fossilised | For Steve

"There goes your spot, Jackson!" somewhat laughed when he saw Bucky but the laughter literally died away the moment steely eyes settled in upon him. So did the laughter of everyone else in the group. For the first time, Steve felt self conscious. He'd never had to defend himself in front of Bucky before because Bucky always stepped right in. And this time, that couldn't happen. Not if he had to prove himself. He just had no way of signaling that to his friend.

Silently, almost ashamed, Steve claimed a bottom bunk left open in between two other claimed ones and made his bed. No one really talked to him, and that was all right. He was going to go out of his way to be friendly. Like he always did.

At least until the flicker for lights out came.

In a way, that was a relief. He did not, however, get any sleep at all. At least no one tried to play a trick on him over night.

That did not make the morning bugle any easier and Steve had to scramble to get ready, following everyone else with his dressing. He ended up having only one Ill-fitted boot on by the time their CO came in.

Bucky did not sleep that night, but he did lay down on his bunk to give the illusion of it, awake well before the bugle call to dress in a uniform that felt weirdly familiar and alien all at the same time.

Their CO for that morning was probably not when Steve would be expecting, mostly because she was a woman. A beautiful woman dressed in an impeccable skirt and jacket suit with beautifully made up red lips and perfect victory rolls in her hair. The tap of her high heels on the floor rang out like bullets, but none of the men tried to ogle her. They clearly knew her already, had already experienced what happened if they did.

She stopped in front of Steve and looked him up and down, her accent smooth and cultured English.

"If you don't mind my asking, Private Rogers, when did the uniform code change to only one boot?"

“Uh…” Oh, that sounded good. How did she know him? Why did she know him? Steve tried not to wheeze as he looked up at her and offered a charming smile that didn’t always get him out of trouble, but it couldn’t hurt. It was a move he stole from Bucky long ago. “I’m afraid that I am out of uniform, ma’am. May I have a moment to rectify that?”

She seemed amused and nodded as her heels clicked her around the room in observation of the entire set of broadchested men she saw standing in front of her. All the rest were familiar, save for one. Barnes.

“And you, soldier, did the barber’s clippers break?” Her accent was sweet and oh so foreign to a man like Steve. He’d never heard anything like it before. He’d never seen anything like her before. As she spoke with Bucky, he hopped around to get the last boot on, but his eyes were focused on her entirely.

She knew Rogers because one of the other COs on the base had come to see her and complain about the runt that Erskine had allowed in for his pet project; and she had to admit, he certainly didn't look like anything special up close. But perhaps the worth was deeper than that, less to do with his muscles and more with his heart.

Bucky, who might have smiled at her once upon a time, scowled as if she were an enemy for questioning him at all. He raised a hand to his hair, and shook his head.

"I don't know, I haven't been to the barber."

"And why not? There is a regulation length on hair for the uniform, so you'll need to head over there now before morning training."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No."

Steve turned a pleading eye suddenly to Bucky. He would get himself kicked out at this rate and while Steve did truly think he might be better off doing this alone, they didn't abandon each other. Bucky initially had no choice. A draft was a draft. He had been planning to enlist when Steve managed to get in but... Well that's what happened when you left everything up to fate. Sometimes she decided to do whatever she wanted.

And she hadn't been kind to either of them in heir loves this far.

Steve really did try to do his best to get Bucky to comply but there was only so much he could do silently.

"I'm sorry, private, this isn't up for debate. You'll be in uniform or you're welcome to be out of the program." And court marshaled. Once enlisted, you were Army.

"I'm not leaving Steve."

Bucky didn't back down even an inch in front of her, she didn't intimidate him in the slightest and the only reason he was in this program was for Steve. He wasn't going to let them cut his hair, shape him into an anonymous perfect soldier. Not again, not for anyone. Maybe it was just hair, but it was what it represented right now.

Peggy turned to raise a perfectly plucked eyebrow at Steve, who had finally managed to get his second boot on. "And what do you say about this, Private Rogers?"

Did he endorse this behaviour from a friend? "We're not a summer camp for best friends to play in, this is the army."

This wasn't going to work. Steve had a sinking suspicion that they were going to be in trouble here. Not just kicked out of the program trouble, but real trouble. If they were taken to jail, Bucky would get violent. Steve just knew it. He couldn't let Bucky do what he didn't want to. He said he wasn't going to kill anymore. And Steve had to believe that.

