Everyone's under the employ of Mycroft. He tried to get me to spy on you, remember? I'm starting to wish I took him up on the offer.

[ no he doesn't. although it would've been funny to wind him up by agreeing to it and feeding him big fat porkies. it would make up for the amount of times a black car pulled up beside him. ]

Anyway, you used to nick my laptop without asking and printed off my birth certificate. I'd say it's a family trait, but your mum and dad are... [ he scrambles for an appropriate to describe them. ] ... really, really normal.