Loki had suffered failed deceptions before, some of which had ended remarkably painfully for him, but rarely had someone seen through a lie and the continued so blithely with the truth as if he had not even spoken. It was embarrassing, a blow to his already fractured pride, and he found himself resenting her for just a moment or two.
The resentment, however, did not last long. It was subsumed too swiftly by the sheer panic that the thought of this spreading to others sent through him. He knew now that his actions had been wrong, had been fuelled by desperation and fear, but he could not face them. He could not face Asgard. Every time he thought that he may be able to, he saw Odin's face above him set in disappointment and indifference.
No, Loki.
Whatever he did now it would not be enough. He would never stand as Thor's equal, he would live his whole life in the shade of his brother's golden light. He would ever be aware of his true parentage and the monster that lurked beneath his skin, a Jotun, a lie his whole life. It made him sick with betrayal, it twisted his insides with a rage that frightened him for its intensity.
He did not know if he faced Thor again whether he would be able to keep himself from attacking once more.
"No, you must not tell her." Loki moved at once to stand between Darcy and the exit, his hands raised before him. "Jane Foster is a creature bound to Thor, she will not forgive my actions and she will tell him that I--" Still live. "--am here, on Midgard."
This situation seemed untenable, not salvageable. He should walk away now and disappear, he could slip through the branches of Yggdrasil to another world, another realm, and find his way there. It was foolish sentiment not to. An odd attachment that he had gained to these mortals and their defiance of their own frailty. He did not want to leave them. Fool.
"I wished only to assist anonymously to repair what I helped to break, I cannot return to Asgard." He swallowed hard, steeled himself to swallow his pride once more for necessity sake. "If there is any friendship between us, Darcy, I ask you not to do this."
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Loki had suffered failed deceptions before, some of which had ended remarkably painfully for him, but rarely had someone seen through a lie and the continued so blithely with the truth as if he had not even spoken. It was embarrassing, a blow to his already fractured pride, and he found himself resenting her for just a moment or two.
The resentment, however, did not last long. It was subsumed too swiftly by the sheer panic that the thought of this spreading to others sent through him. He knew now that his actions had been wrong, had been fuelled by desperation and fear, but he could not face them. He could not face Asgard. Every time he thought that he may be able to, he saw Odin's face above him set in disappointment and indifference.
No, Loki.
Whatever he did now it would not be enough. He would never stand as Thor's equal, he would live his whole life in the shade of his brother's golden light. He would ever be aware of his true parentage and the monster that lurked beneath his skin, a Jotun, a lie his whole life. It made him sick with betrayal, it twisted his insides with a rage that frightened him for its intensity.
He did not know if he faced Thor again whether he would be able to keep himself from attacking once more.
"No, you must not tell her." Loki moved at once to stand between Darcy and the exit, his hands raised before him. "Jane Foster is a creature bound to Thor, she will not forgive my actions and she will tell him that I--" Still live. "--am here, on Midgard."
This situation seemed untenable, not salvageable. He should walk away now and disappear, he could slip through the branches of Yggdrasil to another world, another realm, and find his way there. It was foolish sentiment not to. An odd attachment that he had gained to these mortals and their defiance of their own frailty. He did not want to leave them. Fool.
"I wished only to assist anonymously to repair what I helped to break, I cannot return to Asgard." He swallowed hard, steeled himself to swallow his pride once more for necessity sake. "If there is any friendship between us, Darcy, I ask you not to do this."