So he squared his shoulders and he puffed out his chest. It didn't really help to make him look big enough for this but he had lied on official forms for months now. He could lie to this woman.

"We aren't enlisted," Steve said, eyes forward and jaw rough. "We're here on a secret mission as part of Project Rebirth." No one dared murmured at that. "What our assignment is happens to be classieid, ma'am. But we don't intend to blow our cover. We need to learn to be soldiers-- to an extent. if this isn't acceptable, please speak with Dr. Eskine. We would really like to get on with our training, though ma'am. Time is of the essence. HYDRA waits for no one."

The name startled her. "How do you know about HYDRA?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Classified," Steve insisted. This was working!

Bucky watched this exchange with a blank expression on his face, even as Agent Carter turned her head back to look at him speculatively and then back at Steve. She walked over to him, poised and perfect, and raised one cultured eyebrow.

"You will remain in here, Privates, until I have spoken with Dr. Erskine, is that understood?"

She didn't wait for a response before she turned and walked out again to leave them alone the rest of the recruits already going out for the start of their day's training. It left Bucky just looking over at Steve, expression melting just slightly.

"--sorry. I can't let them turn me into a soldier again."

"We would have found another way to do this if you'd told me earlier," Steve said gently. "But I think it will be all right now. You already had the training. I guess... I'm going to need it more than you, right? Just looooong the way I did in the picture won't do me any good without discipline and-- You can always train me, right?"

Steve sat down on the edge of his bunk and leaned down to tie his heavy boots properly. He looked strange in that uniform, something Bucky had never seen, the smallest uniform on offer still too big for him. Steve had to turn the cuffs of his pants up. And his sleeves too. The dog tags looked too big on his chest. The boots were too big too.

As silly as he looked, he was still making an effort. Steve Rogers never gave less than all of himself in anything he did.

"Will you be all right here, Buck? If we stay I mean."

Bucky looked as if he belonged in the uniform, aside from the hair, he even had the look that a lot of older soldiers got, the ones who had seen a lot of campaigns. The slightly hollow, slightly far away look, that said he had seen too much violence and he might never be the same again for it. Whereas Steve was so obviously green, with those wide innocent eyes and baby-faced charm.

"I've got through worse."

Basic training might not be fun, but he would find a way to get through. Not that Steve needed to know about the 'worse'. He knew that HYDRA had managed to get hold of him, that was it, and that was all that was necessary.

It didn't take long before the door opened again to reveal Agent Carter looking less than impressed. "I don't know where you heard the name HYDRA, Private Rogers, but I expect you to forget you ever knew it. Now get to basic training immediately. Private Barnes, you and I are going to go and see the barber."

Steve stood up. He didn't like authority figures who thought they understood the world when they couldn't look down and see what was right in front of them. He hated bullies. He wasn't going to allow Bucky to be molded into something he didn't like. But Steve also understood that it was better to talk than to fight and so he headed over to where Bucky and his single glove stood, at ease, hands behind his back.

"That's not going to work for us, ma'am." Steve looked up at Bucky with an apologetic smile. "Show her your hand...?"

It might not work. It might get them into trouble. Bucky might have to help him fight his way out of here. If that was the case... They'd figure out another way to get him what he needed. It was too bad that Erskine hadn't come through for them but Steve was used to disappointments. He never fit in anywhere. He never tried to any more. And that was so no one could really effect him.

No one but Bucky. Steve was loyal to his friend to a fault.

Peggy Carter would not be pleased if she knew she was being mentally compared to a bully, when she was just making sure that regulations were obeyed and her job was done right. But that was sadly the way of it for a woman in the military, she had to work twice as hard and was either seen as a ball-busting bully, or a delicate flower who couldn't do anything but make the tea. Her eyes flicked down to that gloved hand. She had assumed it was an embarrassing birthmark or something, he wouldn't be allowed to enlist with a defect that might stop him holding a gun correctly.

Bucky looked long and hard at Steve for a moment, before he obligingly pulled his glove off to reveal the segmented and shiny metal beneath. Her eyes opened wide and she immediately moved to block off the door.

"Explain, now."

"No."

"Damn it, Private, this needs an explanation!"

