He knows that he's asking a lot of Steve to not tell Becca where he is. She must be out of her mind with worry at not having heard from him in so long anyway, and she'd be trying to keep the two younger ones from worrying. He had no right to keep them in the dark, it was just that he wasn't ready yet to let them see all the changes and deal with all of this becoming reality.
It was stupid and childish, but a part of him really thought that as long as he could keep people from finding out, then it wouldn't be true. He could work on himself and then reappear a few months later all better and they'd never have to know.
Stupid. Beyond stupid.
But now that plan has crashed down around his ears because of tenacious little Steve Rogers, not that it ever would have really worked anyway. So he has a choice whether to run or whether to stay. If he runs then he has ways of going to ground so he won't be found, he'll be left alone to his solitude and fear. But if he stays then it means being willing to fight, being brave enough to face up to his shit.
He nearly leaves four times in the six hours Steve is gone, he even makes it past his front door with one attempt, but each time he goes back inside. He's still there when Steve reappears, wearing the same faded hoodie and jeans, though he's got bare feet now instead of his boots. He looks exhausted, but there's something easier about his eyes when he smiles softly at the entrance of his friend, a determination to see this through if he can.
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It was stupid and childish, but a part of him really thought that as long as he could keep people from finding out, then it wouldn't be true. He could work on himself and then reappear a few months later all better and they'd never have to know.
Stupid. Beyond stupid.
But now that plan has crashed down around his ears because of tenacious little Steve Rogers, not that it ever would have really worked anyway. So he has a choice whether to run or whether to stay. If he runs then he has ways of going to ground so he won't be found, he'll be left alone to his solitude and fear. But if he stays then it means being willing to fight, being brave enough to face up to his shit.
He nearly leaves four times in the six hours Steve is gone, he even makes it past his front door with one attempt, but each time he goes back inside. He's still there when Steve reappears, wearing the same faded hoodie and jeans, though he's got bare feet now instead of his boots. He looks exhausted, but there's something easier about his eyes when he smiles softly at the entrance of his friend, a determination to see this through if he can.