the sight (and the sight of the city stretched out below the Tower), no one else saw the streak of red metal and blue repulsors leave everyone behind.

Tony was just a tiny bit too drunk to understand what was going on at first and he let the suit take him wherever it wanted for almost ten minutes before it dawned on him how badly this was playing out.

"Who are you?" No really. Inquiring minds needed to know so JARVIS could transmit back to the Avengers what had happened and who was doing it.

"A possible business partner for the future."

Her voice was slightly accented with something Eastern European, perhaps, but her English was so excellent that it was barely noticeable. She didn't sound at all concerned that she was kidnapping one of the Avengers using his own technology.

"We have high hopes for a long and lucrative career together, but this can all be discussed when you arrive. Please, Mr. Stark, take this opportunity to rest and recover your wits. You'll want to be at your best when you arrive."

Tony was always at his best, even when he wasn't. He didn't give into panic or worry, even when JARVIS failed to answer him and none of his systems actually responded. The helmet was exceptionally dark without the HUD on and though he could see through the slits of the eyes behind the switched off LED mesh, he couldn't make out anything but clouds and partial sky or ground.

It was uncomfortable to be stuck there, unsure of where his cushioning was coming from or how to brace for changes in direction. His body was mostly incased and while he could wiggle his toes, he couldn't wiggle his fingers. Or shift his weight into the body of the armor.

That was a problem.

"How do you serve nuts on this flight? And where are the restrooms?" Tony wanted to be by himself and so now he was. He sort of hated irony.

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