"You wouldn't believe us. I know the truth and I still wouldn't believe us," Steve said kindly, eyes lifting from the perfectly formed metal. "But this is tied to HYDRA and a similar project to Rebirth. Dr. Erskine isn't the only one with the serum he's working on." Steve had the time line messed up. He didn't know that the doctor would die and the serum would be stolen. Or that Bucky would steal more from a not yet made friend in a few decades.

But he didn't need to. All he had to do was convince his CO that he wasn't crazy.

"I'm the candidate. I'm the one who needs to graduate this program. Bucky is my bodyguard." Wow. It made him sound a lot more important than he was. "Will you help us? We need to get this done with to stop HYDRA."

Erskine had confirmed that he hoped Steve would be the one to get the serum, but that he needed to go through basic training first, so perhaps it wasn't out of the realms of possibility that he needed a bodyguard. He certainly did look skinny enough to need one...

"Even a bodyguard undercover has to look like a soldier," she said, voice softening slightly. "I appreciate the position you're in, but all I'm asking for is a haircut."

Bucky's jaw grit so hard that he looked as if he might chew and spit rocks, before he eventually nodded just once. He didn't want this, he didn't want to be made faceless, but she was right. One haircut, it wouldn't change anything in the long run.

It was never appropriate for a man to wear long hair but it had grown on Steve to see Bucky in it. He liked the fringe that curled across his cheeks and he liked it when it hung wet and damp against his neck. Steve wasn't entirely impressed with the idea of letting Bucky be anything but himself, but this wasn't his call and it wasn't his play.

"Can you-- can it be just short enough not to get him in trouble?" Steve looked ridiculously young, though he was actually a little older than some of the enlisted men in this program.

Peggy pressed her perfectly painted lips together and then glanced sidelong to Bucky and nodded. "We can probably let it go an inch or so longer than regulation," she said with just a hint of amusement and nodded her head for Bucky to follow.

Steve didn't need to be attached at the hip to his friend, but he followed too until Peggy pointed the way for him to go out to meet the others. Steve thought he knew what hell was. But that was until he started basic training.

Would Steve still be sure this was what he wanted even after a morning of gruelling exercise? Or press-ups, sit-ups, assault courses, and running with a heavy pack on? The weight of his dog tags at his chest, real ones with his name and number inscribed on them, not just some dream he had after another lonely night in his cold little apartment.

It was late afternoon by the time Bucky rejoined everyone else. After he had gone to the barbers, Peggy had taken him to Erskine and the General of this base so that the four of them could have a serious talk about HYDRA, his arm, and what the hell was going on. Not that he had given a lot of information, enough to say he had been captured by them once upon a time and that he was here to protect Steve.

When Bucky caught up with Steve it was during a six mile run around the surrounding area. He ran beside him with the ease of a man strolling, as if he could go twice as fast and not feel it. But then, with the serum, he could outrun a car over some distances. He looked more like the Bucky that Steve knew now, hair short and uniform on.

Steve was going to defeat the Axis. He was going to punch Hilter and bring him into custody. He was going to save Bucky and defeat HYDRA and the Soviets. He was going to keep the people of war torn Europe safe. He'd help them rebuild and then come back to America and clean up the corrupt unions and the city governments. He'd help those that couldn't help themselves. No one would ever be cold or hungry again--

This is what Steve told himself as lagged further and further behind. He was not running anymore, but walk-hopping, trying to breathe and keep his feet moving. He was in pain but he was working through it, his uniform soaked and his hair flat against his scalp.

And then Bucky showed up. Fell into easy step with him. Steve felt his lungs loosen up and found a second wind becsuse this was what they were always suppose to have together. Bucky made him stronger. Even if he didn't realize it.

"How--was--it?" he panted, knees up again and arms pumping. "Looking--sharp!"

A part of Bucky felt a swell of pride as he watched Steve run, and it was a new sensation. He had never been here for basic training last time, he had never seen his underweight and under-performing best friend take every challenge they had to throw at him and succeed. He had never seen the grit and determination in full force before.

He saw it now. It was amazing.

"It was fine," he said, not even slightly out of breath. "I have to do the full six miles, but I'll run what's left of yours with you first."

He knew that they had all been running for a long time already, and surely Steve only had a mile or so left to go. Bucky could easily make his up after.

"You don't-- Buck you don't--" Steve had to slow again, back to his little walk hops, because talking was just impossible. "Djya even feel any of this?" He laughed already knowing the answer, sucked in as much breath as his lungs could manage, and pumped his arms to get back to it. A mile wasn't so far. He could already see the camp. The rest of the way was even slightly down hill.

