[ john opens his mouth, closes it, and then shakes his head in long-suffering exasperation. what doesn't make any sense is how incensed sherlock is becoming over the contents of the fridge spoiling at different rates. it's an inconvenience, but not worth smashing a pot of left over stew over, especially since it's one of his rare culinary creations. ]

Okay... Columbo... calm down. Living room, now. I'm going to clear all this up and then we're going to play a board game.

[ don't make him use his captain voice on you. ]