fossilised | military mistletoe

As much as Tony loved to travel, he preferred to do it in a private charter jet or, at least, in first class. The Army didn’t seem to understand the importance of his comfort, however, nor did they stop to think that a civilian might not want to be shoved into a jumpseat with fifteen of their finest unwashed masses. He appreciated the escort, considering where they were going for the demonstration of a new smart shell he’d developed in hopes of gaining a better foothold on defense contracts with the Defense Department, but he wasn’t sure that these men had showered much in the last few days.

Despite his general brilliance, Tony was more showman than he was R&D expert. That wasn’t because he lacked engineering genius, but because he couldn’t do everything. Hiring the best and the brightest to work for him only actually worked for him if he could be the face of the company and sell their products.

Sure. He dabbled. But dabbling didn’t keep a few hundred people employed and a technology business afloat. Just ask Zuckerberg. Or those idiots that sold Instagram to Zuckerberg. Or Google.

The plane rumbled beneath him as the pilots started take off sequences and Tony tugged on his restraints with a mix of mild dread. It didn’t get any better when one of the buckles popped loose either.

The man could create stuff out of 50s science fiction but he couldn’t get the belts to work? He cursed under his breath and fumbled with the straps.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

On his back now, Tony scoffed. “You make it sound like I care. You remember who I am, right?” Tony didn’t even look at Bucky. He just let a play acted annoyance merge into actual annoyance. He didn’t want to be thought of as some sort of goody goody that would actually try to help someone like that.

It didn’t make him feel good to be thought of as wholesome or heroic. He could almost hear the ghost of his father laughing about that.

“I don’t need a reason to be who I am. Talk to my supposedly non-existent PA if you don’t believe me. I have a record of blowing myself up. And never for a good cause.” Well now he was riled up. He didn’t usually let it get this far honestly but there was no helping it now and he pushed himself up on his elbow. “I’m being selfish here. If you end up going, what do I got to look forward to? And I’m pretty sure I could use the damned help here.”

"I don't want helping you to be a job or-- you're not a goddamn project, Tony, you're my friend. I'm gonna help you, I'm always gonna help you, but I need a different purpose."

He didn't want this to skew towards Tony thinking his only purpose was to be screwed up for Bucky's benefit, he wanted them to remain on even footing where they helped each other. No stupid egos in the way, and Tony would be his goddamn hero forever regardless of what he wanted and so Howard could laugh it up on the spirit plane all he wanted.

"I'm not going anywhere, I didn't say it right. I just meant that I scare myself sometimes and I need something. I always had something to work towards, you know? I worked towards good grades to get a good job, then I worked at basic training to advance and get better pay, then I worked at my missions, then I worked at keeping us alive, and now... now I haven't got any of that. I'm too fucked for work or school at the moment, and I've got no drive."

Opening and then shutting his mouth, Tony squinted down at Bucky and pushed himself upright more comfortably. “So you need something. And I can give you something. But you don’t want me to actually give you anything. So here we are and you’re drowning while I hold the rope out to you because you’re too stubborn to put the good arm to use. Why?”

Tony couldn’t read Bucky’s mind, couldn’t know that Bucky wanted to be friends with him without attachments. And even if he did know, Tony wasn’t sure what to do with that knowledge. Probably scoff.

“It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me for the green card here, Buck:”

"Because I know you, Tony. If you start thinking you're my project, then you're gonna close off and pretend that's the only reason you're my friend. I don't ever want there to be anything between us but plain old friendship, then you can't lie to yourself about having someone."

Maybe he's drowning, but he's not about to save himself by standing on someone else's shoulders so that they sink.

"I din't know what to do about all of this, I just-- I needed to say it out loud, you know? And I can't to anyone else."

military mistletoe

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