For John Watson

[howdull]

[Sherlock is still finding pieces of the melted laptop in the carpet.

It had actually been quite an ingenious booby trap to be devised by a fourteen year old boy with only household chemicals to work with but, as Sherlock surmised, rather overkill to keep his mother from finding his extensive porn collection. Not one of their more illustrious cases, but it had been quite entertaining to watch both the boy and mother's faces as he revealed that he did know the how and why. He lost interest after the mother started shouting and John started shouting and the whole thing turned tedious.

He rather thinks John won't actually be doing a full write-up of this one on his blog.

It's been two days since their last case and he's beginning to get more than a little antsy. Lestrade has sent him nothing, just a boring hit and run that he refused to even leave the flat for, and nobody interesting has appeared through the blog. Said blog he is currently scrolling through on John's laptop, having borrowed it again.

He did ask, it's not his fault John hadn't been in the room at the time.]

Bored, John.

[He doesn't even know if his flatmate is even in, but that's hardly a necessity for him to actually speak to John. Frustrated, he throws the laptop across the room to hit the wall, where it summarily breaks. Which is where he can be found whenever John appears, sulking amidst pieces of laptop, both from the melted one of their last case and John's poor broken one.]

Comments

[howdull]

[He grins, quick and sudden. He does enjoy John, that odd mix of awe at his abilities and teasing of his less fine moments.]

He may not be wrong, from what I've seen of him so far, he might be someone actually worthy of my time and effort. But I certainly won't be letting him kill me, though it may have to end with one of us dead. I doubt imprisonment will prove too much of a deterrent for someone with so much intelligence and reach.

[jumpthegun]

[John sighs.]

I need to get another gun.

[That's the important takeaway here.]

Any chance Mycroft could...?

[He is the government, after all.]

[howdull]

Probably, but do you really want to owe him another favour? We can get one from somewhere else, I know someone.

[Someone he once did a turn for who owes him a favour, not that he cares about that and nor did he at the time, it was just that their case had been interesting.]

You could walk away from this now, John. Your sister's killer is gone, you are no longer a target, and you require medical attention.

[There's a tiny almost imperceptible smile at his lips as he makes that suggestion, because he knows full well that John won't back down. It's oddly nice, having someone by his side in these cases.]

[jumpthegun]

And let you have all the fun?

[John huffs. They both know that's not happening.]

I'm gonna get something to eating. Think I saw vending machines, at least.

[A pause.]

If I could... borrow your card again. Crisps?

[howdull]

[He sighs, but he does pull out his bank card and hold it out towards John. As for the offer of food, he just shrugs, he's not particularly fussed.]

It would be more efficient to simply put you onto my account as a secondary holder, then you'd have your own card.

[jumpthegun]

Right and maybe have your assets frozen or seized or something because of some crime or other that gets pinned on me.

[It's also just intensely embarrassing to be on his flatmate's account. He's a grown man, and he shouldn't be in this situation. John takes the card and will take his time making his way to the vending machines. He gets a couple of packets of crisps for Sherlock and a peanut butter cracker thing for himself. It's not a lot, but it should tide them a little bit. At least until they can get these files from Mycroft's man.

As he's heading back, he notes a suspiciously gleaming black car pulling into the parking lot and watches it park. A man gets out with a briefcase and heads for their room. John expects it's Mycroft's man, but he's just going to be careful on his approach unless he needs to help Sherlock contain someone.]

[howdull]

[Sherlock will never understand John's embarrassment over finances. No, that's not precisely true, he understands the nuts and bolts of it, how it stems from his pride and his poor childhood, but he doesn't understand why he can't just get over it. It would make things a lot easier.

He doesn't bother to turn his head when he hears the door open, eyes closed and fingers steepled beneath his nose as he tries to work out what the best course of action would be from here.]

Put it on the table and leave.

[He knows it's not John, the tread of his footsteps is wrong, so he assumes this is Mycroft's current errand boy.]

[jumpthegun]

Mr. Holmes wanted me to inform you these are copies that should be fully destroyed when you finish reading them. Is that understood?

[John steps into the entrance.]

Yeah, we get it. Burn after reading. You can go.

[The man purses his lips, clearly unhappy with the situation, but he sets his briefcase down on the table and moves to leave. That attended to, John locks the door and puts the latch on.]

Reckon the briefcase has some sort of microphone?

[It almost certainly has a tracker, at a minimum.]

[howdull]

[Sherlock shoots a small approving look at John. It's always a pleasure in those moments where John proves that he's not a dullard; it might be an obvious deduction for Mycroft to be spying on them, but it's certainly not wrong.]

Naturally. Microphone, camera, tracker.

[He waves a hand carelessly, and if he accidentally happens to flip the bird at the briefcase as he does so, that's just a coincidence. He crosses over to open it and see what Mycroft has deigned to send.]

It doesn't matter, we'll hardly be taking it with us.

[jumpthegun]

[John drops the food on his bed and joins Sherlock. Inside the briefcase, there's a relatively slim file, a pair of burner mobiles, a lighter, and bank card with John's name on it. In addition, there's a note:]

£100 have been deposited. I will add more, as needed.