He could do this. He had to do this. And Bucky was going to be with him the entire time.

The last mile was, therefore, easier than any of the others. Steve felt accomplished even if the rest of the group was all standing around, contemplating going to see if his heart had given out along the way.

No one cheered for his appearance but they didn't have to. Bucky was here. And Steve felt great.

And sore. And mostly dead. But great!!

One of the men in the group dug a dollar out of his pocket and slapped it into the waiting hand of another, payment of a bet that the scrawny newest recruit would even manage to make it back at all. There was a little good natured ribbing between the two, but nobody really paid much attention to Steve or Bucky.

The General stepped forwards and frowned at the whole lot of them. "Alright, ladies, that was pathetic. I've seen better times from my kids, and they're not even out of diapers. Hamston, you got the best time, take first dinner this evening. The rest of you, get down and give me fifty push-ups. Rogers, a hundred, you were last. Barnes, do you think this is a social dance? You've done a half mile chatting to your friend, I want twelve miles from you, maybe a little sweat will make you understand. That's twice around the course, double time."

Bucky scowled right back, and then glanced at Steve as if getting permission to leave his side again.

"I said now everyone!"

One hundred push ups was about sixty more than Steve could do. The general had one of the last to finish men wait with him, counting, as Steve forced himself through each grueling moment, resting only when his arms were shaking too badly to continue.

"Fifty- two... Rogers seriously. I'm starving," Jennsey complained, arms crossed and prematurely balding head shining in the sun as Bucky finished his twelve mile run in double time.

Steve was just a scrawny pile of sweat, body trembling with effort as he managed fifty-three, gasping.

Jennsey called that off too and started to pace. Never mind that Steve was in the verge of an attack.

"Sixty-eight. You're welcome Rogers," he muttered, skipping ahead. Steve ignored him.

It was a good job that nobody had really remained behind to check on Bucky, because he completed the twelve mile run in an impossible time and was barely panting by the time he pulled to a halt in the main yard where Steve was being put through his paces.

"Enough."

Bucky bent down and grasped Steve by the shoulder to pull him insistently to his feet. The man was going to give himself an asthma attack, and then where would they be?

"Fifty is what all the others did, that's enough."

He completely ignored Jennsey, but he wouldn't if the man tried to intervene.

Bucky could lift him easily and though he didn't fight him, Steve tried to gasp out that he was absolutely fine and that he didn't want to be treated any differently. If the General wanted him to do one hundred push ups, he would. Luckily, with Bucky there, and with Jennsey being more than willing to leave them to it so that he could have something to eat, no one would know what Steve did or did not do.

Lucky again, really, because his arms simply wouldn't let him do it. His muscles had been strained too far and they were little more than jelly.

Sitting down with his knees up, Bucky seated beside him, Steve held onto his upper thighs and practiced his deep breathing ubtil he could talk again. It took almost three minutes.

"I gotta do this Bucky." His face was beat red and he had probably sweated every fluid he'd had in him out again. "Just like everyone else. It's only fair."

"You did. Everyone else did fifty, you did fifty."

He folded his arms in a gesture that said he was not about to back down on this. Somehow, somewhere along the past few days, he had latched onto guarding Steve properly. A disquieted part of his mind whispered that it was because it was like having a handler again, a purpose, he knew what to do with a target to either take out or protect. Another part of him said that it was because this was Steve, who he didn't quite remember, but who said Buck in such a way that made him feel.

"I haven't done them."

So there, not everyone had done them.

The laugh that came was soft and Steve looked like he might lean into Bucky for just a moment before he caught himself and stretched his legs out in front of him. "We should get in. He was worried about there not being any food and I don't know about you, but I could eat."

Steve stood, legs still a little filled with jelly, and offered Bucky a hand up. It was ridiculous. His best friend just ran twelve mile in the time it took him to do a few dozen push ups and was barely breathing hard.

Dinner was delicious. It had absolutely no taste but it was different and more filling than the rations he was use to eating. And Steve was in a great mood too, even if it was only be and Bucky left eating now. The rest of their crew had gone back to their barracks.

Peggy arrived just before dessert and stood with her arms held behind her back, just behind Steve, but the blond was busy grinning at Bucky to notice.

"Well privates. We need to speak again."

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