Steve looks like a goddamn idiot, grinning at him like he's in training to be a clown or something. It used to be that Steve's smile could always make him smile in return, but there's something broken in his head where that reaction used to be, and his face apparently doesn't get the message. He looks wary up close, dark smudges under his eyes that suggest he doesn't sleep well, and there's no hint of the ready smile that he used to be able to charm pretty much any girl alive with.

But Steve-- god, he looks perfect.

He always had a thing for his best friend, figured it out when he woke up from a dream about Steve that had been anything but innocent and needed him to wash his bedsheets after. But he'd never said anything. He knew Steve wasn't straight, just figured if Steve felt the same way then he would have said something himself, he wasn't the sort of guy to keep things to himself. He had dreamed of Steve overseas a lot, different dreams that gave him strength, but the real thing is better. And worse. Seeing Steve, he's scared of seeing the changes in himself reflected.

"Uh-- actually, I was just going grocery shopping. I can do it another time."