[The thought of Mycroft now keeping him on a financial leash makes John's skin crawl. He's not entirely sure if it's better than taking money from Sherlock. At least they're friends. But he's not going to destroy the card. It might come in handy in a pinch.

The files detail what little information is available on Moriarty. He's managed to keep his nose relatively clean, even while he's manipulated an enormous network across Europe.]

[howdull]

[Money is the least of Sherlock's worries when it comes to Mycroft tying strings to the pair of them. Money is trivial and easy to come by, and he still believes John should have taken the offer to spy on him when they first met.

Still, he can see the way John's spine stiffens slightly. This wounds his pride. Ridiculous. The file is irritatingly slim, Mycroft has barely more than they have, but there is one connection they can follow up.

Sebastian Moran, whoever that is.]

I think it may be beneficial for us to disappear temporarily.

[At least until he has more information. He doesn't want to admit out loud that Moriarty may be a match for him, or have even outmanoeuvred him for now, but the implication rings loudly all the same.]

[jumpthegun]

[That gets a raise of John's brows.]

You realize I'm still being investigated for war crimes at last check? What are we going to... fake our deaths, or something? I can't just disappear. Unless you have a hell of a plan for getting all of that taken care of when we turn up again.

[howdull]

[Sherlock's head comes up as if he's just noticed John standing there, voicing objections.]

No, we're going to fake your death. Both of us dying would be far too suspicious, and I need to remain in the game to draw Moriarty out. Having you free to investigate at my direction, and free of investigation for the present, will be a great help.

[jumpthegun]

[There's a part of him that wants to be outraged by that idea.]

Right. Well, at least I don't have family.

[The gallows humor is absolutely deadpan. He doesn't have family, that's true. But he has Sara, Mrs. Hudson, even Molly now. Sort of. He'd like to think she'd be a little upset. But at least she'd have Sherlock to fret over. And Sara might not want anything to do with him anymore, really. It will be safer for her if she doesn't.]

How exactly are we doing this?

[howdull]

[Sherlock nods, as if John's observation makes sense as one of the reasons he can disappear, rather than recognising it as a deadpan piece of humour.]

I'm not sure yet. An accident would be too convenient and contrived. It's a shame Caroline Matthews is dead, I'm certain she would have been able to provide an excellent solution.

cw: allusion to suicidal ideations/suicide

[jumpthegun]

Sorry more people don't want to kill me.

[It's said flatly once more, only the slightest lift of one brow.]

Not really the sort to do myself in, either.

[Technically. He's certainly thought about it. That was before meeting Sherlock, though, after the Army. After he'd lost everything important in his life. His service, his career. And his current life isn't great, but at least he still has a few tethers.]

cw: allusion to suicidal ideations/suicide

[howdull]

Not any more.

[It's almost an idle thought as he continues to think about how to work this properly, and so it takes a moment or two for it to sink in that this might be a little bit of a "not good" thing to have said.]

Which is... a good thing. Obviously.

Happy 3-year Anniversary on this PSL, by the by!

[jumpthegun]

[John's jaw tightens. That's... more insight than he really wants from Sherlock in the moment.] Obviously.

[Moving past it.]

You've got other enemies. Any chance they might come after me?

oh wow, that's nuts! Happy 3 years to you too.

[howdull]

Unlikely. I doubt they'd consider you of importance, definitely not worth their time in targeting to get to me.

[Which is distinctly irritating. And not intended to be insulting.]

I suppose a tragic accident might work.

[jumpthegun]

[He can feel the love right now. John just draws in a breath and lets it out slowly.]

Stage a fight and have me fall in front of a train or something?

[His mind goes to the Tube.]

Or have it look like a tragic accident Mycroft plans. Your brother really doesn't like me.

[howdull]

What makes you think that?

[Sherlock is surprised enough that he actually turns to focus on John properly.]

Mycroft holds you in surprisingly high regard. It's fairly annoying, actually.

[jumpthegun]

[That gets a raise of John's brow.]

You haven't got a second secret brother called Mycroft, have you? You do remember him trying to get you to leave me at the hospital, yes?

[howdull]

Yes, of course. He couldn't be more obvious in his regard for you.

[Seriously, John, pick up the cues.]

He thinks you're good for me, or some other such sentimental drivel.

[jumpthegun]

[That is the very opposite of the impression John had got from his interactions with the man thus far.]

S'pose I'm a body between you and Moriarty.

[That... makes more sense in the doctor's mind.]

All right, then. We still need a way for me to 'die' to get off the radar. D'you think... we could get into some sort of shoot out with the police and I could be killed in the scuffle. If you think that's something Lestrade would help us with.

[howdull]

[He finally turns to properly regard John, a rather unflattering look of surprise on his face as he nods.]

Not a wholly terrible plan, though I have some sincere doubts at how tolerant Lestrade will be feeling towards us currently.

[You know, given that they've escaped custody and hospital several times over at this point.]